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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take toddler to midwife appointment

32 replies

HeythereDelilah101 · 23/09/2022 13:04

So have 3 day postnatal check up today for me and baby. Will it be ok for partner and toddler to come? I’ve had an emergency c section. Still not completely steady on my feet and obviously I can’t do much right now. We don’t have anyone to watch our 1 year old so would need to take her… wil they be ok with this? Or should I check? I can’t go otherwise and I can’t carry baby in car seat or drive

OP posts:
mrsmccormick · 23/09/2022 13:17

Presumably DH and toddler would stay in the waiting room?

OriginalUsername3 · 23/09/2022 13:20

YANBU what else could they possibly expect you to do? I'm surprised you're having to go to them at 3 days post C section!

TamSamLam · 23/09/2022 13:22

That'll be fine.

Sophfreddie · 23/09/2022 13:22

Yes take them :)

Sophfreddie · 23/09/2022 13:23

Though, I'm pretty shocked it's not a home visit!

MrsR87 · 23/09/2022 13:24

I’m a sure they will be fine with that although they will probably be expected to wait in the waiting room.

SalviaOfficinalis · 23/09/2022 13:24

I would ask if you can have a home visit!

Flylikeabutterfly · 23/09/2022 13:24

Why would they have to stay in the waiting room? I see no problem with them going at all. I had to take my 5 year old to a midwife appointment as it was during half term, absolutely no issues whatsoever. And my midwives made me get in the car and come in to see them the day after having my section, they do not care and will not do home visits.

SpinningFloppa · 23/09/2022 13:24

I thought they came to you? They did with me

AdriannaP · 23/09/2022 13:26

Yes I took DC1 and partner.
the age of home visit is over!

i had to go back 4 times in the first 10 days because of jaundice and weight loss (baby not me!) such a pain to get out of the house with everyone shortly after giving birth.

AdriannaP · 23/09/2022 13:26

@SpinningFloppa in lots of areas they don’t anymore. I assume it saves time and money.

LionessesRules · 23/09/2022 13:27

Your partner and oldest can always drop you off, go for a wander, and come back to collect if the midwife won't let them in.

babynoname22 · 23/09/2022 13:28

Can you ask for home visit? I'm two weeks post section and my visits have been at home

PuttingDownRoots · 23/09/2022 13:30

Of course they can accompany you there. But they may not be able to come in with you (space, distraction etc) as there is another adult to care for them.

I took my toddler to prenatal, then both baby and toddler to any appointments for either of them as they went through vaccinations, illnesses, SALT etc. Its normal.

SpinningFloppa · 23/09/2022 13:33

Really I would have though going there was unusual, I am a single parent and have older child no way would I have dragged them all there on the bus straight after my section.

Original poster
HeythereDelilah101 · 23/09/2022 13:43

mrsmccormick · 23/09/2022 13:17

Presumably DH and toddler would stay in the waiting room?

i can only do that if they help with baby. Normally (I’ve had 5 babies already but natural deliveries) they expect you to undress baby, which I’m still struggling a bit at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
HeythereDelilah101 · 23/09/2022 13:44

SpinningFloppa · 23/09/2022 13:33

Really I would have though going there was unusual, I am a single parent and have older child no way would I have dragged them all there on the bus straight after my section.

That’s what you are expected to do here. I do also have older children but they will be at school anyway.

OP posts:
lifehappens12 · 23/09/2022 13:47

You have my sympathy and do what you must. I had a baby during lock down and an emcs.

Next day appointment (after leaving hospital) was at home but day 5 check up at hospital in a clinic about a 10 min walk from main entrance and no partners allowed inside.

On a plus side I used the pram to support my weight as i walked.

Once in the appointment the midwife pretty much did everything else while I just slumped in a chair - ie took the baby out the pram, undressed, changed nappy etc.

So do what you must do to cope.

SpinningFloppa · 23/09/2022 13:47

That’s not good I had 2 emcs and all apps was at home

AdriannaP · 23/09/2022 13:47

@HeythereDelilah101 they will let them both in. At my centre lots of older siblings were there. Of course you shouldn’t be expected to lift the car seat about or undress the baby if you are not able to yet. My DC had to come
with us twice and nobody bat an eyelid.

Queuesarasarah · 23/09/2022 13:48

I had mine at home and my older child and DH were there too. I don’t see the issue. It’s a vulnerable time physically and mentally.

89redballoons · 23/09/2022 13:51

At most of my MW appointment there's been a box in the corner of the room with toddler toys and books, so I think this is expected and fine.

Hugasauras · 23/09/2022 13:59

Yep fine but also amazed you have to go there! I had a baby 3 months ago via section and everything was a home visit (and my other daughter was present for them and found it all very interesting Grin).

properdoughnut · 23/09/2022 14:03

I was expected to go in. DH was allowed to help me carry baby into room then he had to leave due to covid measures and wait in the waiting room far far away and then I had to ring him to come and get us back.

PinkButtercups · 23/09/2022 14:06

I took my DS to my 16 week midwife appt. I did make them aware he was coming with me. They had no problem with it as it wasn't a scan.

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