To get rid of the dog

[Feelingbluey]

We have two dogs, aged 7 and 4 and love them both. Had them both from puppies. The younger dog has become very growly and aggressive the older he is getting. He'll growl and try to start a fight with the older one out of absolutely no where. Luckily the older one rarely reacts which de-escalates things quickly but every once in a while they will have a horrible fight if the older one does react. It's never the older one who starts it. He gets very nervous of meeting other dogs on a walk and 7 times out of 10 maybe will just go ballistic if we meet one and bark very aggressively at them so he has to stay on the lead at all times and we avoid other dogs if we see them coming.
He's started to just randomly growl in the last year or so too, I can't pinpoint exactly when that happened but it is relatively new.
I have a 2yo DD and am heavily pregnant. For the first time ever he growled at my DD yesterday and turned to nip at her, he didn't touch her but it made me extremely uncomfortable. We were all three on the couch together so I was right there and she did not do anything to him that I saw, I can only think at all that she may have stretched a leg and maybe to him felt like a kick but she did absolutely nothing deliberate or obvious to him. I already never leave her alone with them but the fact I was right there, he seemed perfectly calm and settled then suddenly started growling and turned as though to nip her has terrified me and I can't get out of my head now that we need to re-home him.
He's honestly a lovely dog when he's not growling and he has never bitten another dog or person but he is getting progressively more grumpy and unpredictable.
I don't know what has caused him to be like this, we did everything we were 'supposed' to do and he has an hour's walk minimum every day and lots of fuss, admittedly less than he had pre DD but still.
DH and I both work full time, we've spoken about how we just don't have the time to give him what he needs as he obviously needs some more extensive care than we have been offering and as I can't trust him around the children, I think the only option is to find another home for him which breaks my heart because I do love him so much, but I have to prioritise my children. I think he needs a home without other dogs and without children which we obviously cannot offer him.

I tend to agree with the dont rehome your dog brigade.
However, this dog is clearly unhappy in the situation he is in and youre right he needs to be somewhere with no kids or dogs.
If he does end up snapping at one of the kids he will end up being PTS. Rehome now before anything actually happens.
Sounds like you have tried your best by him.

Was dog resting/sleeping on sofa with you both? If she unexpectedly touched him while sleeping he probably got a jump. I don’t let my kids next to dog on sofa if he’s sleeping/resting as I can’t predict what they’ll do. Probably best not to let dog on sofa.

OP, if the dog is a working cocker it needs to be worked.

You need a dog trainer to help you find out how to bring more enrichment into it's life, agility training, scent games, retrieving etc.

If you aren't prepared to do that then see if the breeder can rehome with the shooting community.

I get fed up with people buying a dog without taking into account what the dog was actually bred for and then being unable to cope. If you are both working f/t it was ridiculous to get an outdoor dog that needs plenty of free-running.

I’d also book a vet appointment specifically to discuss the issues you’ve discussed here so it’s not tied in with something else. And I’d get another behaviourist and work with them for a period of time.

if all that fails then yes I would try to régime, preferably with someone the dog already knows because whilst it’s a breed not known to kill children that doesn’t mean your DD won’t be badly bitten. But I think you should explore other options first.

The dog that has behavioural issues goes to work with the father every work day, which is mainly in an outdoor setting. I don't know about the older dog, but my best guess is that he was also a working cocker, and they got the new one when the older one was getting near to retirement age.

By the way I have no problem with any of that as they are also family dogs, who live and sleep in the home. I am going to digress a bit now, as I want to add here that I do have a very big problem when any sort of working dog is kept in kennels (however luxurious they may be, but probably aren't), and/or dogs that once their working lives are over are not kept on as family pets. Eg. so called "ex" fox hunting dogs, racing greyhounds, guard dogs, farm and other types of landowner dogs that are kept outside because they are only considered to be working dogs, etc. Our amazing canines have spent thousands of years adapting to, and then depending on, and loyally loving, their own humans - so we must never let them down.

Imo all dogs both need and deserve to have at least one human who is their's. Ideally that human will be their constant human from 8+ weeks old to the dear dog's death. On the rare occassions when that really becomes impossible, as this one, on this occassion, may sadly become, it is very important that the DDog's next humans are extremely unlikely to have to rehome him again. Hence me asking the OP to make sure that any future adopters appear healthy (and younger than retirement age), have at least two of them so that if anything happened to the other one, the dog would not have to be rehomed again. For the same reasons they need to own their own home - and particularly for this DDog - not have any young children, or other pets, and to already be experienced dog owners themselves.

I find this narrative so unhelpful in general. Yes, some dogs have behavioural problems due to lack of training, appropriate socialisation etc, but sometimes it's genetic.

We have a fear-aggressive lab. We found out it runs down the family line. It can be difficult to talk about it bc of judgmental people presuming it must be us who did something wrong or somehow failed her.

OP, you won’t get any sensible advice from the MN dog frotters.

Of course you should keep an aggressive dog that has snapped at your child with another baby on the way. Then, when the dog does something serious like bite the face off your baby you’ll be vilified for not getting the dog out of your house. You’re always the bad guy here.

The growling and snapping is a dogs way of communicating they’re not happy. Something in the home environment (if you’re sure nothing physical is wrong) is making this poor dog stressed and unhappy. Throwing thousands at behaviourists could work, if you were a single woman with unlimited time, but you’re a mum to a toddler and a baby on the way. When is OP supposed to put in the intensive work this dog will need? 3am while cluster feeding? Working on an aggressive dog with baby in sling, of course that’s a sensible solution 🙄

Notice NO ONE has even recommended any sort of trainer or behaviourists, just screamed those words at you. Like the good ones are easy to come by, and don’t have waiting lists coming out their arse.

It’s best this dog is removed from a place it is clearly unhappy, scared, living with another dog who he fights with regularly, getting locked away because obviously your own child’s safety is the number 1 priority. Why any dog lover can’t see a short term upheaval for 1 dog is worse than a miserable life for 2 dogs, 2 adults and 2 children is genuinely mental.

Please see the vet and ask what they think about rehoming. They will tell you if it’s a good idea or not. I can’t believe the posts on here about keeping the dog - has no one seen the news over the last six months?! Young kids mauled to death by dogs that were rehomed ?! Ffs, mumsnet has gone mad again. Don’t put your kids at risk, for gods sake. You will never forgive yourself.

I agree with you - your children come first OP.

The safety of the children is paramount. Rehome the dog, it is absolutely the best decision.

I'd regime it.

The title you chose for your post was never going to go down well...

There's a lot of animal lovers on MN (myself included) and to suggest you're 'getting rid' of a pet makes it sound pretty heartless.

If I needed to re-home my pet for some reason, the last thing I would write is 'get rid' - he's not a piece of rubbish.

Oh great xx Never mind that the dog has shown aggression, she’s not a chav so no way can it be an aggressive dog despite it’s clear aggression! Christ how stupid. As if a spaniel can’t bite a child.

Personally I think the bar for dog ownership needs to be so much higher - people see them as a family pet but realistically they need a huge amount of input that’s often just not compatible with a young family. As you’re now finding out when you want to get rid of the dog you brought into the home. If you don’t want to work with him at all then yes, get rid. Do be really honest about his issues, it will give him the best chance of not being punted around a bunch of different homes/sold on by adopters on gumtree etc. If you’re honest with the rescue then they may be able to rehome him safely.

Sounds the dog would be happier as the only dog in the home and maybe without children. It's clearly not happy and forcing them to fit in in a place that makes them ub

Wow, some very aggressive posts on this thread. Hope you're not taking them to heart, OP.

I'm one of those people who thinks dogs are a life-long commitment and should not be given up on a whim.

However, your number one priority is to your children and if you think the dog might be a danger to them of course you must take appropriate steps to make sure they are safe. If that means rehoming the dog, so be it.

I have two rescue dogs, one of whom has been very difficult, and we have never considered giving him up. However he has never been in the least bit aggressive to us, DD or anyone. If he had, then things might be very different.

I have been in a similar position, if you have been down every avenue, and can say honestly you've tried everything to make it work, seen behaviourists done the work. Then the only option is to rehome, but go through a breed specific or to someone you know.

Don't rehome to random people as he's likely to be pushed from home to home. We rehomed through a breed specific and she went to an amazing couple who suited HER needs, and she's thriving. Sometimes we have to do what's best for the dog.

Have you spoken to Spaniel Aid, @Feelingbluey?

They're hugely overwhelmed with owner hand-ins but they could maybe offer you some advice.

Sorry website jumped up while I was typing.

A place that makes them uncomfortable, long term is it really the best for them? When they could have one very unsettling move, but be in a place that's absolutely more of a fit for them. Rehoming responsibly isn't the cruel when the dog is clearly not happy.

You are completely right I would definitely rehome it’s not worth the risk to your toddler or new baby

Please rehome him through a breed specific rescue like

https://r.search.yahoo.com/ylt=Awr.hi4cWS1jbHcI7zV0g81Q;;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzUEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1663945117/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fthecockerspanielclub.co.uk%2frescue.htm/RK=2/RS=H.5uWW24wYMawAuh3q.fF0YRUlU-

Although I'm not familiar with this actual rescue, I was a Rehoming Ccordinator for a different UK breed for a few years. I think he's resource guarding you. This is a difficult and lengthy problem to deal with and given your circumstances with the children it is too risky for him to be around them and consequently part of the family. He needs to go to a dog and child free home, which are the charity will help find. Dogs adjust very quickly to a new home.
You have had a hard time here but I suggest it's the wording ie 'get rid' that hasn't helped. Its actually brave to admit you are not coping and considering Rehoming. Good luck.

You needed to nip it in the bud when he started being aggressive to the other dog. You also need to phone around for dog trainers and get advice.

You either need to commit to solving the problem properly - or rehome.

You say you’ve taken the dog to the vets and done some training but it doesn’t sound like this was recent and very thorough. Get a proper, thorough, check over by the vets, and get a long term plan set up with a behaviourist.

If you can’t commit to that then rehoming the dog with someone who can actually invest time and effort in the dog might be the kinder thing to do and in the dogs best interests.

(And to everyone surprised at the OP’s tone and talk of ‘getting rid of the dog’….this comes from someone in a family who shoots animals for fun!)

Absolutely no where has the op given indication or said she got the dog for fun. Stop talking shit.