To get rid of the dog

[Feelingbluey]

We have two dogs, aged 7 and 4 and love them both. Had them both from puppies. The younger dog has become very growly and aggressive the older he is getting. He'll growl and try to start a fight with the older one out of absolutely no where. Luckily the older one rarely reacts which de-escalates things quickly but every once in a while they will have a horrible fight if the older one does react. It's never the older one who starts it. He gets very nervous of meeting other dogs on a walk and 7 times out of 10 maybe will just go ballistic if we meet one and bark very aggressively at them so he has to stay on the lead at all times and we avoid other dogs if we see them coming.
He's started to just randomly growl in the last year or so too, I can't pinpoint exactly when that happened but it is relatively new.
I have a 2yo DD and am heavily pregnant. For the first time ever he growled at my DD yesterday and turned to nip at her, he didn't touch her but it made me extremely uncomfortable. We were all three on the couch together so I was right there and she did not do anything to him that I saw, I can only think at all that she may have stretched a leg and maybe to him felt like a kick but she did absolutely nothing deliberate or obvious to him. I already never leave her alone with them but the fact I was right there, he seemed perfectly calm and settled then suddenly started growling and turned as though to nip her has terrified me and I can't get out of my head now that we need to re-home him.
He's honestly a lovely dog when he's not growling and he has never bitten another dog or person but he is getting progressively more grumpy and unpredictable.
I don't know what has caused him to be like this, we did everything we were 'supposed' to do and he has an hour's walk minimum every day and lots of fuss, admittedly less than he had pre DD but still.
DH and I both work full time, we've spoken about how we just don't have the time to give him what he needs as he obviously needs some more extensive care than we have been offering and as I can't trust him around the children, I think the only option is to find another home for him which breaks my heart because I do love him so much, but I have to prioritise my children. I think he needs a home without other dogs and without children which we obviously cannot offer him.

I'd rehome the dog. Your children must come first. But of a no-brainer for me.

If I were you, I’d him to another vet and get him properly checked out, but it seems you have already made your mind up.

Sounds unusual for a spaniel to be agressive. Was he there first before the other dog? Could it be jealousy that he is getting less attention than he used to? Has he lost "his space" over the years?

The question is, would you still rehome him if he had behaved that way to you rather than your child or if you didnt have the children? Or would you work on it?

Sorry your in this situation must be so hard, I would rehome him asap as with a baby on the way too your not going to be able to constantly supervise your toddler 100 percent especially as they get older, opening doors etc and also worrying about the dogs fighting the children could end up in the middle of it. Your dog maybe happier in an only dog no children household as well. You've tried your best but your children's safety comes first and your dog is showing signs he will move on to biting , especially as he was calm and relaxed when he went to nip so you can not trust him to be in the same room at all with your children at all now and it's not possible go live like that it's better to rehome for everyone dog included as he would likely prefer a child free only dog household you've done nothing wrong but your thinking of the best situation for your dog and your family and your children come first

I have no dogs nor do I want one so I’m coming from a place of zero emotion. Protect your child at all costs and if that means euthanising the dog - so be it.

Not sure why you are hesitating.

Protect your children. It has to go.

I believe that some cocker spaniels can be a bit neurotic - ours certainly was. She was also prone to rages and snapping. She wasn’t dangerous, just bad tempered and liked her own space. But I don’t know how I would have felt about having her around a baby. Like previous posters have said, I think you should get some advice from a specialist trainer - particularly one familiar with cocker spaniels.

We had a similar situation and rehomed. It was definitely an incredibly hard decision but the reality was that the time and space needed to train was just not there for us (we were already working hard on basic training) and in the meantime I would never trust the dog with our child or any other child again. It was heartbreaking, my daughter still cries about it (luckily she doesn’t remember being bitten). We paid a hefty donation to a breed specific rescue who found him a much more suitable home. I still get updates and he is doing really well. I don’t regret it at all. In his case, he really needed a calm quiet environment (ie no children). Although he wasn’t grumpy, he found children incredibly over exciting and just couldn’t relax if any were around. He was constantly ‘on’ which resulted in him being exhausted and over excited and eventually to an incident.

You need to see a different behaviourist. The traits you've described can be very common in spaniels. Get in touch with the breeder, see if it's a family line issue.

Is it that he isn't being worked mentally when he isn't working and beating?

I'd find a different behaviourist first. Muzzle train him so he doesn't bite anyone accidentally, plenty of great videos on how to do this on so many behaviourists instagrams.

What area are you in?

Why would you have even one dog, let alone two, if you both work full time?

Rehome the dog.

I'm a huge pet lover. I have a 5 yr old German shepherd who is only allowed off lead in secluded areas due to challenging behaviour with other dogs. She is thankfully well behaved at home with visitors and a dream with the family. We did have a rescue before who was the opposite, awful at home (with visitors only, she loved the family) but was really good with people and dogs outside. It never occurred to me to re-home either, we managed their behaviours. However, being unpredictable with family members is completely different, especially young children who wouldn't have a chance against a dog. I would be looking to re-home

@deviatedseptum Working spaniels are one of the softest breeds, well known for being good around children. You are obviously a troll or an idiot.

Take him to the vet and get a DECENT behaviourist. And for all the people saying “re-home him”. To where, exactly?? Rescue centres are literally overflowing, with extremely long waiting lists. Volunteers are at breaking point, with other peoples dogs crammed in every available rescue space. In August alone, a well known spaniel rescue had over 150 requests to rehome dogs, mainly due to all the idiots who bought dogs over lockdown and now “want rid”. And your dog, which obviously requires some training, will not be an easy rehome. Start by getting him off the bloody couch, grumpy dogs do not get sofa privileges!! Then get a GOOD behaviourist and go from there.

@deviatedseptum

You clearly know nothing about spaniels or working dogs. Do not pretend that you are offering advice that is at all correct or useful.

OP is there a good home in your shooting community that might take him?

Dog behaviourist

I assume both dogs are neutered? If not, start with that. A younger male challenging an older male is a dog fight waiting to happen. I do not know about English cockers, but the American Cocker Spaniel has a condition called "Spaniel rage" that usually appears between ages 2 and 4. It is a sudden, very aggressive reaction to something unremarkable a child moving their foot, a family member dragging the vacuum cleaner across the floor, dropping an item on the floor boom, the dog (usually male) launches an attack on the object or person.

He needs a vet appointment ,he’s most probably in pain

If he's checked at the vets and that doesn't throw anything up, I'd say rehoming him sounds like the right thing in your situation,

What are you talking about? Working cocker spaniels don’t attack anything, they flush out birds and then retrieve them when they are already dead. “Trained in violence” 🙄

OP, I agree with others that you need to take your dog to a vet again (maybe a different vet) and have him checked over thoroughly so they can try and work out any underlying physical cause for his aggression. Then I would recommend that you have a reputable behaviourist come to the house and observe your dog. If they think that he is genuinely unhappy living in your home, rather than these just being behavioural issues, then I would rehome him. I think a dog is a commitment as much as the next person, but that means doing what is best for them not blindly keeping them in your home if it is stressing them or putting your children at risk. It may be that he needs to be an only dog or live in a house without young children. Yes rehoming dogs is a very emotive topic, but sometimes it is the best thing to do.

One of those people who prioritises the safety of her child? I’d 100% do the same.