Entitled attitude: grandparents must provide childcare

[Hope54321]

I’m seeing a lot more of this attitude quite recently. Why do people have children if they can’t look after them or pay for their childcare? Why is it that grandparents are expected to do the childcare so the parents can work? I think it’s acceptable if the grandparents are offering to help out, but to feel like grandparents should be obliged to offer childcare is simply taking the biscuit.

There’s nothing ironic about it. It would only be ironic if I was saying therefore their parents shouldn’t have helped them in return. But, they were much more likely to do so. People should pass the baton on, not hog everything to themselves.

I'm nearly 50, have 3 dds, I also have a grandson (7) and a dd at home still being only 16. I never expected my parents (my dm let's face it) to be my childcare. She had the for the odd times. My mil had my youngest once a week while I worked at the family business when it was school hols, once again never asked her to, she offered. And bless her now she's in her 70s she looks after the newest addition to our family 1 day a week and loves it. My dd was a young mum to my dgs and I have always helped her out. I could have put my foot down and said no but this world is hard enough as it is and she needed to work and he needed minding. As it is we have an amazing relationship and I still have him for sleepovers and school hols. I wanted to do this and yes my daughter did come to me for help. I would have said no if I didn't want to. A few of my friends have their grandkids one day a week. None of us are old and doddery so that helps. No it shouldn't be expected but it's kind to offer.

No. Rising housing and energy costs. Your mum was able to do that as they likely had a cheap as chips mortgage.

The one where you say this?

“There was massive unemployment in the 70s
Only 5% of the population went to university
Lower house prices and high interest rates, the basic rate of tax was 33%
The NHS is still free
Women weren’t given entry to many pension schemes and lots of occupations didn’t offer one”

Eh? I haven’t said anything that contradicts your points about the 70’s or the NHS or women, or that indicates that I’m biased in any way. I’ve just posted links to well regarded peer reviewed studies reported in high quality media outlets, that show that the boomer generation that lived through those things, are still slightly better off than their children.

I didn’t say your points were wrong. Just that the studies show that in spite of your points being true boomers kids are worse off than their parents who lived through those things you mention.

My MIL said this - what women saw as ‘work’ back then and now are very different.

A lot of women above 60 who say they ‘worked all their lives’ usually mean very limited hours, or part time, or ‘odds and ends’ rather than a full contracted 9-5, 5 days a week.

But it’s not as different as you first think, as illustrated by my example. Both parents in the family worked in order to survive. Retired grandparents provided childcare.

So parents aren’t owed care in old age because it was their choice to have kids and so their job to care for them (fair), but your choice to have kids mean they have to care for them?! Why aren’t you applying the same rules to yourself?

I've already told my children I won't be doing this. They are only 6 and 4 currently so they should have really got the message by the time it's applicable.

Require 2 working parents

Then don't have kids if you can't afford to either only have 1 working parent, work different shifts, or afford their childcare.

Do you receive any grandparent help?

Ok, there will be no nurses or carers or bin men in your old age. You’ll have to do all that shit yourself.

😆

I’ve just posted links to well regarded peer reviewed studies reported in high quality media outlets, that show that the boomer generation that lived through those things, are still slightly better off than their children.
@PlumPudd
Can you not see that they have cherry-picked data to get the answer they want? Never heard of "lies, damn lies and statistics"?

Most people plan to have children so it's taking the piss to not plan how you will sort out actual childcare. Hugely entitled but fortunately I know very few GP that are put upon in this way. The ones I do are extremely vocal about wanting b their time back.

It is also massively entitled to not plan for your own care when you're elderly though.

Not an option for us as our parents live 200 and 400 miles away. What I would love is if my DPs wanted to spend any time getting to know their GCs. That would be enough for him.

I think women not working, unless middle or upper class, is a myth. Women didn’t have careers after they had children, but they had jobs. Cleaning, ironing, jobs that fitted in round the kids at school.

The main difference was no contracts, no sick or holiday pay and no legislation protecting them. There is no generation in my family where there’s been a blanket “women didn’t work”.

😂😂

Best thing I've read on here for a while.

You think it's reasonable to have children you can't afford? Pay for their childcare. It's what people who don't have family to rely on do.

If You don't rely on grandparents there are options:

• Pay for childcare
• Have a partner who can afford for y

Children's are an absolute blessing..

Not everyone can have them and if I am blessed and lucky enough to have some , I hope I can support my own DC in anyway I can with them because it's gruelling hard work.

However within reason of what I could do at that age.
There are many variables that come into it.
If you get on with your adult children and have access to the GC and all roughly get on ,what a blessing.
However...many people are not fond of DC , are too old ,poor , frail, worried... don't like their children.

One of the saddest things in my life is my DC don't have good gp.
It's such a loss.

Who can afford for you to stay home

Work different shifts so one parent always at home

If none of that will work then you can't really afford kids

It’s rarely like that though. Imagine budgeting for one baby and having twins. Or being made redundant after they’re born. Or having a child with special needs.

It’s about as realistic as saying ‘people shouldn’t get old if they don’t want to splash out on their nursing care’.

I don't see why that means you need to rely on GPs. You should always assume they won't. They could die, then what? It's your job as a parent to sort out childcare. If you have twins when only expected one, you just have to deal with it, don't you? I don't have GPs to rely on, if I had twins i'd either have to abort or sort something myself with DP

I'm a grandparent. I'm really interested to hear what you think I've done to create a society which requires two parents to be working? And in what way you think I should be 'giving back to the system?'

Not getting the rest of the country to subsidise fuel, buses and nursing care?

@Dotjones
Truly the most cuntish thing I've read in a very long time.
Do you not understand how families work?
Are you on some sort of mind altering substance?

Do you live in Little Trivet where everyone in the village knows everyone and lives there until they die?

Christ a-fucking-live!!!