Late 30s what’s your life like?

[C1239]

I’m not meaning to compare my life with others, I’m just interested in if your in your late 30s what your normal day / weekend looks like? What are you happy with or what are you looking to change etc? I’m always interested in ways to improve myself and take inspiration from others!

Surely it depends on family set up too? I'm 36 with a 6 and a 2 year old, working full time so a normal weekday day is school/nursery run. work. nursery and childminder. Dinner. Clear up. bed.

I'm 38, have a three year old DS. I work 4 days a week while DS is at nursery and am at home with him on the other days. My life is pretty dull. Just a cycle of nursery / child wrangling and work really.

im 36, is that late thirties enough? Actually don’t answer that! (I know it is)

husband, no kids. Dog. Work from home in the week, evenings are spent doing yoga or working out, quite low key as our jobs are at times stressful. Thursday nights we will often have a little cocktail at home and decompress. Weekends are seeing friends and family, weekend trips, walking the dog, cooking, wine, going out to eat or exploring where we’ve just moved to.

fairly happy but it’s much more low key than pre pandemic. I still feel like im not quite in the swing of life following all the lockdowns but can’t express why!

I’d imagine it depends a lot of whether you’re a parent or not.

I’m not: my life is a career I love which I can devote my attention to and which therefore pays excellently; money which I suppose 30-something parents would be spending on childcare and school uniform which I spend on weekends away at least once a month and pretty much whatever else I want. I go to festivals and Burning Man with my friends in the summer; spend my weekends clubbing until the small hours, meeting up with friends, having friends over for dinner, running marathons, in the pub with DP, or just doing absolutely nothing for an entire day.

I wouldn’t change a thing, I’m incredibly happy and my life is fab. The advice I’d give to women without the children and a bit on the fence is to think really hard about whether it’s really what they want or whether it’s just societal pressure or worrying they might miss out if they don’t. And advice to women generally: be more selfish. Put yourself first and do what you want to do more often, don’t subjugate yourself to some man for sake of being in a relationship.

@Yetanotheryeti i also feel I’m not fully back to ‘normal’ life following the lockdowns , so glad it’s not me! Things just feel a bit different still!

@ComtesseDeSpair
i love this ❤️

@C1239 it’s weird isn’t it! Glad it’s not just me though. I also feel I was a lot younger pre pandemic somehow, feel like the last few years have been tough and I’m in a bit of a different place now somehow.

Late 30s.

Single. Two kids with a huge age gap between them both and feeling like an absolute mug for ending up a single mum all over again. Eldest has SEN which limits my work options, and carer burnout in lockdown means I'm now not working at all. I have mental and physical health problems. I worry about finances. I worry what will happen with eldest when I'm no longer here.

I struggle with the very basics and see no way how my life will ever be shiny happy fantastic like some I see. 😔

My 40th is approaching and I feel like a failure.

@Pheefifofuckthisshit just wanted to say you’re not a failure. It sounds to me like you’re doing an incredible job, and that you’ve had a tough time.

Late 30s, married, 3 kids, SAHM. I have almost exactly the life I dreamed about as a child. I love being with my kids, I love spending time as a family, I love all the activities we do as a family and I love supporting the kids in their activities. I guess it’s a small life but it’s one I am very grateful for. I am not without worries - at all! - but I had a really miserable adolescence so it feels very good to be here.
If I feel regret about anything it’s that I haven’t invested in my friendships as much as I should have, so I have fewer friends than I once did, but the friends I do have are very very precious to me.

@ComtesseDeSpair I love your post. Our lives couldn’t be more different (though I did the high earning, wild living thing in my early 20s) but I love that you are so happy with your choices. I couldn’t agree more about women only having kids if they really want them - as someone who did always want them and who absolutely relishes having them I am always shocked by the number of women on this website who seem to not much enjoy their kids. I do think too many women succumb to the pressure to conform (have been there myself with work/SAH) to their detriment.

I am 36. 4 children- two of them between 5-10 and 2 of them are late teens.

Weekdays- wake up 6am ish
3 days a week I sea swim at sunrise. Home for 7.30ish. Get ready and go to work
Home from work, dinner and chill.
I'm always doing housework and laundry.

Weekends we usually do diy (new homeowners, see family.

Late 30s, married, 2 DC now both in primary school, about to go back up to FT after years of 0.8. Weekdays are school run, work, maybe studying or going out, exercise. Weekends are chilling with kids, going to activities, meeting up with friends.

I'm very happy with my life.

38, two kids 6 and 2, work part time but spend a lot of time at home doing housework tbh, I work evenings and weekends so not much quality family time, struggling for money too. But overall I'm happy and have a lot to be grateful for

These answers are all so interesting.
@Airymanning sea swimming regularly sounds awesome!

Late 30’s. Second marriage with one teen and one almost teen from first marriage.
I work 20 hours a week, week days only and spend my time shopping, decorating, and baking.
I like to visit national trust properties at the weekend and also antique shops and junk shops.
I am fairly boring really!

Married 1 DC, fulltime jobs for both of us, we have probably scaled back career expectations to balance being parents, thought weren't desperately ambitious anyway! Life is pretty low key, seeing family and friends when possible, DC is the priority but we aren't martyrs. We both struggle to fit in what we'd like from exercise, and I do think about hobbies I'd probably have if had stayed child free. Some I'll health has affected abilities to do things so just try to look after ourselves and enjoy life as much as possible, in a low stress way. I like simple things and am not an extrovert or a big social party person. On the whole happy

Always make time for meditation and yoga to reduce stress, lots of early nights and try to regard as an investment in tomorrow rather than a waste of time today!

Late 30s, two secondary aged DC. DH works away during the week so I WFH then play taxi ferrying DC to their sports clubs.

Weekends usually dominated one morning by sport and then the rest whatever crops up. We have been away the last six weekends so this weekend I am mostly wanting to do nothing.

I am envious of those who get to do what they want during the week. Our jobs do allow us to have a lot of disposable income, but I do wonder what it would be like to have a partner here during the week. Though I'd have to share my bed so maybe I'll skip that.

37, partner, 2 kids ages 1 and 5.

Partner and I both work 4 days a week and spend the other day (not the same day) with the baby. School, nursery and work are all very close (walking distance) so we ought to be very relaxed, but weekdays feel very rushed - kids up, everyone fed and dressed, I head off to work and partner does drop offs, I do pick-ups, playground, home, dinner, baths, bedtimes - by about 8pm we have the chance to spend a couple of hours to ourselves, but don't do a lot with them alas - I watch a lot of telly and scroll my phone far too much, I want to write a book, and read a lot more. I would also like to learn the drums but that seems like a bit of a crazy pipe dream 😂

Weekends are a bit of a struggle right now as it's hard to hit the sweet spot where both kids are entertained at once given their age gap - this is closing now and they do play more together. Now youngest is older, I'm looking forward to being able to leave her with DP and get away more often - visit friends around the country, go out to gigs or the pub etc.

I think the tricky thing about a young family at this age is that your partner would usually be your 'main friend' by this stage of life - but you can't actually do anything together as one of you always has to be at home with the children!

Late 30s here.

I have a lot of spare time. I live with DH, no kids (still trying) and I work 2 days a week in retail. Weekdays (when not working) I cook, clean, the usual chores. I do a lot of running and go to the gym a few times a week.

Weekends really aren't different to weekdays at all, now I think about it.

Lucky to be financially well off. And I feel privileged and somewhat content but not fulfilled; I don't feel like 'me'. I'm house hunting for the forever home at the moment and I want a career or my own business, I just don't know what to do.

If we don't have a baby this year then we'll stop trying and will apply to foster older kids, I had an awful childhood and would love to offer stability and understanding to kids who are struggling through no fault of their own.

I used to do a lot of artwork and writing but my creativity was lost along the way somewhere!

@ComtesseDeSpair your life does sound very wonderful 😁 I wouldn't give up my kids, but I do sometimes wonder how on earth I filled my time before I had them - your post reminded me! I used to be cool! I used to go out all the time! I'd spend a whole day cooking one really special meal! I'd read a whole book in a single weekend if I was enjoying it! I do miss that freedom and look forward to getting it back again in dribs and drabs as they grow older.

I'm always in two minds with my daughters how to guide them in that sense. I do think women get too easily sucked into the caregiver role, not just with kids but in relationships and within family dynamics. Always putting themselves last, always serving the needs and wants of others. So I want to encourage them to, as you say, 'be selfish' - prioritise themselves, what they want, really think about whether children are the right thing for them before just going there - but tbh I find my relationship with my children far more reciprocal and rewarding than any other relationship in my life, and I wouldn't want to discourage them from experiencing that! If anything I'd want to warn them off taking up with a man rather than having children. And certainly never to feel any obligation to 'look after' her parents in their old age, which I think always seems to fall on daughters rather than sons.

I’m 39.
one DC age 3.
Recent miscarriage. Probably won’t conceive again.
In my early 30s was never sure I’d meet someone and have a child so very grateful for that and enjoying it (apart from the public meltdowns.)
I work 2.5 days and am really happy with the balance.
However I’ve left behind a lot of interests I had in my 20s such as reading, meditation/yoga. I do feel a gap there.
Managing various mental health issues better than before due to therapy.
Would like to study, some regrets about career choice.I lack the ability to make decisions.
Pinch of jealousy when I see what ex school friends are up to (photographers/curators).
More tired than I thought I’d be.
Less healthy than I’d thought I’d be.

Single, no kids, live alone. Evenings not much, come home from work about 7.30 so just unwind until bed when I then watch a show. Dinner is simple, or get a takeaway (getting a special from Pizza Hut tonight); I like not having to decide what's for dinner and having whatever I feel like.

Weekends chop and change. Sometimes I work, but have been on a break from that for the last couple of months. Otherwise I try to have relaxing weekends every other weekend. So no plans. Last weekend was a busy one for me (and I was fighting a cold) so am looking forward to a chilled weekend just doing whatever takes my fancy.

I have a friend in a similar boat to me lifestyle-wise (similar job, relationship and living situation) so we regularly meet up on a whim for a coffee/shopping or go over to each other's for some wine and a chat.

I'm not big into physical hobbies, I do enjoy reading so will set time aside for that.

I find it very interesting reading this thread, that almost every post mentions the decision to be a parent or not within the first line.

I wonder if this was posted on a more male-dominated forum, what the answers would be like, and whether children would feature as highly.

Just an observation.

(I'm not late 30's so can't contribute to the thread itself!)