Downstairs Neighbour works Nights: AIBU to make noise

[Bornean]

My downstairs neighbour works nights. They get home from work around 7am and then wake up at around 4pm. So they’re essentially nocturnal.

We live in a victorian terrace house, attic flat, upstairs flat and downstairs flat. She lives downstairs, I live upstairs. Bedroom is on top of her bedroom.

Apparently the noise insulation is awful, she can hear every foot step. We have carpet and thick underlay. We very rarely hear the attic flat above us. I can hear their work calls in the background sometimes, but if you want complete silence don’t live in the middle of leeds.

We keep getting noise complaints from downstairs. We have been asked not to make noise before 4pm as she is sleeping until then. So no washing machine, no hoover, no brushing floors. Apparently she can even hear it when we open and close our wardrobe doors.

We both rent. I’m starting to wonder if she is part of the reason the previous tenants lasted 6 months before moving on.

I used to be a nurse and did nights, so know what it’s like. You’re tired, grumpy, and just want to sleep. But equally if you choose to live in a flat in an old house in the city centre, it’s going to be noisy. I don’t really feel That comfortable in my own home now, incase just walking over the floor will annoy her. I’m also going to be working from
home soon, from the bedroom, so going to expect that will
disturb her.

No environmental health department is going to tell you not to use your hoover or open your wardrobe doors during normal office hours. You are just going about normal daily life. The fact that her particular circumstances mean she finds that inconvenient does not mean you are behaving unreasonably.

In our first flat we were on the middle floor of a conversion - never again. We had upstairs neighbours’ toddler rumbling along on a ride on toy (which we never complained about of course!) and our loopy downstairs neighbour whose bedroom was below our kitchen. She asked us not to put the washing machine on last thing at night which was reasonable and we never did once we realised the layout, but when she complained about us walking across the kitchen floor at 8pm on a Saturday night, we said no, we will not stop doing that!

She needs to move to somewhere more suitable for her work pattern. Carry on using your washer and dryer as you are

Agree with pp. she needs to manage her sleep and make adjustments. So long as you aren’t playing music full volume - you should carry on with your life regarding washing machine etc.
Dh and me have and do still do night shifts. It’s up to us to mitigate other peoples noise and manage sunlight etc. Although notice of things like building works would be nice so we can make plans - we wouldn’t expect neighbours to notify us, just expect them to keep noise between 8am and 9pm.

It is not remotely reasonable of your neighbour to demand that you do not do normal day time stuff like housework during the day. The fact that she works nights is not your problem (and neither is the lack of soundproofing in either of your properties, as you are both renting).

As you say, if she needs daytime silence then she shouldn't be renting a city centre flat, particular one that isn't on the top floor.

If you were playing loud music all day or jumping up and down on the floor during a workout every morning or operating an electric drill every day, that would be different. But you cannot be expected not to do ordinary daily chores like running your washing machine or sweeping floors, and she's mad if she thinks she can ask that of you.

Just tel them to call the council with a noise complaint in future and see what they have to say about it.
that’s what we did with our complaining neighbour and he never contacted us again f

No, that's ridiculous. She needs earplugs or noise cancelling headphones.

I worked nights till very recently and had the view that I was the one out of kilter with the rest of the world so it was on me to deal with it.
when the kids were young, yes I expected dh to manage their behaviour a bit if my sleep days fell on weekends, but school holidays etc I knew and accepted that I’d have v little sleep.
Your neighbour is being utterly ridiculous, and if it’s that bad for her she really does need to move

Surely the whole reason why night-shifts are often disliked - and thus paid at a higher rate accordingly - is because you have to fit in with a world that is mainly active in the daytime? Who on earth thinks that will be easy?

When taking a job that requires night working, you accept that part of the deal is having to try to sleep when everybody else is awake. If you're scared of heights, you don't get a job as a steeplejack; if you can't swim, you don't become a life guard; if you can't cope with an opposite 24-hour schedule to everybody else, you don't do a job that requires you to work nights.

It sounds like she is trying to get you to live as though you are also on a night-shift - the big difference being that you then have to do your job and daily tasks as well, whilst she is able to sleep! Earplugs would be the very obvious solution, or otherwise soundproofing her bedroom. She can't just try to make her employment decisions your problem.

I would be happy to make some compromise during the week, eg not running washing machine/dishwasher during those times
Normal living noises, walking about etc is her issue.

Also, I'm not a scientist, but don't baby sleep-training specialists advise not to make things too (unrealistically) quiet for them, so that they get used to being able to sleep through low-level everyday noise?

Maybe your neighbour needs to find a way to the adult equivalent of this, so that she doesn't have an unrealistic expectation of complete silence in order to be able to sleep in the daytime?

One of my best mates is a midwife and regularly works nights. When she was looking for a flat to rent, she only considered top floor flats as a result of this. Seems bonkers to live somewhere so ill-suited to your needs.

Fuck that, take up tap dancing.

You want silence because you work nights? Rent or buy better suited accommodation.

She's being unreasonable, and I say that as someone who lived in a converted ground floor flat for 5 years, so I do know what it's like.
If you were drilling, shouting or playing loud music every day then that would be different, but she can't expect you to put your life on hold just to suit her working pattern. My upstairs neighbours weren't the most considerate of people (arguing, shouting, banging) all day long but I never once complained, even when they use to walk/stomp around in the early hours of the morning (god knows when they ever slept!) however I never said anything. I did however complain when they blocked the drains every week and threw used sanitary pads in my garden.

Unfortunately it's one of the down sides to living in a flat. Thankfully I live in a semi now in a very quiet cul-de-sac, it's like a different world!

She is being very unreasonable, the world doesn’t revolve around her work patterns regardless of her job. She may not have a choice to live in a flat but she has a choice to not live in a ground floor flat (mobility issues aside) with poor sound insulation. I would just politely say you are not making excess noise and ignore her. If I was feeling really petty I might post some ear plugs through her letterbox. If she carries on I’d complain to her landlord. Yes as a society we need lots of night time workers but doesn’t mean we all have to live like mice to accommodate that.

I work nights. I don't expect anyone to keep quiet for me. She needs to buy some good ear plugs.

She's being unreasonable. You're not making anti social noise like shouting, speakerphone calls or loud music, you're wanting to do the normal things people do in their day like hoovering, using a dishwasher or washing machine and that sort of thing.

I used to work nights and would wear earplugs during my sleep period in the day.

I would spell this out to her.

Awkward for both of you. I can see both sides, but in the eyes of the law you aren’t doing anything wrong.

Yeah I don’t think she expect you to keep quiet all day because she works nights.

She needs to get some earplugs or noise cancelling headphones if she’s a light sleeper.

Do you have carpet or hard floors? Could your landlord put carpet down as this usually makes a huge difference.

I used to live above a very sensitive neighbour in a converted flat. I used to get back from work quite late by usual standards (into the evening, not midnight or anything) and she’d complain that I walked across the living room floor - you had to to get to our bedroom, but the living room was above her bedroom.

How utterly ridiculous. Write her a note saying you have worked nights and understand how important sleep is and if these don’t work maybe she needs to live in a detached house with thick walls (and include a box of earplugs with the note).

Could you swap.flats?

She’s making her issue your problem. Don’t give in to this entitled cheeky fucker.

😂🤣😂

Neighbor needs to move to somewhere where there's better sound insulation and live on the top floor because it's less disturbing when the noise comes from below.

I also did nights as a nurse. I used 100% noise blocking headphones which were connected to my phone so I would hear my alarm going off, you can get them with integral alarms so she can bugger off and buy herself a pair like everyone else does.

@RoomOfRequirement you don't think asking you to do your washing or hovering after 4 is a huge problem?
It’s mad. Particularly washing, which needs to be done early in if you want to hang it out to dry. She needs earplugs or white noise or something.