Downstairs Neighbour works Nights: AIBU to make noise

[Bornean]

My downstairs neighbour works nights. They get home from work around 7am and then wake up at around 4pm. So they’re essentially nocturnal.

We live in a victorian terrace house, attic flat, upstairs flat and downstairs flat. She lives downstairs, I live upstairs. Bedroom is on top of her bedroom.

Apparently the noise insulation is awful, she can hear every foot step. We have carpet and thick underlay. We very rarely hear the attic flat above us. I can hear their work calls in the background sometimes, but if you want complete silence don’t live in the middle of leeds.

We keep getting noise complaints from downstairs. We have been asked not to make noise before 4pm as she is sleeping until then. So no washing machine, no hoover, no brushing floors. Apparently she can even hear it when we open and close our wardrobe doors.

We both rent. I’m starting to wonder if she is part of the reason the previous tenants lasted 6 months before moving on.

I used to be a nurse and did nights, so know what it’s like. You’re tired, grumpy, and just want to sleep. But equally if you choose to live in a flat in an old house in the city centre, it’s going to be noisy. I don’t really feel That comfortable in my own home now, incase just walking over the floor will annoy her. I’m also going to be working from
home soon, from the bedroom, so going to expect that will
disturb her.

Fuck that. Buy get some ear plugs and tell her to do one

*her obv

If she doesn’t want to be woken up she needs to move! Sorry but you can’t change your whole lifestyle because of a neighbour.

Suggest buying earplugs and then ignore ignore ignore.

I've worked nights a lot over the years. Whilst some compromise would be reasonable she can't realistically expect you to do nothing in your house all day every day. She needs ear plugs or something. I'm quite lucky in that I can sleep through most things but even if not I wouldn't expect my neighbours to tip toe around me, they have their own lives to lead too.

It's unfortunate, but not your fault. Equally, til 4pm is quite dramatic. Fair enough evenings and mornings...

Can't she invest in earplugs?

She needs to manage her own sleep and get some earplugs. It's unreasonable to expect you to be silent during the main part of the day!

She has chosen to rent in a downstairs flat in a converted building rather than a purpose built block. It's not going to be as quiet as she would like during the day. I would be as considerate as you can within what would be considered normal usage of your flat.

Be polite but assertive. Her choice to work nights and also live in a downstairs flat is not your problem. You have the right to live a reasonable and relaxed lifestyle in your home, and you have no obligation to creep around quietly for her benefit. She should move to an attic flat where she has no upstairs neighbour. Even drilling and hammering noises are considered reasonable between 8am and 6pm (assuming that you have a genuine diy project rather than just doing it recreationally for the sake of making noise) so moaning about you walking across the floor, opening a wardrobe or running a washing machine is just ridiculous. She does not get to control your life like that.

There is a middle ground I think. I think most people who live in flats or terraces on city centres don’t necessarily have that much choice - most of us would love to live in large detached houses but that’s not an option for most of us. Having lived in flats and terraces, I am always conscious of not making too much noise and I appreciate that my neighbours do the same.

But, at the same time, we need get on with life. So, in your situation, perhaps not using a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the day but certainly going about your usual life.

Ultimately the problem is the very poor sound insulation in many flats and houses in the U.K. Much worse than other countries in my experience. I currently live in a terrace house, where noise can still be an issue, but I previously lived in a flat where I had a similar problem to you. In the end I moved as it was so stressful.

Why should the OP have to wait all day to vacuum? …. Whilst I’d be mindful of playing music too loud, there’s no way I’d not do my housework when I wanted to.

I also have worked nights in the past and i would never have complained to my neighbours- I used ear plugs, white noise and an eye mask and that was enough living in a paper thin walled terrace with dogs on one side and kids on the other. I also used to work in housing and all the noise you're describing would count as reasonable noise of living. So even though she's complaining to you, there's no one that would take that further or uphold her concerns because you aren't being excessively noisy and it's not at anti social times. If she comes back to you I'd just say that you're aware she works nights, you've done it yourself and you sympathise and you are conscious of her when going about your day but you also have the right to live in and enjoy your own home and you won't be taking any further complaints for her- you want to stay on good terms with her but there is nothing else you can reasonably do to reduce the noise of your daily life during daytime hours. Tell her to contact environmental health going forward and they'll let you know if they feel your noise levels are unreasonable but you won't be holding any further conversations with her about it. And then hold that boundry- if she brings it up again say we've discussed this and I've made myself very clear that I won't be engaging in further conversations about this. You can contact your local EHO. Then leave. She'll get the message pretty quickly and if she does ring environmental health they'll tell her she's being unreasonable. If she keeps up or it escalates then it could actually be you who takes it forward because of harassment but hopefully she'll settle down and it won't get to that stage.

This is such a tough one. I'm going against the grain though.

I wouldn't complain, but would also assume you're happy to have the doctors and nurses looking after you in the middle of the night sleep deprived and therefore happy to make mistakes which may affect you.

If we expect services available overnight I think as a society we have to accept allowing those people to sleep when we want to be noisy. I don't mean not being able to walk/talk/shower etc, but I don't think asking you to do your washing or hovering after 4 is a huge problem?

And I am sure she'd rather not live in a flat but unless we start giving a large deposit to night shift workers to afford a detached, sadly its what they're stuck doing.

Ultimately I think it's down to just being respectful of each other. She shouldn't complain if you're just walking or opening a wardrobe, and if you can do some of the noisier tasks later in the day, you could do that. It'd be the same as her making enough noise to wake you at 2am.

Normal life noise is not unreasonable. You can't tiptoe around in your own home scared of making a peep.
Lots of people work nights and have to find a way to get their sleep without pissing everyone else off

Tell her to get some eaeplugs!!

Not your problem she needs to move to a detached house.

As someone who also worked nights and needed sleep in the day, she is being unreasonable. When reading the title, I assumed you were referring to DIY work and whilst it is still unfair for you to stop, I would have a lot of sympathy for her.

However, for everyday noises like hoovering and washing, you cannot be expected to put it all on hold. She needs to look into a white noise machine and ear plugs like the rest of us that worked night shifts have done. Expecting you to stop life is completely unreasonable

Your neighbour is being completely ridiculous.

My DH used to be a milkman and worked 11pm to 7am.

He never expected me or neighbours to keep quiet while he slept (though I didn't do any hoovering upstairs while he was asleep cos I'm not a twat).

Your neighbour has chosen her location and all it implies.

Carry on as normal and tell her to get earplugs, change shifts or move.

Most people make noise during the day and sleep at night. Most people's life and work and washing and walking around (!!) happen when your neighbour is asleep. It's unfortunate that she's finding it hard to sleep in the daytime due to normal noise but it's not your problem. I think it's completely ridiculous to demand neighbours (the rest of the world) adapt their lifestyle and stop doing completely normal things to suit her. She needs to adapt her living arrangements and move somewhere else. Or buy some earplugs.

She's being unreasonable but how I responded to this would depend on how she has approached the issue.
Assuming she's been nice, I'd try and organise things so I did noisy stuff later on. But I wouldn't be scared to live in my own house - if the baby tipped crumbs all over the floor I'd still vacuum, I just would avoid doing routine vacuuming until she was awake if possible.
But if she was demanding and rude and kept on about every little noise, I'd do what was suggested above and tell her to take it up with environmental health and refuse to discuss.

If you have carpets and thick underlay, then she's already in a far better position than someone living below a flat with stripped floorboards or laminate, which are known for producing horrendous noise.

I do have some sympathy for her because the rental market is such that a lot of people just have to take what they can get these days. But she's BU and needs to invest in earplugs, a white noise machine, or look for somewhere else to live.

I can understand them asking you not to play Motorhead at 100 decibels, but not normal everyday noise like washing machines, hoover etc.

And I'm a nurse (no longer on shifts but have done) and live in a flat.

I contacted environmental health as my neighbours complaining was affecting my mental health. They told me that the noise level would have to be similar to them standing on the central reservation of a dual carriageway in order to have their complaint upheld.

she has chosen to live in unsuitable accommodation. It’s not your problem, it’s hers.

Having lived in such a flat before, I can tell you it is absolute hell. I had a near breakdown because of the noise and was on edge all day dreading the moment by upstairs neighbour came home. The sound just ate away at you, as whilst it was their normal living noise, it was impossible to relax in my own home.

The solution though was for us to move. We were tied in to a year’s tenancy so had to wait, but honestly, the noise would give me so much rage I lost all sense of rationality and was not a polite neighbour.

Noise is a real problem for so many of us in modern life so I sympathise with your neighbour in that it's not ideal.
Normal everyday noise is a given though. It's perfectly reasonable to run your washing machine and vacuum and go about your daily activities.
If you refrain from playing loud music during the day and stop your kids running around and screaming then you are a considerate neighbour.
If she has given you updates on her shift times and days off then so is she.

Tough shit for your neighbour. Suggest they buy earplugs or change their shifts.

Tell her to get some was earplugs, or move!
Cheeky cow.

Just to clarify, this was a house conversion so there was no sound insulation at all. Not sure why as even houses have better installation. I would hear every single noise they made. I would hear them talking, walking around, everything.

So whilst you are not unreasonable at all, constant noise can destroy you.