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Original poster

To never attempt another family trip, let alone a holiday

77 replies

ElfinsMum · 22/09/2022 07:43

Today is a public holiday here in Aus (a weird extra one on a Thursday for the queen).

I just attempted to take my 3 "D"C (11, 7, 2) to a local park. Nothing fancy, like 15 mins drive away. Interesting wildlife, nice nature playground. I packed water, biscuits, fruit. Choice of scooter and buggy for youngest. Thought I'd covered all the good mum bases.

Fuck me, it was MISERABLE. Each child took turns to whinge, claim illness, have a tantrum, be angry, get violent, cry on repeat. Oh and boss me around about how I was doing such a shit job and everyone was hating every minute of it ...soooooo much of that.

By the time we got home - after aborting the planned cafe at the end because things were getting really feral in the back seat and I couldn't face the humiliation - all of us were in tears.

This isn't how a short family trip to the park should be right? Are we somehow a fundamentally failed family? Why can't we enjoy a nice simple trip together??? And how the hell does anyone avoid turning into awful shouty mum under this kind of non stop torture?

Worst of all, we are booked to go to a family camping resort a VERY long drive away in a couple of weeks. How the fuck are we going to d this? The thought of it fills me with dread and it's meant to be a holiday.

OP posts:
Ihaveaquestionn · 22/09/2022 09:47

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Jesus Christ that is not very helpful

BlackeyedSusan · 22/09/2022 09:49

Ouch. Some nasty posts.
11 and 9 year old are probably hormonal. We used to compare notes on the school playground. They were vile some of them. (I was shocked hearing the stories of the older siblings but it prepared me for what was to come) And a toddler FFS.

Lots of snacks short trips. Don't attempt too much.

strawberryice90 · 22/09/2022 09:59

I've lost count of the times I've decided I'm never taking my children anywhere again because they've moaned the whole time. Then I realised I always planned for us to go places I thought would be fun without actually asking wether they would find it fun too.
Now I always ask first where they would like to go, if it's somewhere they are excited to go I find they don't moan. Having said that no matter what you do some days, kids, just like adults, just aren't feeling it or are in a bad mood. Don't beat yourself up, sounds like you are a lovely mum.
Is your DH going on the camping trip too? Always feels easier with an extra set of hands to handle the crazy 😂

Mariposista · 22/09/2022 10:02

The two oldest are way too old for such nonsense. Make sure there are consequences, remove their gadgets (if they have any - hopefully they don't) and say they can get them back when they are mature enough to behave appropriately. Oh and any plans they have with friends in the next week are cancelled - they clearly aren't mature enough to go.

Mariposista · 22/09/2022 10:06

Mariposista · 22/09/2022 10:02

The two oldest are way too old for such nonsense. Make sure there are consequences, remove their gadgets (if they have any - hopefully they don't) and say they can get them back when they are mature enough to behave appropriately. Oh and any plans they have with friends in the next week are cancelled - they clearly aren't mature enough to go.

oh, and their weekend will now be spent helping you with any jobs you need doing. And if they complain, so will the following weekend. It's time they learned that a nice day out is not the place for tears and whinging.

Pide · 22/09/2022 10:07

Take screens on holidays. Don’t feel guilty about that. Have no expectations.

Some of the worst family days we have had were the ones where I thought we were going to do something lovely and had put effort and thought into it. The best have sometimes been the completely unexpected ones where I haven’t put planning time (and money into it).

It is hard with multiple DC of varying ages, it only takes one to be having a bad day/mood and it can throw everyone. I find taking 3 out is so much harder than having 2 with me. It doesn’t matter which one is missing either - just something about taking it down to two DC that changes the whole dynamic and makes it easier.

Ski4130 · 22/09/2022 10:15

MumCanIDoThat · 22/09/2022 09:10

Your 11 and 7yo were extremely badly behaved, there would have been consequences for that behavior. What were their consequences?
Your 2yo is still young so I would be a bit more understanding. I have a 6yo and tbh he has never behaved like what you described. He is always given an opportunity to think if he wants to continue his behavior or deal with the consequences. He almost always immediately choses to change his attitude.

Trust me, I found it way easier to parent one child than three, it's all well and good saying what you’d do, when you only have to deal with one – OP has 3 kids of 3 different ages, it’s not always as easy, be kind. It can be like fighting fires when they all take it turns to go for it!

OP posters in the UK probably wont know that in Oz/New Zealand you’re in the hardest bit of the school year – the kids are knackered and heading full pelt towards Christmas and the long summer holidays, when we were in NZ we called this term the witching hour because it was full on and tiring for everyone concerned! Behaviour and tiredness always took a nose dive from Oct onwards :-)

Take it easy on yourself, if they’re generally polite and well behaved kids, you’re doing a good job and we all have sh*t days, despite what some posters on here would have you believe. I’ve got three (now 17, 15 & 12) who are now thankfully beyond the niggly day out scuppering ages, but I remember spending ages packing up to go to the pool/park/soft play/farm zoo, only to spend approx. 15 minutes there before dragging them all home because they’d been whingey/arguing/driving me nuts – it doesn’t make me a bad parent (though I felt like one at the time!) and they’re all decent, polite, well behaved kids and for the most part not whingey now!

callingoutrudeness · 22/09/2022 10:16

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Rude.

Textboxmm · 22/09/2022 10:24

Oh, don’t beat yourself up! I have 2 generally pleasant, well-behaved children but have had days out where I pictured us skipping trough meadows arm in arm chatting about nature which have turned into an absolute shit show of moaning, arguing and crying!
but on the other hand we’ve had some days out that turned out to be unexpected fun and delightful!!
take a deep breathe, re-group and don’t let the wee fuckers get you down!

ladybuggoldfinch · 22/09/2022 11:44

@YellowTreeHouse that's a nasty comment! What was the point of such a bitchy response

Blinkingheckythump · 22/09/2022 11:48

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Oh do piss off

Kids are humans with emotions and wants and desires just like us. But without the cognitive capability to understand them /process them/express them well. Some days are just bad days @ElfinsMum it doesn't mean all days are, or that you're a bad mum, or have bad kids

Naunet · 22/09/2022 11:59

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Mums aren’t perfect, it’s why yours managed to raise someone who thought the best approach to someone venting after a hard day, is to stick the boot in.

Imogensmumma · 22/09/2022 12:18

I’m in Aus too and a teacher, remember it’s also the end of term so kids are tired and feral needing a break. Plan a few home days with small outings at the start of the holidays

bendmeoverbackwards · 22/09/2022 12:21

Mariposista · 22/09/2022 10:02

The two oldest are way too old for such nonsense. Make sure there are consequences, remove their gadgets (if they have any - hopefully they don't) and say they can get them back when they are mature enough to behave appropriately. Oh and any plans they have with friends in the next week are cancelled - they clearly aren't mature enough to go.

Way too harsh! A 7 year old is not 'mature' and should not be treated as such. 7 is still quite young and learning how to behave, even the best behaved children don't always get it right.

yourestandingonmyneck · 22/09/2022 12:26

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Urgh, there's always one, and how awful when they manage to be the very first reply.

I'm sorry OP, no advice, but don't beat yourself up. It happens. Not to every mum and family obviously, there are a few who are just perfect Hmm, but to more of us than you would think.

Not every day is going to be a success....but equally, not every day will be as bad as today.

You'll be fine.

yourestandingonmyneck · 22/09/2022 12:36

Badger1970 · 22/09/2022 09:26

I remember one particularly horrific trip out with my 3 and bringing them home early to listen to them scrapping in the car the whole time. We got into the house and I shut myself away in the bedroom crying. And I stayed there as I just couldn't even look at them.
So for the rest of that school break, we stayed in. And the next. They kept asking to go out and I said "you must be joking, I'm not putting myself through that again thank you".
When we did venture out again, they were incredibly well behaved..............

@Badger1970 I sympathise, I'm kind of in that stage at the moment (ages 3 and 5).

But I find staying in with them just as bad as going out Sad so I don't know what to do

Interviewhelp12 · 22/09/2022 14:41

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Helpful. Also nonsense.

figmaofmyimagination · 22/09/2022 21:48

Naunet · 22/09/2022 11:59

Mums aren’t perfect, it’s why yours managed to raise someone who thought the best approach to someone venting after a hard day, is to stick the boot in.

Show quote history

This. Perfect.

EnlightenedSlug · 22/09/2022 21:50

@YellowTreeHouse have you met a 2 year old before?

2bazookas · 22/09/2022 22:00

You need to parent better. Don't allow the two older ones to treat you like shit.
Set up consequences and STICK TO THEM.
Removal of screens; no TV, sent to bedroom.

Letthekidsplay · 22/09/2022 22:10

YellowTreeHouse · 22/09/2022 07:44

So why have you raised children you don’t like?

They behave this way because you allow them to.

Wow - I’m guessing you don’t have many or any friends…..

ivykaty44 · 22/09/2022 22:15

Tomorrow ask the two older D.C. if they could write all their complaints about the trip on paper

then once they have done so tear them up and put in the bin

explain that days out are supposed to be enjoyable - so they can prepare the next day trip out - but warn them, you may whinge if they don’t get it perfect 😂

SD1978 · 22/09/2022 22:22

I've learnt to lower my expectations. Doesn't mean I'll tolerate shitty behaviour, but also understand that the 'fun' activity that I've planned was my choice, not hers. So I don't expect excitement and effusive gratitude, but I do expect basic behaviour to be maintained. Has vastly improved things!

Letthekidsplay · 22/09/2022 22:22

MsTSwift · 22/09/2022 07:47

We were quite firm from the start neither of us can bear to be around whiny Verruca salt kids.

I be your kids appreciate the empathy and kindness they’ve been raised with. I’m sure you have perfect little angels who never put a foot wrong - while you’re looking….

Stopsnowing · 22/09/2022 22:22

I increasingly hate going on holiday with my kids

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