So I've been with my partner a LONG time, we are getting married next year. It was my birthday last week and we had plans to spend the morning together and he had planned to buy me flowers on the way over apparently- I only know this due to a flippant comment he made about how he's glad he didn't buy them on the Sunday. But on my birthday morning he tested positive for COVID and did his isolation- came over when was over, no card no flowers no nothing. Same today again. Not even acknowledging it - I mentioned tonight how I only got 1 card and he replied saying he didn't see the point in getting a card etc a few days after as was pointless cuz it was over.
Its actually really upset me and I have no idea why. Am I being unreasonable?
AIBU?
Fiance didn't even get a card for birthday
mummabear34 · 21/09/2022 23:00
Pixiedust1234 · 21/09/2022 23:47
ummm... I can understand about not buying flowers until the day as he might have wanted them as fresh as possible but surely he would have bought and signed the card prior? In which case it would have been a bigger waste to throw it in the bin.
Op - are you sure he actually had covid and wasn't using it as a get out excuse? I would look at my relationship carefully now, the disrespect will only get worse but you will be blamed for being needy and unreasonable. Its insidious.
Aquamarine1029 · 21/09/2022 23:56
Wait... You've been together a "LONG" time, have kids, and still don't live together?
Loachworks · 21/09/2022 23:52
Having COVID was no excuse. I once ordered flowers for DM 300 miles away from my hospital bed in ICU. There is no excuse. What did he do last year?
QS90 · 21/09/2022 23:57
You certainly shouldn't have to remind your loved ones to treat you with respect and niceness - your fiance in particular should WANT to fuss you on your birthday imo! If it were me I'd take myself out somewhere lovely for a treat. Maybe a spa? Get your OH to babysit to make up for being so thoughtless. Your birthday week can still improve!! Xx
Kitkatcatflap · 22/09/2022 00:02
I agree with the poster above. If you care about someone and you know they enjoy birthdays - then surely you want to make a fuss because they enjoy it. It's not about expensive gifts, it's about care and thought and making them feel special. The 'I don't like cards, birthdays' brigade will pipe up but it's not about them. And OP says she makes an effort on his birthday.
You are not even married yet - are you prepared for a lifetime of this OP?
mummabear34 · 21/09/2022 23:50
Thanks for everyone agreeing with me. To me I've never really gotten spoilt or made a fuss off - my mum only got me a gift this year cuz I pulled her on the fact I was still waiting for her taking me to buy a new charm from last years birthday and had to tell her exactly what I wanted. The kids are too young to go buy something from them and no-one ever thinks to get me something from the kids so the fact that it's the first birthday after we get engaged that he would have had at least went snd got me a 3 quid bunchn of half dead flowers from garage as a token from himself even a week later.
I always make effort when comes to his so thought it was a bit rubbish.
I had the crappest birthday ever. 1 card and 1 gift - had to buy my own cake and it might as well have been like a normal Monday as was doing school runs andnfood shopping and nobody came to visit either.
We aren't living together yet so his isolation was done in his house xx
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