To think these comments left by my gp were rude

[Ispy9]

This isn’t really relevant anymore as I am in a much better place now than I was but I’m still quite annoyed about it. A year ago I was suffering quite badly with anxiety and depression so I went and saw my GP about it.

I recently downloaded the NHS App and I thought I’d have a look through my notes. I saw that on the appointment about my mental health my GP had wrote these notes.

‘Examination: Not sleeping, not looking after herself. Unkempt, looking down, shoulders hunched, not wearing a bra, hair not brushed’

aibu to think these comments on my file are quite rude?

Thank-you so much for asking, gnilliwdog, I am much better these days. I hope you are too?

Yes, much of my frantic efforts to appear presentable were down to utter self-loathing and a hatred for how I looked. I’m in a lot healthier place now, thank goodness.

I would really hate to look at mine. I had to go for antidepressants because I felt like I was going crazy, as though my life wasn't what I thought it was. Turns out my husband was having an affair and the doctor knew about it. He prescribed me antidepressants for years and when I told him I'd found out what had happened (I no longer needed anti depressants) he told me he knew. I could never forgive him for that and I switched doctors. I do know that he couldn't tell me but I wish he hadn't told me he knew.

It's usually pretty obvious!

The bra comment is not necessarily odd at all. Have you seen this GP before? Do you usually wear a bra? or keep your jacket on? If you not wearing a bra is a change in behaviour is worth noting.

😂that would probably have given the GP PTSD, to be fair..

I don’t know why so many people are focusing in on the bra comment.

I think it’s relevant as the no bra look can look a bit “I just rolled out of bed” (unless they’re particularly perky). So the lack of bra might have contributed to an overall look of being unkempt.

I am so glad you are in a better place. It feels like the only solution at the time, but so many years have passed and I'm so grateful to have stayed here and been blessed, in many ways. It's been a hard journey but I do feel mostly content these days. Wishing you continued healing.

Were they true? That’s what matters. If it’s lies then fair enough but if true then I’m with gp

You don't think it's creepy to stare at a patient's breasts for long enough to decipher whether or not they're wearing an optional item of clothing, and then to type up in their permanent record your observation of their breasts when their presenting issue had nothing to do with their breasts?

You can work out whether someone is or is not wearing a bra quite easily without staring at their breasts.

lemonyanus
Oh god I dread to think what my GP notes read like, that's how I look on a normal day
I thought this too!

You do notice things about patients though, there’s a basic level of self care we all do without thinking but when a human being decides not to for any reason it’s a red flag to us. It’s the contrast from normal that stands out.

Ps op I would guess though that they would see it all as a sign of not caring for yourself and have noticed after mh issues myself that I did let everything slide

I don’t think you need to stare at someone’s boobs to tell if they’re wearing a bra or not? With most people you can tell if they’re wearing a bra in about half a second?

I’m not sure why you’re insinuating that the doctor is some sort of perv just because they’ve noted the patient had no bra on. I mean it would be strange if the notes said something along the lines of “Patient presented with a verruca and had no bra on”; it’s much less strange when it’s mentioned as part of a list of comments about the patient’s appearance as a potential indicator of a mental health issue.

Interesting... Tbh, maybe a previous GP of mine then was in the midst of a mental health crisis. Her dress sense was severely off, and her hair didn't look the best. I didn't judge her though, and took her to professional advice seriously. Perhaps I shouldn't have? Or is it only patients who have bad hair/ nothing clean and ironed which match days?

I think the GP may be prompted to write something about appearance - it's a clue to how you're coping. Mine had written that he thought I was depressed ( I was) and despite me "presenting well" he prescribed counselling and anti-depressants

The bra comment is inappropriate because it's implying that wearing a bra is the norm, i.e. the OP usually wears a bra but wasn't wearing one that day. If that had been a fact, then it might be different. But the issue is, did the GP know for a fact that the OP would wear a bra on a normal day? Plenty of women don't wear bras, and I'm sure that number must've increased since the pandemic started. Some women don't wear them for political reasons, some women believe they're unhealthy, or don't feel they need one, and various other reasons. Nobody has to wear a bra, and remarking that someone isn't wearing one is imposing a cultural norm on someone who might never have conformed to it in the first place. It's kind of like a sexual health practitioner saying you're "ungroomed" because you haven't shaved your pubic hair - that is a matter of culturally-influenced opinion on how women should present their bodies, rather than a fact of someone's mental health.

I had to go into hospital when my back went. Was wearing pj bottoms, ugg boots (the paramedic put them on for me and a t shirt
Wouldn't have been so bad but it was a gym t shirt that said "hard. Fast. No cuddling after"

You’re definitely overthinking this.

If they were not the facts then it would be rude, inappropriate, inaccurate etc

If they were factual, then 10/10 to your gp.

I'm not a doc but completed assessments and about 50% of the people were often upset but could not deny that my report was factual and accurate - those that were upset were always the ones that I'd rejected for certain help.

You’re definitely overthinking this.

I'm not overthinking it at all. I mean, what if my GP had said she thought I was in a bad mental state because I wasn't wearing makeup? I haven't worn makeup since I was a teenager, I don't even own any and that is my choice. I can well imagine a doctor making a comment that I was "ungroomed" because of my lack of makeup, even though that's actually a normal day for me. It's a real issue, it's not overthinking, and I can remember at least one post in the past on here where a young sexual health nurse had commented on someone not having groomed their pubic hair as if that was a problem.

@tectonicplates I agree. There is a set of assumptions at play regarding normal femininity and presentation.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what's written, except for mentioning your bra. I don't see what that's got to do with anything!