The swishy blonde ponytail mums and others

[Doeshethinkhesinpeakyblinders]

Just started school run for the first time with my dc, interesting to observe the different mums.
The type of mum I want to be the most is one of the bouncy, swishy blonde ponytails ones wearing gym gear. I also saw the well put together, professional ones in the suits…perfect make up and jewellery..reeking of class and top organisational skills.
Then we have the mums with more than one, usually juggling the bags with the tiny baby or errant toddler, slightly stressy looking or just gone-completely dead tired.
As it happens I’m the fairly inconspicuous one who shuffles past-jeans and converse, never really late but almost always just about to be…one dc but still fairly stressy, not bouncy, not well polished…but off home to clean up dog poo.

Which are you?

None of the above

Im the one with the super wizzy professional well paid job who is a solid size 14, dressed messily, unwashed hair shoved back

I’m the breadwinner mum who works really sporadic hours so everyone thinks I’m a SAHM which annoys the shit out of me, has a swishy pony tail and gym gear but wears it even when she’s not going to the gym, drives a deeply inappropriate car, rides a skateboard and wears obnoxiously enormous shades so she doesn’t have to talk to anyone at the school gate. Ever. No one.

I’m not a cutesy mum stereotype OP.

I actively despise people with swishy blonde ponytails, sorry if that’s you.

I’m the pot-smoking, super organised PTA committee member SAHM who looks either like total mess or pretty on point given the day, dragging an assortment of other people/ dogs/ causes behind me.

I envy anyone with a swishy ponytail, mine never swishes to the extent I wish for it to swish

Get an undercut it'll never stop swishing!

I was the Invisible Mum because on the rare occasions I was able to do the school run the children would hiss, "Stay in the car, Mum, you're wearing trainers with a skirt and it's embarrassing."

If it makes you feel any better, I did the school journey (10 minute walk) today with cat wee all down my jumper. No idea till I got home.

I actively despise people with swishy blonde ponytails, sorry if that’s you.

Seems normal

Tbh you sound much more my type OP.

The one time I showed up straight from the office rather than in my wfh gear the (lovely) after school club lady went "Ooh, you look smart!" 😂

I'm the kids do 1000 activities mum so I'm usually rushing to get to swimming, rainbows, gymnastics, trampolining, martial arts, science club, football club.

I'm chats shit and drips sarcasm mum that always knows what's going on.

I'm the not here to make friends so I don't bother with the weird mum's mum.

I'm the fun mum on my scooter and the taking kids to the park with sweeties after school mum.

I'm the mum that's spent the last few years falling apart and is putting herself back together so is confident and comfortable in herself.

I think I'm a bit of all of them, depends on the day. I need to add another category which I fit into most, outdoorsy Mum often found wearing Beghaus, Merrells, Rab etc

I'm baby no2 mum who is also professional and also goes to the gym.
But I'm pretty scruffy and fat and not blonde so you wouldn't know.

OP are you writing a terrible chick lit book. I'm the one who's never there. Like many mothers I have a job so it's the childminder, granny or someone else who drops off.
FWIW on the odd day I'm in school I'm the dishevelled scruff with a highly paid career hope that helps!

I’m the normal human person who doesn’t fit in a box I’m afraid.
somedays I’m in sports kit either back from or On the way to some attempt some exercise ( no pony tail though), I also have a well paid professional job, so often that has me dressed up for the train, or I’m on Zoom all day.
frequently I am dead tired but I am also incredibly organised.
Oh and DP does 50% of the school runs anyway, but also isn’t a ‘type’ I’m afraid - except for the blonde ponytail that is.

I’m the one who is heavily pregnant with 3 kids in tow, the eldest of which is the only one who goes to school 😂. I would love to be bouncy, shiny, gym gear and pony tail mum. I heavily suspect that in a few weeks when new baby is here I will be the very very late, stressed one 😂

The ponytail, gym gear mums do stand out to me though as they look so happy and bouncy

Of course they look happy, they spend their days going to the gym and meeting friends
for lunch.

I’m the last one 😅

I was the mum who was a single parent, working full time and studying.

I would throw on my second hand clothes that I was constantly sewing up and shoving my make up on/hair up to try and make myself feel better.

Most mornings I cried because I was stressed or running late.

I avoided most of the mums because they always looked way more together than I was and I felt they looked down on me.

It was a couple years after my DD finished primary that I found out I was referred to as the glamorous one and that other mums felt inferior because I always made myself up nice.

People also said that they were envious of how easily I juggled everything when they were doing less than me but still struggling.

Looks can be very deceiving.

I felt the same way about these mums as they did about me and I wish I knew that back then.

The one who puts them in breakfast club so avoids the school gate snap judgement...

I am a baby mumma!

Are you a low-rent Zoe Williams wannabe, trying to think up “copy” ?

What are the last 3 things? Brands of clothing or the names of your children?

Nobody sees me because I pick up from after school club every day. So they can base any assumptions on me about job I'm never there rather than how I look!

‘I too want to be ‘swishy pony-tail and gym’ mum. I’m actually ‘leave for work too early to take my kids to school’ mum so no-one knows what I look like’

^
LOL me too

Yep. What about the dads OP? Let's stop making the drop offs and pick ups all about mums, you're just feeding the stereotype and everyday sexism.