Starting to look old and feel rubbish

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Started to feel quite down on myself. Obviously ageing happens to us all, but I literally NEVER look in the mirror and feel like I look good anymore. I'm 40s. I see lines around my eyes and I can even see the beginnings of a turkey neck (which my Mum has). My mum hasn't aged very well in comparison to her friends of a similar age and so I'm guessing I might be the same. My confidence is so rubbish now feeling like I look old and ugly, I hardly ever want to go out. I'm happily married and DH thinks I'm bonkers, but it's just how I feel. Is anyone else like this or AIBU

I have the exact same problem with my neck OP, it looks 20 years older than my face. No cream will significantly tighten the skin, just improve the texture of the outer dermis. I have a regime of LED light, radio frequency, tret, NIOD NEC, etc. I'm hoping for some improvement but I'm not expecting miracles.

I hear you! 43 here and the ageing process seems to have accelerated since turning 40. It's hard not to feel depressed about it...but as others have pointed out, in ten years time I'll look back and wish I looked this young...

I could have written this yesterday after getting a shock in the Next changing rooms....what is it about the lighting in there and the mirrors all around. I came out feeling awful and bought nothing. Even my hair looked fine and frizzy at the back. I felt deflated and need to give myself a shake.

OP,
Aging is a privilege but looking older can take adjusting to.

You need to take skincare seriously.

Start taking a skin, hair and nails supplement, you will see the benefits within a few months.

Get serious about serums which are great moisturisers and look into good budget options.

Start looking after yourself and prioritising doing things that help you feel better.

Cleanse at night and slap on the creams.
Use a face mask regularly.

I use a face roller which has little needles and it stimulates collagen production.

I use it at night and then slap on the serums, oils, you name it.

I'm nearly 60 and my skin is very good.
But I look after it.

Everything you do for your skin during one decade, you will see in the next.

Remember your SPF too!

I remember my friend telling me when I turned 40, that the difference between 40-45 would be huge, so to really up my skincare game.

It need not be expensive.
Do your research.

Painful?

I'm sure I'll get shouted down, but why live with something that makes you unhappy when there is a solution?

Dsis felt like you recently and went for Botox, and she is thrilled with the results (she did a lot of research to find a good clinic with subtle results, so she looks very natural)

I'm not quite there yet, but I'll certainly be doing it when I feel too wrinkly!

Completely agree.

My friend is an orthodontist and she said Covid has brought her already busy practice a huge new cohort of patients wanting their teeth done due to Teams.
Ditto another Dermatology surgeon friend.
I think the whole close up camera thing at WFH has been a dose for many.

There are some good YouTube tutorials about it I believe.

I don't look in the mirror a fraction of what I used to. I have brutal daylight in my ensuite, which definitely can be jarring😱😁

Today is the youngest you'll be for the rest of your life so enjoy it and try to see ageing as a natural process in the circle of life.🌈💐

On a positive note ,as I got older I no longer had to endure random men staring at my boobs while talking to me and I am taken more seriously at work .

I think you should do whatever you want to “improve “ how you look.

However, it’s possibly worth noting that once you get to the point where you’re so worried about looking old, you’re probably “invisible” anyway 😂

I am mid fifties and take care of my skin, don’t drink or smoke, but beyond that, I just avoid mirrors. I have a medical condition that makes me look younger than I am, but even that only goes so far!!!

I think I might have undiagnosed body dysmorphia and ageing is playing havoc with my mental health at the moment. I’m convinced I look like a drab, frumpy flabby faced turkey necked swamp witch. DH disagrees but it’s not as if he can actually agree with me can he? I’m going to live in a hole in the ground like a hobbit.

A few years ago a mum friend was returning to work and paid to have a stylist help her with a make over.

She was a shopping/wardrobe stylist.
She got her hair done, new makeup, bought a few new outfits. She showed her what she should be wearing for her age, body type etc.

She said she threw out half her wardrobe, added some new pieces.

All in all it gave her a real lift heading for 50.
Looking out for recommendations of a stylist might be an excellent long term investment in yourself.

Try collagen powder/ tablets. Our family gave them to our very elderly relative and in a few weeks they got a lovely full silky head of hair again and some deep facial lines plumped up. Other relatives benefited from stimulated hair growth and plumper skin but it takes about three months and it’s quite expensive.

I'm in my sixties and was never a 'looker'. A big nose, round face and lack of chin made me look like a bowling ball with a handle. I've aged appropriately, gone grey and have wrinkles, but I no longer feel that pressure to be beautiful and it's wonderful. I try to smile a lot and sleep a lot, and as long as I'm still fit and active, I'll take that!