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Original poster

When did you know you were ready for baby no2?

38 replies

Glitterbaba · 20/09/2022 15:22

Since the day DS was born 11 months ago I have wanted another baby .I am still desperately broody and think of baby no2 each day.

I promised myself I’d lose pregnancy weight , get back to work and then evaluate if I was still broody when DS was 1.
Im back at work ( hate it !) and lost the 4 stone (just !) and I’m still desperate for another baby .

When did you know you were ready for baby 2 ?

The only reason I’m hesitant about baby 2 on hold is I am worried about my new employers reaction , worry about being pregnant whilst having a toddler and know 2 under 2 will cost a lot at nursery ! But really I don’t think these problems will lessen if I wait 6 more months!!! Or another year .

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 20/09/2022 15:23

Ibknew i didn't want to be at home with 2, so earliest would be when DD was going to school, so gave me 4yrs to justvenjoy DD before making a decision whether to have a 2nd or not

Clicheinaqashqai · 20/09/2022 15:27

We waited until DS was 2 before ttc, so that his nursery funded hours would kick in when on mat leave. Couldn't handle vith all day everyday and wanted some time just with baby no.2 but we couldn't have afforded nursery whilst on mat leave or 2 full sets of fees.

Age gap is purely practical and our plan worked perfectly with DD born 3 weeks after DS's funding started in January!

Chuckiegg · 20/09/2022 15:27

We based it on the age gap we wanted between them and luckily got pregnant at the time we wanted.

89redballoons · 20/09/2022 15:29

It was when DS1 started sleeping through the night reliably, which was also when I stopped breastfeeding. He was 17 months.

Stopping breastfeeding seemed to make me super fertile, as I fell pregnant with DS2 quicker than expected. They have 2 years and 3 months between them.

RonObvious · 20/09/2022 15:29

I planned nothing. Just wanted another baby, so we started trying and I was fortunate enough to get pregnant straight away. No regrets.

Original poster
Glitterbaba · 20/09/2022 15:41

Clicheinaqashqai · 20/09/2022 15:27

We waited until DS was 2 before ttc, so that his nursery funded hours would kick in when on mat leave. Couldn't handle vith all day everyday and wanted some time just with baby no.2 but we couldn't have afforded nursery whilst on mat leave or 2 full sets of fees.

Age gap is purely practical and our plan worked perfectly with DD born 3 weeks after DS's funding started in January!

Congrats on baby 2!!!

On my sensible days , I tell myself to wait until DS is 2 so his free hours will kick in during my maternity leave . Especially as he is enjoying nursery so far and I’d feel awful taking him out of nursery .

I just am so broody I don’t know how on earth I could wait a year before trying . But i need to think seriously if it would be fair for DS to have to stop nursery once I was on maternity as we couldn’t afford to send him if I was off on maternity .

OP posts:
SallyWD · 20/09/2022 15:45

My firstborn was a nightmare baby but by 18 months she was really cute and fun so I was more open to the idea of having another. Also I was 37 so couldn't delay. My first is 2 years, 3 months older than my second.

stormelf · 20/09/2022 15:51

I decided to be a sahm after first child, not my original plan at all but was best for us under the circumstances. I didn't want a huge gap between children which would mean even longer time out of the workplace. Our ideal gap was 2 years, luckily it's worked out like that, DD was 2 years 2 months when DS was born and when my third came along DS was 3 weeks shy of 2 years old. I love having them all so close together

mightbeyesmightbeno · 20/09/2022 15:55

To be honest it sounds like you already know you want number 2, so I'd just say go for it! My convoy consideration would be like you said about stopping your DS nursery if he enjoys it. I have a DD age 2years 4 months, and her funding won't start until she is 3 years and 3 months (as she is a June baby and funding starts at the next term after they are 3 so have to wait until September). But we decided we wanted another, I've got baby no.2 due in 2 weeks so there will be just under a year overlap of me being on mat leave and having to fund her childcare space. I won't be stopping her because she enjoys it, but I have shortened the hours a bit, and it does actually all add up by cutting it by 2 hours a day. You will get 6 weeks of 90% pay (if in the UK), so for me it takes it down to about 9 months of overlap on reduced wages and we're just going to tighten the belts to keep her going x

Clicheinaqashqai · 20/09/2022 15:57

@Glitterbaba Thanks! We struggled a bit to wait and covid also played a part, but ultimately now I'm on mat leave I'm so glad we planned it this way.

I found the broodyness did wane a little once I fully got back in to the swing of things at work. Toddlers are really hard work so that's also a distraction 😂

Sophfreddie · 20/09/2022 16:21

Mines only 5 months old.. I already want another 🤦‍♀️
Realistically, I'm breastfeeding and will continue to do this aslong as I can (or want too), I also feel ill have to do a year at work just because 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I'm hoping for a 2 year gap x

Original poster
Glitterbaba · 20/09/2022 17:00

Your comment made me laugh as I also feel I should do a year at work!!! I feel guilty if not ! I feel if I work 6 months and then start trying -
i would have been at my new job 9 months minimum before I told them ! It might take a while for me to conceive ! But I’m sure even if after I tell them after a year they might not be impressed !!!! But !

OP posts:
Original poster
Glitterbaba · 20/09/2022 17:00

Sophfreddie · 20/09/2022 16:21

Mines only 5 months old.. I already want another 🤦‍♀️
Realistically, I'm breastfeeding and will continue to do this aslong as I can (or want too), I also feel ill have to do a year at work just because 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I'm hoping for a 2 year gap x

Your comment made me laugh as I also feel I should do a year at work!!! I feel guilty if not ! I feel if I work 6 months and then start trying -
i would have been at my new job 9 months minimum before I told them ! It might take a while for me to conceive ! But I’m sure even if after I tell them after a year they might not be impressed !!!! But !

OP posts:
wannabeamummysobad · 20/09/2022 17:02

Sophfreddie · 20/09/2022 16:21

Mines only 5 months old.. I already want another 🤦‍♀️
Realistically, I'm breastfeeding and will continue to do this aslong as I can (or want too), I also feel ill have to do a year at work just because 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I'm hoping for a 2 year gap x

Exactly the same.

DD is a terrible sleeper but it hasn't put me off. We're intending on TTC when I return to work next year (need to get that enhanced mat pay again) . Hopefully DC will arrive around Dec 23 . We got pregnant our first cycle with DD so hopefully the same will happen with DC2.

Fees are high but getting older so don't want to mess about.

wannabeamummysobad · 20/09/2022 17:06

@Glitterbaba why the 1year milestone?

I figure I've worked FT since graduating 15 years ago. I worked PT since 16 years old and throughout tertiary education. I've paid into the proverbial pot for half my life so feel not an ounce of guilt if we are lucky enough to conceive DC2 quickly .

Mammyloveswine · 20/09/2022 18:38

Baby number 2 let me know! He was a surprise as number 1 was only 1 and id wanted a 3 year age gap!

Pyewhacket · 20/09/2022 18:42

Mammyloveswine · 20/09/2022 18:38

Baby number 2 let me know! He was a surprise as number 1 was only 1 and id wanted a 3 year age gap!

Me too. I had three. First was 9 months after my honeymoon and the other two followed with 2-year gap each time. That was enough for me so I was sterilized at 28.

ILoveMonday · 20/09/2022 18:43

Sometimes you don't know and it just happens. We were planning on 2 years difference. Took ages to get pregnant with DC1 so didn't really take contraception to seriously as anticipated problems. 16 months later. I was as ready as I needed to be.

BatshitBanshee · 20/09/2022 18:50

Pregnant with my second now, DD will be 23mths when baby is born, all going well. I'll let you know when I feel like I'm ready 😂wasnt planned for right now but we knew we didn't want more than a two year gap between kids so... Big picture it's going to plan 🤣

qpmz · 20/09/2022 18:58

This is obviously not a passing whim so go for it! Many wouldn't as they're recovering from birth/sleep deprivation/PND but it sounds like your not one of them and are ready for round 2!

Ginger1982 · 20/09/2022 19:05

As someone who wanted two and wasn't able to conceive a second, I say start as soon as possible in case it takes some time.

Isonthecase · 20/09/2022 19:17

I went for the incredibly spontaneous option of a full spreadsheet of expected income and outgoings to retirement for various age gaps and picking the option that worked best for us of about 3 years. It's pretty much the most affordable gap for childcare and university, plus you shouldn't have to deal with GCSEs and a levels at the same time. Trick is to not have an unexpected 3rd 2 years later so you get the joy of those and uni finals overlapping, plus the 2 at nursery lasting longer.

Sally7645 · 20/09/2022 19:41

We decided to start casually trying and fell immediately pregnant with number 2.

There's 2 years exactly between mine and the only regret I have is that the three year wait for the second lot of nursery funded hours has been long! Our nursery bills are very high but also love the small gap between them so on balance it's been worth it

If time is on your side then perhaps considering aiming to fall pregnant when your first child is 2/2.5 if nursery fees are a consideration for you

Numbat2022 · 20/09/2022 19:46

Can you actually afford nursery fees with two? I wouldn't be taking a two year old that loves nursery out when you also have a newborn, that sounds like a recipe for tantrums and way too much work.

Most people I know who had two started trying when their free hours were in sight. The only one I know who did it sooner is a SAHM and minted.

Mary46 · 20/09/2022 20:10

Dont worry re work op we all just a number!! I didnt want 2 in nappies so had a gap. But we all different. I had one in school so a bit time with 1.