Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That I have a lump in my throat more for the class system than the funeral

325 replies

JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 19:53

Sat here with a lump in my throat after watching the funeral but I think it's more to do with realising just how unfair life is and what a lottery life can be.

A lot of people in this country are living on the breadline, children are born into poverty, using food banks, lots of homeless, children moving into hotels whilst their parents wait for a house and so much more. Now this is not a thread to bash the royal family as people but I can't help but feel a bit down at the fact that a lot of their lives are luck - luck to be born into a life of privilege or luck of marrying into it.

Now I'm not saying it's easy to be a royal but I know if I had a choice of choosing to be a person born into privilege with the risk of press following me or another person who is living in a tiny flat or house, struggling to pay bills and having to use food banks whilst working a minimum wage job, I know which one I'd choose.

Not really sure what the aim of this thread is but maybe other people had similar feelings from the funeral?

OP posts:
Chattycathydoll · 19/09/2022 22:05

VioletCharlotte · 19/09/2022 22:00

I was thinking the opposite actually. I can't imagine having to live my life having my every move scrutinised by the media, being watched by the entire world while grieving for my mother. Yes, they are born into a life of wealth, but they don't have the privilege of the freedom most of take for granted.

Isn’t that also why it needs to be abolished?

That was my duality of thought around princess Charlotte and the blessing.

My DD at that moment was dropping jam down her front. While Charlotte was being blessed.

If they could just be two normal 7y/o girls in a park together, I bet they’d have a whale of a time, as DD does with almost any other 7y/o girl she meets. Instead, one has to be prim and proper and trotted out to be stared at. Not spilling jam. Or running in the park, dangling upside down off the mini monkey bars.

And at the same time, that one preserved specimen of a child will never want for luxury, while my DD’s first memory of Christmas was the time we went to the kids Christmas party funded by the local food bank.

The wealth and class disparity in this country is shameful anyway, but they’re figureheads that represent it, and it hurts everyone. They’re the symbol of an old system where accident of birth decides so much of fate. We can’t erase a centuries old culture but we can make steps to something better. Hard to do with them a visible representation of how it harms us all and is integrated into society.

connie26 · 19/09/2022 22:07

No, I'm not sure what the aim of your post is either op. I'm sure you live a life of privilege too compared to many people?

theworldhas · 19/09/2022 22:08

@EmpressoftheMundane
The UK economy is worth £2.2 trillion. The amount the royals “bring in” - if anything - is absolutely paltry in relative terms. But as a symbol of privilege, anti-meritocracy, extremely poor British social mobility, deference to unearned authority (including by our kowtowing media and national broadcaster which has totally failed in its duty to provide balance), and being stuck in awe of empire long gone rather than looking to the new - the Royals are priceless. I guess perhaps that is what many get that you don’t.

greenhousegal · 19/09/2022 22:09

If Charles has any brains in his head he will downsize the Coronation hugely. Anyway I don't think a spectacle like that will be as popular as some might think.

The funeral of HMQ was an incredible spectacle of everything Britain does best, the military precision, reverence, music, the works. But it had to be, the Queen deserved to be dispatched with dignity and ritual.

There is a choice WRT the Coronation though. Instead of being a medieval like pageant for the peasants to drool over, it should be done quietly and with as little fuss as possible, while still observing protocol and history and all that. There is no need to rub people's faces into this very costly ritual. He is King already, the coronation is just an excuse to copperfasten the divine right of Kings over the peasants.

Times are changing though. There was huge respect for HMQ and the press held off. I am not so sure they will keep the bodies buried (sorry on this day but..) and may just take the lid off some stories that they have kept hidden up to now. I think Charles may be in for a rough ride sooner than he thinks. Indifference and apathy may be more dangerous to the RF than outright rebellion in the end.

Then again I could be totally wrong of course!

;

Greywhippet · 19/09/2022 22:11

OP you are spot on. The whole concept of monarchy, aristocracy etc is just disgusting

Penguinsaregreat · 19/09/2022 22:11

The thing I find bizarre is that it is a total accident of birth and even more so whether the king, or future king, happened to be married to the mother. I read up on the monarch before Queen Victoria, William vi. He lived with a woman and had 10 children with her but because he wasn’t married to her and never could be, not one of those children was heir to the throne.
Those children then lived a relatively poor life when he was persuaded to marry a ‘suitable’ woman.
The wealth is kept between the wealthy. It’s the same with internships. Only the rich can afford this unfair advantage.
I have to say I would not want the life of a major royal though. The press have a lot to answer for. They have routinely tried to crucify many a poor soul.

MummyGummy · 19/09/2022 22:12

Linzi8 · 19/09/2022 21:58

It isn't fate though? You aren't a lottery brought to right womb? I don't understand this way of thinking. I was born into poverty and abuse but if I hadn't been born into that I wouldn't have been born into anything. Everyone posting their own thoughts on this forum has privilege that some people in this world will never know. In my life I have seen the the worst of humanity and the best of it. I don't focus on the worst I try to make a difference and that's good enough for me. Getting upset that someone out there is born into the right family, and feeling sad that it isn't me (because this is what this thread is essentially about), is actually quite destructive, and I refuse to buy into that type of victimhood if I'm honest.

This 100%. Feel bad about all the children born to parents who neglect and abuse them, not the few lucky ones who have wealth and privilege.

Ilovewhippets · 19/09/2022 22:13

Just 22% of Britons want to hold a referendum on the monarchy, with almost three times as many (64%) opposed.

But even if there was a referendum and the vote was in favour of keeping the Royal Family, those opposed wouldn’t accept it.
Brexit won the EU referendum but those who wished to remain still want to rejoin and point out that it was a small percentage of voters not the whole country etc.

theworldhas · 19/09/2022 22:14

@connie26
The average Polish family will be better off than the average British one by the end of the decade. Our “privilege” is fading fast. Perhaps the BBC et al, might perhaps be able to fit in one article about this sort of thing, among the five dozen about the Queen it will launch on its UK website front page once again tomorrow. You know, actually get back to reporting the news, rather than being the propaganda arm of the British elite.

WhiskerPatrol · 19/09/2022 22:14

Not really sure what the aim of this thread is

Neither am I. What is your point? People can care about different things, and it's also possible to care about children in poverty AND be sad about the Queen.

MsTSwift · 19/09/2022 22:16

Agree so much with Chattys post.

Also agree they need to act carefully on the coronation. There’s much warmth for the queen personally and she is a link with the wartime generation. Getting the majority on board with this unequal outdated institution with petulant spoilt Charles at the helm will be a much harder sell.

theworldhas · 19/09/2022 22:17

22% of Britons want to hold a referendum on the monarchy, with almost three times as many (64%) opposed

Almost as if blanket propaganda from every major media outlet for 2 weeks straight, about the greatest leader to have ever lived, etc etc works. Even in Britain. Who would have thunk it!?

MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2022 22:18

Ilovewhippets · 19/09/2022 22:13

Just 22% of Britons want to hold a referendum on the monarchy, with almost three times as many (64%) opposed.

But even if there was a referendum and the vote was in favour of keeping the Royal Family, those opposed wouldn’t accept it.
Brexit won the EU referendum but those who wished to remain still want to rejoin and point out that it was a small percentage of voters not the whole country etc.

Maybe you have a point. Although I don’t think the support is there to find out

I think mn gives a skewed perspective - maybe because people who are unhappy about any situation will want to post more on the topic

Dave20 · 19/09/2022 22:18

I totally get the what OP is saying. I guess the thing is , even if we didn’t have a Royal Family , these problems would still exist.
And in any case, todays funeral did cost lots of money but in the grand scheme of things , it’s pennies.
It’s obviously not the fault of the Royal Family the world problems, I actually think the Royals are a force for good.

I do agree if you are born into a world of privilege, life is easier. For instance, George and Charlotte are young children. But the children they will go onto have in the future will never have to worry about paying a heating bill or losing their job. Their lives will be kind of mapped out before they are even born.

vdbfamily · 19/09/2022 22:20

I voted YABU as I don't think the Queen was lucky. From her 20's she lived her life in the service of others. Try Googling how many functions she attended annually. It is mind boggling. Yes she had more money than most people could dream of but her life was not really her own. You see young George already being prepared. Lots of MN connects about how he should not have been there but this will be his life until he dies. I would not swap my life for a total one for all the tea in China.
The Royal family is a normal family and yet all the drama had to be lived out publically. 3 out of 4 kids divorced. One son linked with a paedophile. The Diana saga. Heartbreaking for any parents to live through but to be on front page news daily and have to try and say the right thing. What a nightmare.

MotherOfRatios · 19/09/2022 22:20

Serious question when the media says the Queen worked hard, what did she do? Because I don't class turning up to a charity event as working hard.

There's so much hypocrisy when people bring up the atrocities of colonialism under her reign people say oh but it wasn't her she's just the Queen, but then in the same breath people will argue and say she reigned really well.

I wouldn't have a problem, quite so much if the royal family actually acknowledged the role in slavery and colonialism and handed back the stolen goods and jewels.

But you can't say she rained really well and in the same sentence say colonialism doesn't matter under her reign.

let me just also say it's not just the Royal family that have benefited and participated in slavery and colonialism, but they are the most prominent face of it. If Charles was 'modern' he would own up to these failings and seek to make it right.

bellac11 · 19/09/2022 22:21

greenhousegal · 19/09/2022 22:09

If Charles has any brains in his head he will downsize the Coronation hugely. Anyway I don't think a spectacle like that will be as popular as some might think.

The funeral of HMQ was an incredible spectacle of everything Britain does best, the military precision, reverence, music, the works. But it had to be, the Queen deserved to be dispatched with dignity and ritual.

There is a choice WRT the Coronation though. Instead of being a medieval like pageant for the peasants to drool over, it should be done quietly and with as little fuss as possible, while still observing protocol and history and all that. There is no need to rub people's faces into this very costly ritual. He is King already, the coronation is just an excuse to copperfasten the divine right of Kings over the peasants.

Times are changing though. There was huge respect for HMQ and the press held off. I am not so sure they will keep the bodies buried (sorry on this day but..) and may just take the lid off some stories that they have kept hidden up to now. I think Charles may be in for a rough ride sooner than he thinks. Indifference and apathy may be more dangerous to the RF than outright rebellion in the end.

Then again I could be totally wrong of course!

;

I think you are wrong. Im shocked to learn today that a majority of the worlds population watched this funeral today.

Im still slightly perplexed as to why

I wouldnt expect anywhere near that for the coronation of him because he doesnt necessarily represent what his mother did but even if only half of people are interested in it, its huge.

MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2022 22:22

theworldhas · 19/09/2022 22:17

22% of Britons want to hold a referendum on the monarchy, with almost three times as many (64%) opposed

Almost as if blanket propaganda from every major media outlet for 2 weeks straight, about the greatest leader to have ever lived, etc etc works. Even in Britain. Who would have thunk it!?

It could have gone the other way - in a similar vein to the op and others on this thread

It hasn’t I suspect because people have enjoyed what they’ve seen and felt more positively as a result

theworldhas · 19/09/2022 22:22

Look what important stuff happened at home and abroad that might affect the people of the UK today. Check out the BBC’s UK News www.bbc.com/news/uk

The funeral and … Nothing! Nothing else happened that might affect 65 million people in the worlds 5th largest economy.

About 60 articles about the Queen, a symbolic head of state, and nothing else. And it’s been like this not just today but for two effing weeks! And they wonder why people want the license fee scrapped.

MotherOfRatios · 19/09/2022 22:22

bellac11 · 19/09/2022 22:21

I think you are wrong. Im shocked to learn today that a majority of the worlds population watched this funeral today.

Im still slightly perplexed as to why

I wouldnt expect anywhere near that for the coronation of him because he doesnt necessarily represent what his mother did but even if only half of people are interested in it, its huge.

Show quote history

It was kind of enforced on us all

thegreylady · 19/09/2022 22:23

Just to say that if you want your dd to have a blessing I can imagine any priest or vicar would love to do that. If you want her blessed by a bishop have her confirmed. I was confirmed and had a blessing from the Bishop of Durham. Are you a religious family to whom a blessing would be significant?

DoingJustFine · 19/09/2022 22:24

The Queen was, essentially, a very, very, very well-paid diplomat. I don't think she deserved 10 days of mourning when - as far as I can see - her country went to crap during her reign.

Andante57 · 19/09/2022 22:26

It was kind of enforced on us all

There was blanket coverage, that is true, but no one HAD to watch it.
The World Cup gets huge coverage but I manage to avoid watching or reading about it.

MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2022 22:27

MotherOfRatios · 19/09/2022 22:22

It was kind of enforced on us all

Show quote history

No one had to watch it

Not here but definitely not o/s - where billions did apparently

purfectpuss · 19/09/2022 22:27

Getting rid of the royals and the like and sharing their wealth around would not eradicate poverty. The country as a whole benefits far more from having wealthy individuals than it would from having them share out their assets.

Way back in the mists of time we were all born pretty much equal; some are wealthy because their ancestors were winners in a game of survival. Whatever happens, some will always be more successful.