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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That I have a lump in my throat more for the class system than the funeral

325 replies

JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 19:53

Sat here with a lump in my throat after watching the funeral but I think it's more to do with realising just how unfair life is and what a lottery life can be.

A lot of people in this country are living on the breadline, children are born into poverty, using food banks, lots of homeless, children moving into hotels whilst their parents wait for a house and so much more. Now this is not a thread to bash the royal family as people but I can't help but feel a bit down at the fact that a lot of their lives are luck - luck to be born into a life of privilege or luck of marrying into it.

Now I'm not saying it's easy to be a royal but I know if I had a choice of choosing to be a person born into privilege with the risk of press following me or another person who is living in a tiny flat or house, struggling to pay bills and having to use food banks whilst working a minimum wage job, I know which one I'd choose.

Not really sure what the aim of this thread is but maybe other people had similar feelings from the funeral?

OP posts:
Tillsforthrills · 19/09/2022 19:57

Not sure who’s voted YABU

Absolutely anyone, even those of us who are or feel privileged can fully appreciate what you’re saying.

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:00

@Tillsforthrills I feel privileged in many ways in my own life, not perfect but I have a lovely family and partner who are there for me when life is a bit rubbish, but my job has allowed me to meet people from different walks of life and awful childhoods. it just hit me that we all had the potential to be born into such lives. Probably not explaining myself well

OP posts:
Chattycathydoll · 19/09/2022 20:03

I was never THAT passionate but the blessing for the Royal Family really hit home. Little Charlotte is only 2 weeks younger than my DD. But she’s the most special little girl in the entire country, worthy of a blessing from the Archbishop of Canterbury just for existing, really?

It just made me feel a bit sad and angry. I know it’s life, everyone will have different experiences, but why maintain this on purpose.

Cantanka · 19/09/2022 20:05

A lot of people in this country are living on the breadline, children are born into poverty, using food banks, lots of homeless, children moving into hotels whilst their parents wait for a house and so much more. Now this is not a thread to bash the royal family as people but I can't help but feel a bit down at the fact that a lot of their lives are luck - luck to be born into a life of privilege or luck of marrying into it

This is true, but it’s all relative because being born in this country with its free state education, free at the point of use NHS etc is something of a privilege as I’m sure the people in loads of places, such as Syria or Yemen, will testify

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:08

@Chattycathydoll you hit the nail on the head. I have all the respect for people who have made their riches and recognise there will always be rich and poor in the world but this concept of being born to be "special" is just luck and quite outdated.
I've met so many children who probably have very similar personalities to the royal children - cheeky, funny and absolutely adorable but a totally different upbringing and some rather sad

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 19/09/2022 20:09

I agree that the line between the very poor and the very rich is far too wide, and the things that could be achieved if the royal family and other billionaires gave up a bit more of their wealth would be amazing

But I also think that everyone should take responsibility for themselves and I think people should be as financially stable as possible before having children. While I don’t think children should be a luxury that only rich people can afford, I also think that children shouldn’t be born in to poverty because a, the system is well supported that no one in this country is in poverty but b, that people having children isn’t an expense that tips them in to poverty

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:11

Cantanka · 19/09/2022 20:05

A lot of people in this country are living on the breadline, children are born into poverty, using food banks, lots of homeless, children moving into hotels whilst their parents wait for a house and so much more. Now this is not a thread to bash the royal family as people but I can't help but feel a bit down at the fact that a lot of their lives are luck - luck to be born into a life of privilege or luck of marrying into it

This is true, but it’s all relative because being born in this country with its free state education, free at the point of use NHS etc is something of a privilege as I’m sure the people in loads of places, such as Syria or Yemen, will testify

Yep, but if all these idiots carry on voting Tory, there will be no more NHS very very soon.

The gap between rich & poor is getting bigger by the minute.

Today's funeral was a disgustingly vulgar waste of money.
It needs to stop.

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:11

@Cantanka what you're saying is true and of course there is always someone worse off but I still get that bittersweet feeling of someone in the modern day just being "chosen by God to be a special one", any of us could have easily been born in any country by any sort of parents and life is literally lucky

OP posts:
Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:15

@ShirleyPhallus yes every one should take responsibility for themselves but sadly that's not the life we live in. Plenty of children are born into families and households of drug addicts, messy mouldy houses, abuse etc.
Many need to go through a care system and go from foster to foster and therefore securing no real attachments. Yes us adults to should take responsibility but many don't and have children even when they can't provide the child an adequate life.

I'm thinking more that some souls have "bad luck" in terms of the family they end up with and any royal could have easily been born into one of those families but they had the luck of being in the "right" womb

OP posts:
FlyingD · 19/09/2022 20:15

Vulgar amount of money spent when people are struggling. Totally agree.

Cantanka · 19/09/2022 20:15

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:11

Yep, but if all these idiots carry on voting Tory, there will be no more NHS very very soon.

The gap between rich & poor is getting bigger by the minute.

Today's funeral was a disgustingly vulgar waste of money.
It needs to stop.

Show quote history

Even if the NHS disappeared, the privilege of being born into the system in this country is one which hundreds of millions would give their right arm for. It has its many faults, which I believe in trying to improve, but let’s keep perspective.

I honestly think lots of people in this country have no idea of the appalling conditions billions around the world live in.

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:16

@Cantanka but I don't think you can belittle the life many live in the UK because "someone else has it worse". There is a big divide between Rich and poor

OP posts:
Ridley10 · 19/09/2022 20:17

I’ve found it a bit hard to swallow that the royals have so much money and yet so many people live in poverty. All the talk of duty and service to me looks like a very nice and very privileged life.

FlyingD · 19/09/2022 20:17

I honestly think lots of people in this country have no idea of the appalling conditions billions around the world live in.

I am well aware of the poverty, I've travelled for seven years in those countries. it also makes it even more vulgar in my opinion.

BMW6 · 19/09/2022 20:18

I voted YABU as people are never born equal to start with.
Some are born with physical differences, low IQ, to abusive and or neglectful parents etc etc.

Life itself isn't "fair" in that respect. Taking wealth away from some to give to those who have little isn't fair to the person losing out.

There's always people better off than you, and those less well off than you. You'll never make it equal for everyone. Ever.

xogossipgirlxo · 19/09/2022 20:18

Yanbu. I was thinking the same. Their life is sorted out, before they are even born.

RoseAndRose · 19/09/2022 20:18

If you look globally, and see how relatively rich even our poorest people are, then it's clear that we need to be doing huge amounts to make the world fairer

Cantanka · 19/09/2022 20:18

JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:16

@Cantanka but I don't think you can belittle the life many live in the UK because "someone else has it worse". There is a big divide between Rich and poor

I haven’t belittled it. I said I agreed with you about the inequality in this country. I’m trying to make the point that inequality goes far deeper than within the UK.

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:19

@Ridley10 yes everyone goes on about duty and service but I feel so many people live a life of duty and service and for a LOT less money.
All those carers who work for minimum wage, all those people who give up careers to care for a family member, etc.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 19/09/2022 20:19

I’m ambivalent towards the actual members of the RF and some of it doesn’t resonate well with me.

At the same time I appreciate the pageantry, tradition, and found it beautiful so wouldn’t want to lose that.

I try not to give the actual people too much headspace, and some of the reactions over the youngest make be recoil

But overall someone needs to do it if I want the beautiful services across London

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 19/09/2022 20:19

Twas ever thus OP and judging by the amount of threads on MN about Class it will never change.

Life is unfair.

MotherOfPuffling · 19/09/2022 20:20

Financial inequality also leads to social unrest, and makes for a less happy population. Everyone benefits, including the wealthy, when resources are more evenly divided. Allowing one section of society to hoard resources in the form of extreme wealth (looking at you, Bezos), isn’t good for anyone.

bellac11 · 19/09/2022 20:20

Yes some of its luck, certainly when you're talking about the aristocracy and elite classes, but ultimately whether they wer ehere or not, whether they had this funeral today or not, we would be left with the situation we have in this country because the people, the 'great' British public chose to vote for the system we have. Democracy has prevailed and what a disaster that is

Brexit and 12 years of the Tories has done for this country. Not the royal family

Original poster
JessicaJoens5 · 19/09/2022 20:20

@BMW6 I'm not talking about people who have made their riches as I understand there will always be rich and poor, I'm on about the royal family and how the concept of being born "special" is very outdated and basically luck

OP posts:
Dailywalk · 19/09/2022 20:21

OP You’ve articulated just how I’ve felt about today.