Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you see living abroad as being successful

78 replies

Whattimedoyoucallthisthen · 18/09/2022 09:55

If someone you knew had left the U.K., moved abroad and started a new life, would you see that as them having been successful?
What would you think of them?

OP posts:
sst1234 · 18/09/2022 09:58

Depends on where it was and what they were doing with their life. Sometimes moving abroad is a mistake, just like moving to a new town can be.

GoneWithTheWine1 · 18/09/2022 10:00

Not really no. I had family who moved aboard 6 years later they had to move back as they couldn't afford health care or keep up with their lifestyle choices.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 18/09/2022 10:02

I don't know. A lot of our friends moved elsewhere since school and uni. My parents are both immigrants. Immigration is just a thing some people do. My parents friends emigrated to Aus in the 90s to escape debt collectors!

purpleme12 · 18/09/2022 10:02

Probably, I guess as it takes courage to do that.
Why?

DickDarstedly · 18/09/2022 10:02

it depends entirely why they moved and where to.

eg. If they moved to Malaga in the 1970s to get away from British police and spent all their time in British pubs, not successful. If they moved to Paris, became fluent in French and did a professional job or set up a business then yes, successful.

maddy68 · 18/09/2022 10:02

If that was their aim then yes , they successes in their goal.

ultimateforks · 18/09/2022 10:03

Depends on multiple factors

Some people move abroad to be with extended family and it's nothing to do with success

I moved abroad for a promotion a few years ago - that was due to 'success' and people were proud of me for it

maddy68 · 18/09/2022 10:04

I live abroad, I am no more successful in a professional capacity as I was when I lived in the UK.

It depends how you measure success

Butchyrestingface · 18/09/2022 10:06

I lived abroad as a child and we were as poor as church mice. One parent was trying make ends meet by working the job they were qualified to do for far less pay then they'd get in the UK and the other was bootlegging fags and not very good at it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We also knew of plenty of others living in reduced circumstances, all because they fancied a life in the sun.

So I would not necessarily think that moving abroad is indicative of success (whatever that is).

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 18/09/2022 10:07

Depends where!
Is this about Dubai?

NippyWoowoo · 18/09/2022 10:10

I have a friend that moved 'abroad', literally did it just so she can say 'well on the continent we do xyz'.

She earns a lot more money that she loves to talk about than back in the UK but her outgoings are also so much more then over here that she is living below the lifestyle she lived back home. Not far below, but still below. No nights out for drinks/dinner etc. Basic house and car.

But for her the trade-off is being able to drive to other countries for holidays and living in the countryside (which of course isn't lacking in the UK, but that's boring!)

So for her it's a step up. For me, not so much, but it is in the eye of the beholder

Aprilx · 18/09/2022 10:15

I have lived and worked overseas twice, I was no more successful professionally there than I would have been if I had stayed in the UK, in fact in my sector Financial Services, London experience is very highly regarded worldwide. I was successful in having an interesting life experience and doing something I wanted to do though, but that is all.

Anothernamechangeplease · 18/09/2022 10:18

Success is not a function of where you live, whether it's in the UK or overseas. That's just geography. It really depends on what people are doing and why.

I would have thought that a better question is whether people are happy. Which also has nothing to do with where they live.

Butterfly44 · 18/09/2022 10:24

Very odd statement. Success has nothing to do with where you live. Lots of detail missed out OP.

Testina · 18/09/2022 10:36

Well you’re just about every possible detail which could easily change my answer but… in general, yes.

I would see someone who moved abroad as proactive, confident, interested in new things - all of which feed into my idea of what success is.

But come back and tell us it’s your great uncle Gary or Andy and he’s moved to Bangkok aged 60 and I’ll give you a different answer 🤷🏻‍♀️

whatsup00 · 18/09/2022 10:37

Before Brexit you could move and work abroad the same as working and living in the UK (apart from moving expenses obviously) but tbh I'd still consider someone a success as I think it takes a lot to uproot your life and start over in a new place.

Success isn't really defined by how much money you earn past a certain point. As long as you've got enough to live on, I think health and happiness are more important.

So someone who moved to Spain and is earning 18K and has set up their life would impress me as much as someone who has moved to a gulf state and is earning 100K.

I think sometimes we underestimate how difficult it is to move abroad - to deal with everything - everything is different, all of the admin, sorting things out, learning a new language and community. So yes I would admire someone who has done that. It is different to moving to a new town in the UK IMO.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 18/09/2022 10:39

NippyWoowoo · 18/09/2022 10:10

I have a friend that moved 'abroad', literally did it just so she can say 'well on the continent we do xyz'.

She earns a lot more money that she loves to talk about than back in the UK but her outgoings are also so much more then over here that she is living below the lifestyle she lived back home. Not far below, but still below. No nights out for drinks/dinner etc. Basic house and car.

But for her the trade-off is being able to drive to other countries for holidays and living in the countryside (which of course isn't lacking in the UK, but that's boring!)

So for her it's a step up. For me, not so much, but it is in the eye of the beholder

It doesn't sound like you like your friend at all!

Suedomin · 18/09/2022 10:40

It depends what they are doing. They are neither more or less successful than someone who stayed in their home country doing the same.
Surely what matters is whether they are happy and feel successful by their own standards.

HairyMothballs · 18/09/2022 10:41

It depends on where the person has moved to. Benidorm, no. Somewhere like Italy, probably.

Sexnotgender · 18/09/2022 10:42

Depends on many factors.

FlipFlopsAndIceCream · 18/09/2022 10:47

I think I kind of get where you r coming from.

When I was early 20s I didn't know what to do with my life. My mum was v subtly pressuring that I should have some great graduate job. I wasn't skilled or motivated enough to get one. Would have been happy doing a minimum wage job for a bit but felt I would have been frowned upon, so I went to Japan for a year to teach English. It made me feel 'succeasful' because other people (mainly my mum) were able to say 'oh x is working abroad' etc... I did enjoy it, and it gave me a year breathing space to think about what to do, without feeling people were looking down on me.

Now I'm older, my mum is sadly no longer alive, I have a family etc... We have though about moving abroad for much different reasons (weather, standard of living, etc) but I don't think it would make me look or be any more successful. I'd be doing the same job and have the same family, just in a different place.

Survey99 · 18/09/2022 10:47

HairyMothballs · 18/09/2022 10:41

It depends on where the person has moved to. Benidorm, no. Somewhere like Italy, probably.

So someone who moves to benidorm, opens a club/bar/cafe the has a high turnover would not be seen as successful, but someone who moves to Italy and lives in a poky flat/shared house doing fieldwork would be?

The place is irrelevant.

LionessesRules · 18/09/2022 10:48

Simply moving, within the uk or abroad, doesn't make you successful.
The reasons that make you move might mean you are successful.

Oysterbabe · 18/09/2022 10:49

God no. It reminds me of the Stuart Lee sketch on Emigrants. 😂
www.dailymotion.com/video/x2iom1b

gogohmm · 18/09/2022 10:50

Depends! You can run away from your troubles and make a mess of your new life too! Some people make a success of relocation others do not and move back, or worse are stuck overseas unhappy but unable to afford to return to the U.K./too embarrassed

Swipe left for the next trending thread