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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you isolate child before surgery

28 replies

tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:25

My 3 year old is due for surgery at the end of next week to remove tonsils, adenoids & to fit grommets in both ears.

The operation has been cancelled twice due to Illness. I’m planning on keeping them home from nursery all next week but my mum thinks I’m over reacting and that I should just send to nursery as normal. I have twins and my plan is to keep them both home for the week.

if you or your child were having surgery would you isolate beforehand? There has been no advice given by the hospital, they don’t even do a covid test anymore.

YABU - yes you are over reacting

YANBU - no totally sensible

OP posts:
tonightelmowillrise · 17/09/2022 20:28

if it’s already been cancelled twice I’d isolate to avoid a 3rd cancellation for the same reason yes

SometimesMaybe · 17/09/2022 20:29

In your shoes with two previous cancellations I absolutely would. Best of luck.

BruisedSkies · 17/09/2022 20:29

I would. Especially as it’s coming up to autumn and illnesses are likely

Always4Brenner · 17/09/2022 20:30

Definitely you need this surgery done.

OneLittleLady · 17/09/2022 20:30

i had surgery today and was told to isolate for 4 days before hand and do a covid lateral flow 24 hours before

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 17/09/2022 20:32

Absolutely. I don't see why you wouldn't.

Original poster
tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:34

My mum reluctantly agrees that to keep off my DD who is having the surgery but to send my other DD to nursery at usual.

I personally think that’s totally bonkers.

OP posts:
PoppyBlunt · 17/09/2022 20:41

My LO had the same surgery earlier this year (and being postponed due to illness). All of us isolated beforehand.

moita · 17/09/2022 20:42

tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:34

My mum reluctantly agrees that to keep off my DD who is having the surgery but to send my other DD to nursery at usual.

I personally think that’s totally bonkers.

Why does it matter what your mum thinks? Unless she's expected to look after the children?

I would keep them off OP.

Hugasauras · 17/09/2022 20:43

What's it got to do with your mum anyway? Does she have to look after them? If not then I'm not sure why she's so bothered!

I would keep off as it's already been cancelled twice because of illness and a third time would be really irritating for everyone.

Original poster
tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:44

PoppyBlunt · 17/09/2022 20:41

My LO had the same surgery earlier this year (and being postponed due to illness). All of us isolated beforehand.

Oh that’s good to know. Hope your LO was ok? How was their recovery?

surgery is on Friday next week and we haven’t left the house since Thursday and don’t really plan on. The bank holiday makes it a little easier.

OP posts:
Original poster
tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:49

Hugasauras · 17/09/2022 20:43

What's it got to do with your mum anyway? Does she have to look after them? If not then I'm not sure why she's so bothered!

I would keep off as it's already been cancelled twice because of illness and a third time would be really irritating for everyone.

She normally has them for 2 afternoons a week after nursery - so from 3-4.30pm - she’s just extremely opinionated and has a habit of making me question myself.

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 17/09/2022 20:49

Yes. We isolated in the first week of the school holidays to ensure that we could go on holiday. (Dd was the “wrong type of 12”.)

I think an operation is far more important than a holiday.

AnotherCleftMum · 17/09/2022 20:52

I did keep a (singleton) child at home for a week before surgery. I can see exactly why you would want to keep both off as the twin going into nursery could easily bring something home to share.

Unless your mum wants to look after one child all week to keep them separate I'm not sure what else you can do. And I think missing a sibling for a week would be worse than missing nursery for a week.

I'd try to arrange fun things to do which are a mixture of both children's interests so that the week before the operation was like a holiday. And have a midnight feast the night before the surgery.

Take care.

unicormb · 17/09/2022 20:53

I isolated my son for ten days before he had this op, and that was before covid. It was so so needed I just couldn't risk it not happening.

lemonyanus · 17/09/2022 20:55

YANBU when my child had ENT surgery scheduled I took him out of nursery a few weeks before. They can't get those ops done if they've got a cold and colds are everywhere this time of year.

idontthinksodou · 17/09/2022 20:55

Yes definitely isolate both twins, obviously if the twin that is having the op catching COVID they won't be able to have it and if the other twin isn't isolating and catches it then the twin having the op is practically guaranteed to catch it!

I think you need to set some boundaries with your mum, it's not really on for her to be so opinionated and to make you feel like she does. I have a 3 month old and have had some stern words with my mum about interfering

Original poster
tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:58

unicormb · 17/09/2022 20:53

I isolated my son for ten days before he had this op, and that was before covid. It was so so needed I just couldn't risk it not happening.

I feel exactly the same way. We only saw the consultant in April and he agreed to urgent surgery at our first appointment. She is absolutely tiny, isn’t even on the centile charts for height, has dreadful sleep apnea. Her immune system is rock bottom. We’re really hoping this surgery will be a turning point 🤞🏻

OP posts:
PoppyBlunt · 17/09/2022 21:54

tuesdayblues1 · 17/09/2022 20:44

Oh that’s good to know. Hope your LO was ok? How was their recovery?

surgery is on Friday next week and we haven’t left the house since Thursday and don’t really plan on. The bank holiday makes it a little easier.

Show quote history

LO underwent Coblation method. So recovery was brilliant. Operation on Thursday. Back to nursery on the Tuesday (ready on Monday but felt a bit odd sending back so soon!).
Sounds similar to your situation OP, very bad sleep apnea and poor growth before procedure.

babysharksb1tch · 17/09/2022 21:59

I absolutely would OP. My little one had it done earlier this year with a slight cold. Nothing really was said other than he had a Covid test during the OP? 🤷‍♀️

It's been life changing for my little one. And I wasn't even sure it was necessary. We had coblation, home a few hours after the op and back to nursery 6 days after. Amazing.

jayhoo · 18/09/2022 19:31

I isolated with my daughter for four days before her surgery last year. Specialist unit was other end of the country so in an Airbnb. Took all provisions with us. Turned out to be lovely, we had a garden, their dvd collection which was v different to our taste and loads of books. I know we were lucky.

But definitely isolate both

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 18/09/2022 19:32

It's nursery they are missing, not important exams. Your mum is nuts and a tad stupid. Keep them at home.

lunar1 · 18/09/2022 19:34

I would, less than two weeks back at school and my two are already ill!

Original poster
tuesdayblues1 · 20/09/2022 15:54

so we haven't been out of the house since Friday morning. My DD developed a runny nose and a night time cough on Sunday. I'm currently going out of my mind with worry now that the operation will be cancelled. The runny nose is part of the continual problems she is having with her adenoids but the cough is really distressing me. It only happens at night when she is laid down.

Does anyone have any experience of this? We still have 3 days/nights for it to improve I suppose 😫

OP posts:
BruisedSkies · 20/09/2022 21:26

Oh no!!!! That’s so shit. One of you must have been carrying a cold and not known. I’d just hope for the best for the op. Don’t think there’s anything you can do to speed up recovery really apart from lots of rest