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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Frustrated with "best friend"

59 replies

EdaYildiz · 17/09/2022 14:56

I'm just so annoyed at someone at my so called best friend of 10 years.

We had the typical girly best friend relationship until she got married in 2018, and slowly things changed, nothing that effected our friendship too much, just that she didn't like to talk on the phone anymore at home or doesn't meet up on weekends which I can imagine is because she wants to spend time her with husband.

Yesterday I went to the Queens Lying in State and all she did was LAUGH at me for it and she was not joking but more like I was a joke for even doing it. Thinking about it now I told her my plans to go a couple of days ago and her reply was "don't bow your head at the coffin, what are you going to do that for" and "why do you even like the Queen? She killed Diana".

She messaged me today and asked how it was and I told her it was the best experience of my life and the memories made are priceless and her reply was "Lolll is it" and I'm annoyed that she can't just be a friend and say something like "I'm so happy you were able to do it, well done".

And the more I think about it, I've realised she's constantly "laughing" at me, for things I choose to do/like or just treating me like I'm an an idiot. I'm meeting her on Tuesday and I don't feel like seeing her anymore and right now I just don't want to be her friend.

I can list examples of every time she has made me feel shit but I can honestly with my hand on my heart say I have never not supported her or shown her my love when she needed it - if she did something that I didn't agree with, I would still support her!

AIBU?

OP posts:
LimeCheesecake · 17/09/2022 16:58

@GoneWithTheWine1 gives good advice. It doesn’t sound like she’s someone you would become friends with now if you weren’t already friends.

nachoavocado · 17/09/2022 16:59

Ditch her she's nasty

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/09/2022 17:00

You’ve outgrown her

She also sounds a bit thick?

iklboo · 17/09/2022 17:01

Even if she thought you visiting the Queen's coffin was silly there's no need to be nasty about it. She should have just kept her mouth shut and her (barking) opinions to herself. Ditch her. You deserve better.

Thesearmsofmine · 17/09/2022 17:02

You’ve grown apart, the friendship has run its course: I can’t understand how visiting the queens coffin could be the best experience of someones life but I wouldn’t say it to them and probably just skip over the topic so I think she was rude saying lol.

EmmaH2022 · 17/09/2022 17:18

If she is constantly putting you down, she isn't really a friend. I'd lose touch, unless she asks what's wrong.

How long have the put downs been going on? Just wondering if she's having a temporary tough phase and taking it out on you.

Theglowofcandles · 17/09/2022 17:18

She actually said The Queen killed Diana.. my 9 year old came out with this the other day because the other 9 year olds in school were saying it.. she sounds abit childish.

She is belittling you and that's not how you treat a friend. If this is a regular thing then I would start to distance myself.

OnaBegonia · 17/09/2022 17:19

@drpet49
I too would have rolled my eyes at
it was the best experience of my life and the memories made are priceless
deary me

FloofyUni · 17/09/2022 17:24

YANBU because she is being mean

But honestly, it was the best experience of your life? If someone said that to me I'd chuckle too

Ladybyrd · 17/09/2022 17:33

But honestly, it was the best experience of your life? If someone said that to me I'd chuckle too

I won't be heading down there anytime soon, but I wouldn't ridicule someone who felt it was a big deal, for them. I wasn't there. Who am I to judge?

But worse than that..... "lol"?

SMH.

LAWinterofOurDiscountTents · 17/09/2022 17:34

To be fair, I think most people would laugh if you said that standing in a Queue for 14 hours to file past a coffin for 20 seconds was the best experience of your life. Or maybe cry because that indicates the saddest life ever.

You both sound as odd as each other.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 17/09/2022 17:37

I'd sack her off.
No one needs so called friends who laugh at you, belittle you and make you feel sad.

CharlotteRose90 · 17/09/2022 17:41

You are worlds apart, I would have given the same response to your message Aswell. Clearly you don’t feel the same.

for both your sakes I wouldn’t get in touch .

Butchyrestingface · 17/09/2022 17:42

ManateeFair · 17/09/2022 15:02

You both sound nuts, frankly.

Lol. I was thinking that.

However, your respective brands of nuttiness are no longer compatible, hence, it's time to cut the chord on this one and you can both sail off into sunset ... in opposite directions.

JazbayGrapes · 17/09/2022 18:57

Maybe this friendship has run its course? Time to go separate ways.

berksandbeyond · 17/09/2022 19:03

She sounds like a dick. 'The best experience of your life' is a bit mental too though.
Sounds like the friendship has run its course

Grumpusaurus · 17/09/2022 19:08

She is a mean girl. It does not matter what you do or what is important to you, a real friend would respect that and not mock you! I don't think this is a friendship that is worth salvaging as there is no respect shown for you and she is full of contempt.

ladydimitrescu · 17/09/2022 19:12

I'll be honest, if you said it was the best experience of your life I would also laugh. She sounds not nice in general, but come on - lining up for the best part of a day to see a coffin, is very odd to be the best experience you've ever had.

Caroffee · 17/09/2022 19:15

You've grown apart. It's sad but lots of friendships end in this way.

MzHz · 17/09/2022 19:18

drpet49 · 17/09/2022 16:03

“She messaged me today and asked how it was and I told her it was the best experience of my life and the memories made are priceless and her reply was "Lolll is it" and I'm annoyed that she can't just be a friend and say something like "I'm so happy you were able to do it, well done".”

I would have rolled my eyes at the best experience and memories part

I’d have rolled my eyes too. @EdaYildiz have you been taking part in all the virtue signalling/uber mourning? Perhaps she’s just reacting to that?

Thinkbiglittleone · 17/09/2022 19:26

There is no need to be rude about someone else's opinions of their experiences.
I'm an honest person with my friends, but I wouldn't minimise their feelings on something.

I had a "friend" where I ended up feeling that uurrghhh feeling before listening to her messages or meeting up with her, so I don't now, I just phased her out over the summer holidays. It wasn't a long standing friendship it was only a year or 2, and met through our kids at nursery, but as I meet you with her more, I could see we were very different people and so were our kids at this point.

If it was one of my long standing friends, I would probably talk to them about how you feel.

Cosycover · 17/09/2022 19:37

The best experience of your life?

Really?

DashboardConfessional · 17/09/2022 19:45

I always assume anyone who types "lolllllll" has about 3 brain cells.

Ikeabag · 17/09/2022 19:47

I wouldn't even call her out on it. No way would I speak to a friend like that - she isn't one. She's mocking you. Don't let her. Stop contacting her now, you're giving her more fuel for her fire.

Ikeabag · 17/09/2022 19:50

Wrt posters above saying it's weird to feel so strongly about seeing the queen's coffin - it's odd to me too, but that's not an excuse for meanness, for goodness' sake. I think you need to start protecting yourself from people that do this rather than try to reason with them, they're not going to eat their words when they have naff all respect for you.

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