Some people aren’t as intelligent as they seem?

[Justnowwondering]

Prefacing this with I’m not intending to be bitchy in any way. Just wondering if any one has similar experiences.

Ive had a few experiences recently where I have questioned my opinion on people I know. For example a friend who is degree level educated and an assistant manager of a team of people, I always thought as clever yet a lot of the times they get confused over basic sentences I say to them. Really clear statements followed by a ‘huh?’
or someone else I know who fails to see blatant attempts from a third party trying to manipulate situations. I can see it plain as fat as they are really obvious but they seem oblivious. I thought this person clever enough to see it too.

Is it lack of common sense or intelligence or do they go hand in hand? I really don’t want to sound pretentious but I find myself understanding/being able to see things better than other people a lot even when I thought them very clever. Can anyone relate or AIBU?

School smart, street stupid is a real thing. Vice versa also.

I think people are just different. Some people are very focused on a few areas, some are generally aware.

Also some people are more relaxed so don't care about mistakes, while others try very hard all the time.

I'm less arsed these days in general, I'm not (much) thicker but I cover up errors less.

Frankly in the context of the OP I'm a bit uncomfortable with the assertion that somebody not understanding what you say means a lack of intelligence on the part of the listener.

There is the old joke about two workpersons that goes along the lines of..

"See this nail? Good.... now when I nod my head hit it with that hammer you are holding?

It would interesting to know if third parties to some of these conversations really find the verbal comms as clear and as unambiguous as the OP thinks they are...

I have a PhD, Masters and first-class honours degree. I got these qualifications through sheer determination and dogged hard work, not intelligence. If I was intelligent, I would have done something that made me a lot of money and gave me an easy life.

One of your examples - shows the person lacks emotional intelligence- the manipulative one

kindly I would also question your own understanding of things as how could you generally conclude that because some has a degree they are a totally intelligent person!!!!

Because someone has a degree does not mean they have common sense. Parts of our academia is stuffed with educated idiots.

My mum is very, very clever. She just knows everything. She's got multiple degrees and other examples of her brilliance I won't go in to.

And yet, she's such a fucking idiot at times.

I don't agree with the friends and men part. That isn't a unquie skill as such or intelligence. It's easy to advise others on relationships but I often find when the shoes on the other foot the other "friend" isn't so quick to take her own advice.

Prefacing this with I’m not intending to be bitchy in any way.

And yet you managed it so well. Perhaps not quite as clever as you think. I wouldn't want to be your friend if you are not only so judgemental, but also post how thick you think I am on the internet.

I don't think there is only one form of intelligence.

People can have PHDs but lack basic common sense.

Someone might be really smart and knowledgeable but not very good at articulating their knowledge because they are not natural communicator or good with people.

You also see people who might not have a lot of academic qualifications because they found school boring or had a learning difficulty like dyslexia but in reality they are really smart and do well in business or sport and life in general.

Most of our current government were privately educated and they are the worst bunch of fools I have ever seen...

These days having a degree is quite common and certainly is not always a sign of intelligence. For example, as a manager I have recruited for many roles that required degrees and I was always shocked by the CVs and letters I got from some graduates: full of spelling mistakes, rambling copy and irrelevant facts. That included people with MAs in English and literature would simply could not write a decent sentence to save their lives...

Intelligence is a different skill to kindness or worldliness. You can be intelligent but naive. And we all have points where we are stressed or distracted and make simple mistakes. Since having a baby I really struggle to recall information so I spend a lot of meetings writing stuff down.

School smart, street stupid and the reverse are definitely a thing I agree. But I think they are mainly nurture versus nature. It’s largely to do with what your parents prioritise and the values they teach you.

I also think there’s a bit of a tendency on behalf of the “street smart” people to use this dichotomy to bring the “book smart” people down. And vice versa. “He may have a PhD but he can’t change a plug” type thing.

In reality there’s no inherent intellectual superiority in either having a PhD in microbiology or being very good at household electronics. They are different competences which most people can learn if they apply themselves.

Very few people have the time or the inclination to be brilliant at everything so people specialise in a competence which they value. Their skillet reflects the quality of their teaching and the level of investment that they have put into it.

I am reasonably good at written communication and absolutely terrible at household electronics. I am no more or less stupid than a smart electrician who sorts out my fuse box. We have different priorities. It doesn’t make sense for me to devote a large amount of my disposable time to learning to fix a fuse box. No doubt my sparky doesn’t particularly want to devote his free time to the stuff which I spend mine on.

Maybe she has a processing disorder/issue so didn't fully understand what you said, hence the "huh".

On paper I'm reasonably smart but have a similar issue so sometimes need people to repeat themselves.

No offense but you do know that putting "kindly" at the beginning of a sentence, doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and still sound like you are being perfectly lovely!😉

I think I have very good emotional intelligence, I am very perceptive, creative, good at debates, ethics, my job requires a lot of forward planning, preparing for multiple scenario's, problem solving, seeing different perspectives. I'm very good at managing emotionally volatile situations.

But, I'm hopeless at following instructions. Took me about 10 lessons to remember to use the clutch when driving. If I have a device and the instructions are more than 4 steps long I think nah. I'm awful at board games and my general knowledge about history and geography is pretty poor.

I think you might have to think about the way you communicate rather than how she comprehends. It's kind of odd that you assume she's the one with the problem!

Well, maybe in addition to not rather than. Communication is a two way street - that's rather the point.

Meh, I know what you mean, I don't think you're being bitchy.

There are definitely different kinds of intelligent. The only woman I know to have every kind is my mum, truly intelligent woman in every aspect. She can wow the room with just her mind. (Unfortunately I'm more like my dad!)

I have friends with degrees, in high paid jobs, absolutely fabulous at their jobs, obviously very academically intelligent.... yet innocently come out with some of the daftest shite I've ever heard!

On the other hand, one friend in particular springs to mind, who has failed in an academic setting their whole lives, very basic education, and they absolutely blow my mind with how sharp, quick witted and wise they are. They seem to live and think outside of the box always. Truly one of the most intelligent people I've ever met.

Haha! Exactly, and it took me a minute to work out what you are saying. I would have ended up with a sore head (or an assault charge😂). I was quick when I was young (As a lot of people are), in my middle age I'm slower to understand what is being said and I struggle more to find the right words in response. I also mix up people's name (mainly people I don't know), and I often hold completely contradictory viewpoints about things, and can struggle to make decisions because I overthink. I've had to strip life right back to keep my mental health.

It makes me laugh though because I would have driven my 15-year-old self absolutely nuts with how I am. I'm glad I don't have to answer to her!

Some people will ace an IQ test in a quiet room but put them in front of a work situation with a couple of awkward customers and they’ll lose both of them to another company and probably get themselves fired in the process. It’s why it’s so important to pick a job that plays to your strengths. I think often people assume getting straight A signifies that someone ought to be good at everything, but of course if they’re often overtaken careerwise by others with other strengths which are overlooked in the formal education system.

Degree-educated does not equal super intelligence, no. However, you would be unlikely to be capable of getting a PhD "ect" if you couldn't think critically, do research and understand and apply theory. And you'd have to be fairly curious to undertake a minimum of three years' independent study at this level in the first place.

I think in the example you have given, that's more about your interpersonal skills than intelligence.
If you've grown up being invalidated in one way or another by your family or another significant relationship, then you tend to be easy prey for manipulators, because you've not been allowed to trust your own judgement.
Or it might be she's just not been exposed to manipulative people before.

I speak with a clipped accent (was made to as a child I’m from a working class family I just dont sound it)

the assumption is often made I am intelligent and should take charge in certain circumstances. My nanny knew that these assumptions were made and that is what she wanted for her girls in the family

I’m not stupid but the assumption often amuses me. It’s been useful though

being educated and having common sense are not the same thing intelligence comes in many different forms

Over the years I've worked with several people who have passed Alevels and have a degree but don't seem particular "bright". I've had other colleagues who seem
much more academically able, but didn't do so well
in exams and so haven't gone on to get a degree. I think doing well in GCSE and Alevels must be a separate skill to being able to pick things up quickly in the work place, and take advise from experienced colleagues, and act on your own initiative. At the moment im working with someone who seems painfully thick, but has a degree. DH hasn't met them and is saying they are shy and lazy. I just think they're not too "bright".

Some people spent all night every night doing her gcse and a levels to get their A grades. This makes them less intelligent than someone who spent a lot less time on them but got the same grades as they took less time to grasp the information, however on paper they'll look the same. I am someone who grasps things very quickly and have to work less to achieve an a academic result but the people who work doubly as hard do end up unwinding when they start working in top jobs and results are needed immediately imo.

I do however disagree that academics should be the sole measure of intelligence. In the U.K. it's pushed because the highest paid jobs tend to be academically linked. I in other countries where other profitable opportunities are more available outside of academic ones intelligence isn't so heavily based on exam results and more on achievements whatever for they may come in.