Some people aren’t as intelligent as they seem?

[Justnowwondering]

Prefacing this with I’m not intending to be bitchy in any way. Just wondering if any one has similar experiences.

Ive had a few experiences recently where I have questioned my opinion on people I know. For example a friend who is degree level educated and an assistant manager of a team of people, I always thought as clever yet a lot of the times they get confused over basic sentences I say to them. Really clear statements followed by a ‘huh?’
or someone else I know who fails to see blatant attempts from a third party trying to manipulate situations. I can see it plain as fat as they are really obvious but they seem oblivious. I thought this person clever enough to see it too.

Is it lack of common sense or intelligence or do they go hand in hand? I really don’t want to sound pretentious but I find myself understanding/being able to see things better than other people a lot even when I thought them very clever. Can anyone relate or AIBU?

This

The difference I can see in my 2 DC, one very academically bright - little common sense, the other way round for DD!

Critical thinking
Emotional intelligence
Common sense

Are all different things.

Some people I've worked with climb to the top of the tree with ease because they are socially intelligent and know how to talk the talk, despite knowing very little about anything. A lot of highly educated or successful people have a very narrow field of knowledge because they generally focus on what will enrich their circumstances. Some people have more meandering interests and curiosities that provide them with a wealth of knowledge. I have a good degree but never been promoted, yet I'm always asked to be on the quiz team

It's a mix of abilities, some learned from book's, some from watching other characters e.g. Lionel luthor from smallville, ect, as long as you remember the different perspectives it all adds up to wisdom.

The "book learning" vs "common sense" thing is slightly misleading. Both of these are learned forms of intelligence which reflect the cultural values of the people who taught you (usually your parents).

If you grew up in an environment which valued reading a lot of books, critical thinking and analysis, you are taught to emphasise these values. If you grew up in an environment that valued being able to tinker with an engine or do a household budget over this, another set of values is prioritised.

It doesn't necessarily reflect your innate ability at these skills, just what your parents believed was most important.

In my view being able to think critically and what we spend our spare time doing; researching, being curious about life and others, understanding theory and sociology = a higher level of intelligence over the certificates people hold

This. So many people lack curiosity about the world around them.

So many things.

You have no idea if you see everything or pick up on everything. How would you know? There could be people in your life saying ‘can’t believe they don’t understand/don’t see that’. If you don’t spot it, you don’t know you missed it.

You are comparing things that can’t be compared. That’s like asking why an Olympic long distance runner, isn’t good at Javlin

The friend who doesn’t understand you - that could be your communication style is at odds with theirs. If you want to communicate with this person, then anyone with communication skills would infact know that and change it up.

You seem really convinced that you possess more or better skills that others. Where in reality we all just have different skill sets.

I can see it plain as fat

do you think your friend doesn’t understand you as you make up sayings that aren’t typical? It’s plain as day. I’m assuming it’s a typo but that’s pretty ironic if it isn’t!

I know some people, really clever, phd, could be a professor, sometimes I need to look up the fancy words they use in emails. But zero common sense and can make absolutely stupid, sometimes dangerous decisions. Could not organise themselves out of a paper bag.

I work in a career that takes a lot of studying to do the job, a lot of in depth knowledge about the subject and processes and Im quite knowledgeable in this career and I'm pretty successful and good at what I do.... In work.

Apart from that. I'm a fucking idiot.

I bloody love ‘plain as fat’.

I don’t care if it’s autocorrect, I’m having it.

My bil, brains to burn, think mastermind and university challenge, had to be taught how to use a mobile and cant match colours/ style for his clothes. Sometimes think it's down to his motivation for these kind of things though. It's very funny as she openly calls him a stupid b despite her being the 'less educated one'. He just laughs.

I've got three 'O' level certificates somewhere which I was going to have framed and hung on the wall near the front door, so that trades people and, possibly, the postman can see how clever I am.

Unfortunately I can't remember which shoebox I've put them in and there are so many boxes under my bed I haven't had the time to search them out.

So I made a badge with the information on, which I can wear if someone is coming round. I cleverly reused the extra large badge I got for my birthday that states 'I am 18'. (I'm a lot older now!)

I didn't put the actually grades on the badge because I thought that might be a bit pretentious - and anyway they weren't that good.

Sometimes not seeing manipulation is a choice. I choose, on the whole, to see the best in people. Someone cuts me up, maybe they are in a rush. I don't do it for their sake, I do it for mine because I find a more positive mindset makes me more mellow and happier. It's not that I am going to give away cash to a Nigerian prince but if I can think that they are doing it because they don't have access to the education and opportunities I have it makes me feel less angry and more compassion.

The brain can only process so much information. People who are intelligent or knowledgeable tend to be so in specific areas.

I can be like your friend, I consider myself reasonably intelligent but sometimes I take an extra few seconds to process what someone is saying. Not diagnosed but Iooking at the symptoms of auditory processing disorder and I match, often goes with ADHD which I have.

Actually a lot of people with apd will say 'pardon' or 'huh' after someone has spoken just to buy a few more seconds for thier brain to get things in order.

Different skills and talents! I don't believe we have yet reached a point where we can accurately measure "intelligence" but hopefully the more agile-minded are moving towards a point where we can value diverse contributions.

Can totally relate.

I often find in groups the chattiest, loudest, confident people don't have a clue what they're actually talking about.

My sister in law is a senior scientist and when I was pregnant she was advising stuff I knew was incorrect but due to her status felt uncomfortable correcting her even though I knew I was right (I did a lot of NHS checking and research while expecting and when littles were born.)

Even at a playgroup yesterday a women was talking about the strikes and I said they'd been postponed due to the queen's death and the lady was like no no they're happening now.

I often find friends saying 'so and so is lovely' or being coerced by men and I'm like 'hello earth to you' can you not see they are using you.

I've struggled with this as I don't have the confidence to be like I'm wrong you're right and tend to be a people pleaser buy go away from a lot of social interactions like 'were they for real?'. My family are from abroad but attended some the best university's in the world. I was raised in the UK and didn't experience this lifestyle but I think a lot can be said for innate emotional intelligence and common sense

Yep my sister has a really good degree but hardly any common sense or general knowledge .

Also had to explain the energy price cap to my well educated friend yesterday who was happily telling me her bill is going to be capped at £2500 cos Liz Truss promised.

I have a 2:1 degree but not clever at all. Quite stupid sometimes I think. Defo great at reading people and situations, ie always right when I think people are lying / manipulating etc but have such little knowledge on general knowledge and quite air head like in day to day life.

It can sometimes be hard to be objective when you're in the tick of a situation - it's hard to be truly objective. That may account for people not seeing that they are being manipulated - it's much easier to spot as an 'outsider'. But you're right, being clever and having common sense are not the same thing necessarily!

Having a degree and being a manager don’t necessarily mean you are intelligent. Some people can ‘talk the talk’, giving the appearance that they are. I’m the opposite in that I consider myself fairly intelligent but I’m socially anxious and therefore very unlikely to come across as such, plus I have zero interest in having a career, so would be judged on that too. Also, intelligence is a different thing to common sense.

Totally agree!

Dh is extremely bright with numerate things but not so at language. He writes quite badly (I've rewritten CVs and other important documents for him many times). He misses a lot of language subtleties and I've often wondered if he is the same at work verbally. He is fine with factual type writing eg research reports.

I'm very good at writing and the technical aspects of my job but I'm scatty and disorganised.

UK PhDs are not always terribly demanding, I know lots of people who did them who really weren't the most intelligent.

Oh and I definitely do better than peers who are "cleverer" because I can "talk the talk". I communicate well in a crisis, deadlines/pressure bring out the best in me and I am persuasive when in my area of technical expertise

Language is SO important. I'm amazed by how many people fuck up important things by communicating badly