My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To pay for friend ?

32 replies

Sunnytree90 · 16/09/2022 12:58

I've taken on extra hours (overtime on top of working FT) in my day job. Its quite exhausting. I would like to book a spa for the day with my friend to chill. I've got a special price/deal. I would really like to pay for her (£80 each) as she is my bestie and has treated me to things in past (but not on this value/scale). I can afford the £80 each and I cant. I could use the money to put towards debt. TBH I have so much debt that just the cost of my friend (£80) is merely a months minimum payment on my store card and it wont make a dent in what I owe what so ever. £80 is an xmas gift for my parents. £80 is my hair being cut and coloured at a decent salon near me (hair is long overdue). Paying £80 for the spa for me is more than doable. I really want to pay for her too but I also know there are so many things that the money could be used for too.

You only live once and you don't know what is around the corner.

Thoughts ?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

109 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
88%
You are NOT being unreasonable
12%
FlimFlamJimJams · 16/09/2022 13:04

Always pay off debt first.
Don't go to the spa - put that £160 towards the debt.
Find a free, or at least cheaper, way to unwind.

SparklyLeprechaun · 16/09/2022 13:04

It's up to you and your priorities. If I had to take on extra hours so I can pay off a debt, I wouldn't waste £160 on a spa day, I would put it towards the debt.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 16/09/2022 13:04

Well it's clear why you're in so much debt!

Who do you think should pay off your debts that will never be cleared while you go on spa days?

yonce · 16/09/2022 13:05

Putting £80 towards the debt will make a dent in it, an £80 dent plus the saved interest. £160 (which is what you'd be spending if you're paying for both of you) would put an even bigger dent in it!

lisavanderpumpscloset · 16/09/2022 13:06

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 16/09/2022 13:04

Well it's clear why you're in so much debt!

Who do you think should pay off your debts that will never be cleared while you go on spa days?

A little harsh but I agree. You have debts. You owe money. Clear them. Pay what you owe. THEN go on your spa day

Hymnulop · 16/09/2022 13:07

Please speak to step change for advice.

BaileySharp · 16/09/2022 13:08

I gave up on colouring hair because it's too expensive. Just a cut usually not too bad. As lovely as it would be to treat your friend I think you need to pay off your debt first otherwise you'll never get it sorted

buttergloss · 16/09/2022 13:10

To be blunt you shouldn't be using £80 towards anything you have listed whilst you are in so much debt let alone paying for a friend to do something you cannot afford to do yourself.

anotherpotoftea · 16/09/2022 13:18

Why not spend the day with your friend doing something less expensive together?

Stompythedinosaur · 16/09/2022 13:30

£80 is not a small or throw away amount of money. Put it towards debts.

AnchorWHAT · 16/09/2022 13:33

Buy a couple of face masks and invite your friend round for a home ‘spa’ ridiculous spending money when you are in debt.

Rainbowqueeen · 16/09/2022 13:36

Find another way to chill that involves spending nothing.
Focus on paying off your debt so you don’t need to do so much overtime and suffer from tiredness. Can you even see the connection between the 2??
Go and see Stepchange. You need some help in changing your view on money.

Whereas you have the “you only live once so let’s spend money approach” I feel your life would be less stressful and more enjoyable if you thought “you only live once it’s great I only need to work my standard hours and I have lots of energy and time for the people I love”

FinallyHere · 16/09/2022 13:40

I wouldn't relax in a spa knowing I had borrowed from my future to pay for it.

There is nothing better than the feeling of being debt free. Focus on paying down debt first. You will feel much better.

EndTheMonacyNow · 16/09/2022 13:45

This has the feel of a reverse or something similar?

diddl · 16/09/2022 13:54

£80 each is a good price/a present for parents/a haircut?

I'm maybe way behind the times here, but I can possibly see why you are in debt!

orbitalcrisis · 16/09/2022 14:04

Pay off your debts before paying for spa days, hair cuts and expensive gifts for friends and family. Contact a debt charity. Store cards are one of the worst interest rates of all debts, you'll probably be better off getting a small bank loan or a credit transfer and paying it off as quickly as you can.

carefullycourageous · 16/09/2022 14:05

I am not in debt and wouldn't spend £160 on a spa day. You would be better to put £140 towards your debt and have your friend round to your house to watch a nice film and have a couple of nice drinks.

Seriously, that is a big amount of money if you don't have it to spare - and you don't.

mybest · 16/09/2022 15:00

you owe money but are planning on spending £160 at a spa? Is this a joke?

Tessasanderson · 16/09/2022 15:04

Its pretty clear why you are in debt if you are happy to spend £160 on a 'treat' for you and a friend whilst in debt and working extra hours.

Ask your friend if she would rather you clear some of your debt or pay for a treat. If she is a friend she will tell you to pay some of your debt

BadLad · 16/09/2022 15:09

Thoughts ?

Stupid as anything I've read on here.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 16/09/2022 15:58

Just pay off your debts.
I'd be mortified if a friend , in substantial debt, treated me to a pricey spa treatment.

ICanHideButICantRun · 16/09/2022 16:03

FFS, you owe a lot of money. How could you relax in a spa knowing that you could pay that off your debts, or at least put the money to one side for future bills?

Why do you feel the need to be a benefactor to your friend? Does it make you feel good? Why not buy a bottle of wine and ask her round to yours?

MarinoRoyale · 16/09/2022 16:04

If you carry on like this, debt collection is around the corner!

TheShadowLine · 16/09/2022 16:07

If you were my friend I’d prefer you to not waste your money on me if you were up to your tits in debt.

Neolara · 16/09/2022 16:12

If I was your friend and I knew you were in debt, I would be hugely embarrassed if you paid £80 for me to attend a spa day. And I would think you were nuts to do it.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.