For partner to react like this to a disagreement

[ishak]

He stormed off and left me.
I had no transport.
He came back in a foul mood and insisted we leave the venue. He refused to engage with me.
The argument wasn't serious, it was a misunderstanding but his reaction to me was huge and inappropriate.
We left the venue.He did not speak to me for three hours in the car and then refused to return my call or
Message when we got home.
Anyone else experience this?
The relationship is over now but he keeps contacting me despite being adamant that he was right and his actions were acceptable.
I need to make sure I never engage with a man like this again.
I can't think of a red flag before hand that would have alerted me to this reaction.

Be happy it's over. This won't be a one off.

what was the reason?

I was grumpy and tired. He was annoyed that I wasn't really in the mood to talk and then when I came round after a rest and asked to do something, he flipped out ( because I was so rude) so I went off myself for a walk and met a cousin for a coffee for a couple of hours.
That's when he completely flipped out.

Do any of you think that this is reasonable!? I never discussed this with anyone. It just felt so off and extreme.
He shut me down when I tried to talk it through and apologised for my tiredness and grumpiness but he ignored me for days.

I think it depends how 'rude' you were, tbh.

Either way, you don't sound well-suited, you have said the relationship is over and that sounds like the right choice for you.

How rude were you?! Tiredness is not an excuse to use your partner as an emotional punchbag. So how 'grumpy' were you?

You've used the term 'flipped out' a couple of times. Can you elaborate further on what that means exactly? Because hearing it from your point of view only, his reaction does sound extreme. But you have also mentioned you left for a couple of hours first. You then say he stormed off. But perhaps he would describe you leaving first as storming off too? What was the venue you mentioned in your first post? Leaving for 2 hours is quite a long time!

I fell asleep during the journey and then was quiet afterwards. I did explain that I was ta red and had a rough week.
I'm normally chatty and full of beans but I had finished my first week at work after a long summer break.
When we reached our destination he relaxed on his phone and I did the same separately.
When I came round and asked him if we could go for a walk or a coffee, it was a Flat no because I had been rude by not being chatty. I wasn't rude in what I said. I was rude by not engaging according to him.
I went out then for a walk and met my cousin for coffee and he was foaming at the mouth when I got back. The rest as they say is history.

The scenario makes no sense. If you left him in a strip and were with your cousin for two hours then how was he the one that stormed off?

How long ago was this?

Whatever the ins and outs of it were , it sounds as if you both need to be able to communicate properly and not strop off .

Did you say where you were going or just disappear?

He started storming around the house, slamming doors and ignoring me when I asked if we could sort it out.
He said no we were leaving to go home.
We were on a mini break.
This happened on our first night.
He then ignored me for the rest of the day including the journey and would not return
Calls or messages.
I had enough and finished the relationship.
I've had years of emotional abuse in a marriage so this felt off.

I hope I've clarified things now

Nobody should have to put up with that but your posts don't really make sense. How can you be stranded if you were with your cousin?

I can understand him being a bit upset if there was an uncomfortable atmosphere on the journey, but it doesn't in any way excuse his awful behaviour.

This you're close enough to where family are to have an impromptu coffee with a cousin but stranded?

My cousin lives near to the village we were visiting.and came to meet me .She could have driven me home but it was a number of hours away and she has a young family so I would not have asked didn't have my own car. He drove.

It's impossible to say from your account who was in the right or wrong because we're only hearing your side of the story from your point of view.

Thinking of my own experiences and past relationships, I can think of at least one occasion where an ex basically sulked for hours and wouldn't tell me why, then suddenly decided he was ready to talk to me again with no explanation, and I didn't want to go out for a walk with him at that point either because he'd been giving me virtually silent treatment all afternoon while we sat in a hotel room wasting a weekend away. He was basically just deliberately controlling the mood so I had to walk on eggshells not knowing when he was going to nice boyfriend or nasty boyfriend and would be scared not to cater to his every whim in case that triggered another sulk. So for all we know, that might be your partner's interpretation of your behaviour. I'm not saying your partner wasn't being a dick, but it's impossible for anyone here to know that from your account alone.

Either way, though, it doesn't matter now. You clearly weren't suited and you've split up, so continuing to debate who was or wasn't right in an argument is just a big waste of your time and energy. Move on from it.

• so I went off myself for a walk and met a cousin for a coffee for a couple of hours. That's when he completely flipped out.*

Congratulate yourself on recognising that he was being unreasonable and getting away from him. The fact that he is now still convinced he was right and wants you to come to heel is just further proof.

This is how you avoid being in an abusive relationship: by not putting up with being treated badly.

I had enough and finished the relationship.
I've had years of emotional abuse in a marriage so this felt off.

OK, just seen this update.

You know, these two lines are the only thing that matter here at all! Whatever happened, you felt something was off - something that you recognised from your abusive ex-husband - and therefore you were absolutely right to end the relationship. It doesn't matter who got in a mood and who upset who: it is never, ever unreasonable to end a relationship in which you don't feel safe and comfortable.

So you were sullen and then went to sleep in the car while he drove alone as if he were your chauffeur.
Then when you "came around" and he started acting sulky right back at you, you ditched him because you were lucky enough to have family near by.

Sorry but I would be pissed off with you too.

I explained that I was exhausted and that I was going to have a nap

Depends on the person, some people would be fine with that, I personally would find it really entitled. As the driver what if I'm exhausted too, then what happens? We just dont go?
You've had a long summer break and have only been working a week, now on a mini break. How exhausted could you be?
Also how long did it take you to "come around"? So you basically slept through the trip then dicked around on your phone before suggesting a coffee? It sounds like a really kill joy attitude to a weekend away