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AIBU?

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Original poster

Embarrassed to request annual leave after being on long-term sick leave

115 replies

Fghikb · 15/09/2022 23:27

I was on sick leave due to poor mental health for 3 months this year. I’ve got 22 days of annual leave to try and take before 31 December, but I can’t bring myself to request it. I have to send an email to all my colleagues to request the dates and I’m embarrassed to, as I’ve only been back 2 months, and on reduced hours.

Sometimes I just think about letting it go. Other times I think I need a break, but then when I go onto the rota to look at requesting dates and I see how many sick days I’ve had this year my heart sinks and I can’t bring myself to do it

OP posts:
mybest · 15/09/2022 23:28

understandable

bloodywhitecat · 15/09/2022 23:30

You do still need a break and it could be very important for your mental health.

FrequentUser2022 · 15/09/2022 23:31

You're entitled to it, so please take & don't worry what others may think.

MbatataOwl · 15/09/2022 23:32

Take annual leave and use it to find another job.

coconutpie · 15/09/2022 23:33

You are entitled to take your annual leave, regardless of being on sick leave or not. Do not feel guilty at all.

Barleysugar86 · 15/09/2022 23:35

I think you should just plough through and take it, I doubt your colleagues will think about it much. I came back with two months worth from maternity and damn right I took that!

underneaththeash · 15/09/2022 23:35

If you feel bad - email them and ask when you can work around their holidays.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 15/09/2022 23:36

22 days is a whole working month. Maybe have a week and let the rest go.

AspireMe · 15/09/2022 23:37

What? I thought it was illegal for companies not to give you your annual leave if you haven't taken it? I don't think you "can" let it go - or they will find themselves in legal trouble. (This is just going by experience in companies/industries I work/have worked in).

Wolfiefan · 15/09/2022 23:38

You only had sick days because you weren’t well enough to work. You weren’t having a holiday.
Book the dates. Avoid burnout and more sick leave!

Oinkypig · 15/09/2022 23:41

Definitely take it. Ask if you can roll some to next year or if you can be paid instead if it’s not
going to be easy before December. Or ask what days you can be off without it being tricky. The fact you are worried about what your colleagues think makes me think they won’t be worried about you at all.

LaraLei · 15/09/2022 23:50

Understandable. Work through
of you can. Currently working long hours because of colleague on constant sick leave.

Lochjeda · 15/09/2022 23:52

I genuinely wouldn't think anything bad of this if I were your colleague. Sick leave is very different from annual leave. Just put in a week for the next three months.

Hibernationsetting · 15/09/2022 23:52

@AspireMe not true. Employers are only legally enforced to roll your leave if you have been off sick, on maternity leave or they haven’t allowed you to use it.

orherwise, it’s up to an employee to take it and discretionary to allow roll over/payment in lieu.

TheSpringyGuyAndTheCheeseEater · 15/09/2022 23:55

LaraLei · 15/09/2022 23:50

Understandable. Work through
of you can. Currently working long hours because of colleague on constant sick leave.

This is because your employer has not pulled in additional temporary staff or reallocated responsibilities appropriately. It is not the fault of the colleague who is unwell.

TheSpringyGuyAndTheCheeseEater · 15/09/2022 23:58

OP take the leave. Annual leave and sick leave are entirely different things. If you feel it may disrupt your build up to normal working hours and/ or ability to deliver on your workload - to take so much annual leave in a short period - then speak to your employer about rolling over some of it into next year. As you were unwell for a significant amount of time, it's quite normal to do that. However, if that isn't necessary and it would be helpful to you to take it this year, then do so. That is what it is for. Your colleague's opinions should play no part in this decision.

LittleMissSushi · 16/09/2022 00:06

I understand how you feel and would probably feel the same, however your employer would go by the book in terms of getting the most out of you that they could and were entitled to you, so you should do the same imho.

Ask yourself this: if you'd missed those months having chemo, or similar, would you still feel this level of guilt over taking the AL you're legally entitled to?

Mental health is just as valid an illness as any other.

If you quit tomorrow, no matter how good an employer they may be, they'd have a job advert out within the week. Take the leave.

BoredOfGrey22 · 16/09/2022 00:08

It's a legal requirement
You are entitled to it

You should definitely take it!
You deserve annual Leave and time off work that isn't for a medical condition

Skidaramink · 16/09/2022 00:24

As a compromise, how about not taking any holiday that accrued while you were off sick? So if you’ve been off sick 3 months, only take 3 quarters of your holiday entitlement for the year?

I do think it wouldn’t look at all good if you took it all. We had a secretary at work who had 4 months off with stress and when she came back almost immediately started booking time off for holidays, using her full holiday entitlement, including holiday accrued while she was off sick. We were all flabbergasted (including our HR guy), and she got managed out the following year. It really lost her a lot of goodwill.

3 months off sick is a long time and I do think you need to be careful, especially as there may well be a recession around the corner.

SophieIsHereToday · 16/09/2022 00:25

Fghikb · 15/09/2022 23:27

I was on sick leave due to poor mental health for 3 months this year. I’ve got 22 days of annual leave to try and take before 31 December, but I can’t bring myself to request it. I have to send an email to all my colleagues to request the dates and I’m embarrassed to, as I’ve only been back 2 months, and on reduced hours.

Sometimes I just think about letting it go. Other times I think I need a break, but then when I go onto the rota to look at requesting dates and I see how many sick days I’ve had this year my heart sinks and I can’t bring myself to do it

I had an employee in this situation. I really wanted her to take it because it was the best way for her to cope with stress. I had to tell her that I was really pleased she was back but her health was important to myself, the team and her, she needed the holiday to readjust.

Your manager might feel just the same. Discuss your concerns. How you feel about letting colleagues down. They will respect you for thinking about others but I imagine they will encourage you to take it.

Another option could be to carry some of it over to next year, so maybe ask for that. You get the break you need and protect your colleagues. This is standard for things like mat leave.

LadyLolaRuben · 16/09/2022 00:37

You were sick OP, too ill to work or do anything. Now you're better, you are fit to work and holiday. Many people I know who have had sick leave, then go onto holiday leave to recharge before return. Dont feel guilty, thats your rightful leave from duty to relax. Try not to over think it. Maybe just ask colleagues what dates would best suit them for you to be off

cstaff · 16/09/2022 01:09

I was off sick for 4 months 7 years ago for an operation and there was never any question of me not taking the holidays I had left. In fact I probably needed them more that year more than any other. Take them and look after yourself. You will not be remembered as the one who didn't take her holidays this year, believe me.

Jenna2212 · 16/09/2022 01:17

You are entitled to it. Having poor mental health can be a miserable time. It is not as though you have been jollying it up.

If I was in your situation OP, I would pull my weight for a few weeks, perhaps work some overtime (mental health permitting) and then ask to use the annual leave. You are entitled to leisure leave.

WildfellAnne · 16/09/2022 01:19

I can’t believe people are saying not to take your leave. You must take it. It’s there for your health and well-being. If you don’t take it, it’s like you are wilfully and irresponsibly not taking care of your health or need to rest and recuperate. Your leave is separate to your sickness absence.

BarbedButterfly · 16/09/2022 01:24

I am actually quite annoyed at the attitude that someone should be so embarrassed to have taken needed sick leave that they should forfeit their annual leave.

If you have extra work because a colleague is off sick then that is the fault of management and I say that as a manager myself. It is all very well on one hand saying be kind and championing mental health support and on the other implying someone should make up looking after yourself to other colleagues.

The truth is, in the majority of work environments, we are all just another cog in the machine. Your priority should always be to yourself and your family. Of course do your job, but we are not robots.and sometimes we get sick and need time off to recover. You won't recover if you martyr yourself and don't take leave.