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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed to request annual leave after being on long-term sick leave

115 replies

Fghikb · 15/09/2022 23:27

I was on sick leave due to poor mental health for 3 months this year. I’ve got 22 days of annual leave to try and take before 31 December, but I can’t bring myself to request it. I have to send an email to all my colleagues to request the dates and I’m embarrassed to, as I’ve only been back 2 months, and on reduced hours.

Sometimes I just think about letting it go. Other times I think I need a break, but then when I go onto the rota to look at requesting dates and I see how many sick days I’ve had this year my heart sinks and I can’t bring myself to do it

OP posts:
Travis1 · 16/09/2022 21:58

Actually disgusted with some of the responses on here. op was sick not off on her jollies. Use your annual leave and do not feel guilty about it. At the end it f the day if push came to shove your employer wouldn’t be long in cutting you off if if suited them

WildImaginings · 16/09/2022 22:01

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 15/09/2022 23:36

22 days is a whole working month. Maybe have a week and let the rest go.

Do NOT do this. It's your annual leave and you are entitled by law to take it. Attitudes like this are so bloody harmful.

WildImaginings · 16/09/2022 22:04

Really fucking hope I never have to work for some of the people on this thread. Some of the attitudes and suggestions are appalling- encouraging someone not to take their LEGAL ENTITLEMENT of annual leave! Christ on a bike.

PMAmostofthetime · 16/09/2022 22:04

@Fghikb I work in a team and some of my colleagues have needed sick leave for various reasons and then needed to use up their leave. Honestly I do not begrudge them. Sick leave it not pleasurable at all and everyone needs a break.

However one colleague was on long term sick and was sending us selfies in her hot tub drinking gin and on holiday. It really annoyed me when she asked if I really needed the days I had booked as she wanted the same ones.

Take your leave your entitled to it.

Axlcat · 16/09/2022 22:10

Please use your annual leave. It’s so important that you take it after the tough time you’ve been having.

I work in HR and would be actively encouraging you to take it and speaking to your manager to make sure you felt supported to do so.

Anyone who has an issue with it isn’t worth a second thought and is clearly unable to understand what sick leave is. Mental health should be treated exactly the same as physical and you wouldn’t be expected to not take your leave if you’d been away battling a serious physical illness.

SophieIsHereToday · 16/09/2022 22:37

Fghikb · 16/09/2022 13:10

Wow I didn't expect this to get so many responses

When I say that I'm on reduced hours, I'm currently back to full-time hours but the hours had slowly been ramping up over the past 2 months since being back (e.g. for the past month I've worked until 4pm instead of 5pm).

My manager had mentioned before that I need to book some holiday, and I said I would but I don't think he realises how guilty and conflicted I feel about booking it. I might mention it to him next week and see what he says.

Definitely mention it to you. I bet he will be on your side from what you have said

Jumprope309 · 17/09/2022 14:54

Employees can not be paid for untaken annual leave, with the exception of when leaving an organisation.

If the OP can’t take all the leave before the end of the year then she should be allowed to carry 4 weeks of leave forward to be used within 18 months. She is entitled to those days leave and her employee should be looking at ways to enable her to use them.

sevenbyseven · 17/09/2022 15:40

Jumprope309 · 17/09/2022 14:54

Employees can not be paid for untaken annual leave, with the exception of when leaving an organisation.

If the OP can’t take all the leave before the end of the year then she should be allowed to carry 4 weeks of leave forward to be used within 18 months. She is entitled to those days leave and her employee should be looking at ways to enable her to use them.

Some companies (my employer included) let you sell back untaken leave as long as you've taken the statutory minimum already.

mycatisannoying · 17/09/2022 15:46

I couldn't do it.

Original poster
Fghikb · 23/09/2022 20:42

I was chatting with a family member earlier about my annual leave and how I don't want to take it and I started tearing up, it's really getting to me as I feel like I need a break, but I can't bring myself to ask for any. The platform we use to log holiday is the same as logging sickness and when I see all of my sick days I just get upset

OP posts:
blackheartsgirl · 23/09/2022 20:49

I was off for 3 months earlier on in the year with a heart problem and stress.

I had a lot of leave left, I’ve took it all. Work was part of the reason why I was off. Sod em

hippoherostandinghere · 23/09/2022 20:56

I was off sick for 3 months at the start of the year as my mum died. When I came back I had a lot of leave to use up as the new leave year had started. I took 4 weeks off in the summer and it was the best thing for me. I used that time to de- stress and do things I enjoyed as the 3 months that I was off sick were very stressful leave.

Please, use your leave. You need it and you'll benefit from it. I'm pleased your manager is supportive and I'm sure your colleagues will be too.

happygertie · 23/09/2022 22:07

Take your leave. Where I work I can carry 5
Days over so maybe see if you can add some to next year, but do not lose it, you are entitled to it. If your colleagues resent you it says more about them, and god forbid they end up in a similar situation one day. Share your concerns with your manager, I think maybe just off loading your concerns might make you feel better, esp as your manager is likely to encourage you to take your leave. Fuck your colleagues!

Bottomofthepileasusual · 23/09/2022 22:24

You should take it. Don't feel bad about it. I know it's hard but you are entitled to it.

Have a week every month or do shorter weeks for the next few months if that's easier for you

BoredOfGrey22 · 24/09/2022 09:05

Take your annual leave and stop feeling bad about it. For goodness sake, apart from anything else it's a legal requirement not a personal choice!

If you don't take it your employer would be breaching your employment contract.

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