Did you peak in high school?

[Itsfridayiminpub]

Or know people that did?

What are you/they like now?

All right Regina George 😂

No, it’s definitely been the case at my school. The girls that were all limbs at school are now tall and slim, the early developers with big boobs are not more likely to be shorter and overweight. And in my view the ‘pretty girls’ at school weren’t pretty per se, just had inoffensive features, long blonde hair and those much-wanted big boobs. Their faces haven’t really suited the ageing process and now they just look totally ordinary.

Definitely not! It came as a huge surprise to me when I started attracting male attention in my mid 20's as I had been a very skinny and awkward looking teenager and young adult.

Increased self confidence, having more money for nice clothes and putting on a little bit of weight seemed to be the difference. When I look at old photos I think I actually peaked in my early to mid 30's and I remember I used to get chatted up quite a bit at work but was very happily married by then.

Now 52 and happily invisible to anyone but my DH.

Nope. Not a myth at all. All the people with genuine beauty, intelligence etc were the swans and bullied at the secondary schools I went to (5 different schools).

The people who were "popular" at that age are now almost all fat, depressed, living with mediocre men and appear to be rather miserable. They certainly weren't the most intelligent: one of their criteria for bullying people that I observed at each of said schools was to bully intelligent people. Also any girls who were slim: they'd call them "lanky" for being late developers who would late end up with model-type bodies that wouldn't sag, while their oversized early developing breasts now look like spaniels ears.

What they didn't get was that the teenage boys who were into them then didn't view it as a long-term plan, and were not interested by the time they were a size 14 aged 20. Even less so when 30 and a size 18-22.

Meanwhile the "awkward" girls have gone off and left these miserable places behind, blossomed into those swans and have careers and money and are still slim and fit in their 30s and 40s and having a great life.

Obviously the above doesn't apply to all, but there is a strong correlation in what I've seen from the many schools I attended and the posts people make/ their photos, many years later. It's quite funny sometimes, although I try not to laugh about it because that seems unkind.

Have you not watched Romy and Michelle's HS Reunion?! We all know the popular kids get pregnant with 50 billion kids and their jock husband turns into a drunk, the weird kids get rich and the middle of the road kids didn't even know they were regarded as cool. Durrr!

Well fair enough, not my experience but I guess every school is different. One thing I definitely don't agree with though is that "lanky" teens were considered ugly, but are now as adults considered tall and slim and beautiful. Being lanky ie tall and slim was beautiful back then too! That's just something models say in magazine articles to try to sound relatable.

Btw I'm not saying this as a person who was an attractive teen. I was socially awkward and overweight, and I still am, and always will be. Meanwhile the slim, beautiful folks, still are as well.

The most fabulous girl at school that everyone wanted to be like is a hairdresser. Nothing against that I was one myself before starting a new career but I think everyone thought she would be Miss World or something.

Also any girls who were slim: they'd call them "lanky" for being late developers who would late end up with model-type bodies that wouldn't sag, while their oversized early developing breasts now look like spaniels ears.

And sorry but this just sounds bitter and not true anyway. It's exactly what I mean when I say the whole idea of peaking in high school is a fantasy. So the shy types now all have "models bodys" and the popular types are all "fat with breasts like spaniels ears", really? Come on. And a bit of a gross way to talk about women isn't it? And I'm saying this as an ugly reject in high school.

It you had big boobs at my school; you were considered beautiful, even if you were overweight and clearly not a beauty. It was all about the boobs back in the early 90s.

it could be a time thing - I was at secondary school in the 2000s. It definitely wasn’t seen as attractive to be thin - the desirable figure was average weight and height with big boobs. Long blonde or dark brown straight shiny hair was a bonus, as was good skin and enough money to buy fashionable clothes.

I looked like a prey mantis in secondary school and had no money so that was never me!

Nah peaked in my mid 20s, can still get a few looks from the dads on the school run if I make an effort not to look like I’ve crawled out of a skip (which isn’t often)
Peaked in a confidence and killing it academically/work wise much later. I did okay at school, and then was distinctly average at college when I discovered clubbing and boys. It has been a revelation to me later in life how academic success doesn’t automatically equal a brilliant job with all the trappings. I’ve found being tenacious and having the right contacts plus the confidence to take a risk much more important at work.

I went to a rough, northern comprehensive and there is a definite pattern with the popular girls who seemed to peak at school, having kids very early and looking prematurely aged now. Having 3 grandkids at 38 will do that I guess.

All the beautiful mean girls I know went into nursing.. terrifying prospect if you ask ,me that said the way the nhs is going your gonna need some big balls to tackle that shit storm.

All got married had babies and all still lovely looking, kids life ext have made them all distinctly less shiny.

I agree that the girls considered attractive in school were not the tall thin model types, and certainly not the studious ones. They were the small curvy blondes who wore make up and shortened their skirts and were loud and confident and would skip lessons. As far as I'm aware this was still the case when DS was in high school 6 years ago, though maybe its changed now.
Stands to reason when those setting the criteria for attractiveness are teen boys, who typically have a very different view on the matter than mature adult women.

I was popular at school but crippled underneath with anxiety and depression which other kids didn’t really know. In and out of therapy behind the scenes. I was popular at Uni, but struggling with trauma due to sexual assault and drug dependence. Amazing counsellor at Uni who helped. I don’t think people knew really either. I seemed loud, confident, glamourous, had so much male attention, but I was so promiscuous because I was unhappy. In my 20s I had an amazing job, looked v good and had so much male attention but binge drank my way through those years. People would have thought I was at my peak, but was I? My 30s my career was still good and I had my child with a man who sent me crazy but who I clung to. If you saw me on Facebook I was living my best life, photos with celebrities from time to time due to work. But it was a tough time in my mind. Now in my 40s, I have stopped drinking, drugs, I have found some healthy hobbies, I am definitely far less physically attractive but I am the most content I have ever been. This is possibly my peak in terms of my mental state and inner peace, but someone else would probably judge my life differently if they looked me up on social media. I don’t really get this ‘peak’ thing. Every decade has had ups and down, and how you look is meaningless really when it comes to how you feel.

I think this is quite rare though, and is mainly just an awkward person's fantasy - that the social, good looking people will end up ugly with crap jobs at age 22. Nah, doesn't work like that. Things like social skills, fashion sense, looks, body size and shape, intelligence and charisma are lifelong characteristics.

I do believe that long-term popularity - or lack thereof - in the developing phase has lifelong consequences.

What I have noticed is that many of the popular girls in my school have failed their dream lives (all sorts, including living abroad, being a model, film star, just generally living that life of glamour). They all have ordinary lives now, the cool smokers have definitely aged more with their habit. Three were pregnant by the time we left sixth form.

The cool boys fared worse, partially because being cool also meant messing around, not getting the grades and generally just not being able to show respect to authority. It hasn't served them well in real life and while some have managed to grow up, some of the most popular boys from my school time can barely hold down a job.

I went to a grammar school, so we were all intelligent, but the top 5% who actively engaged were still bullied relentlessly. And we did also have an outsider group, who were all a bit awkward and shy, often not thin, usually without fashion sense and just not mainstream.

The vast majority of this group have gone on to shine after high school. Most of the fat girls are now thin and sport a youthful look. Most of the plain girls have developed varied, but interesting styles. The top students academically have all gone on to life success (I know, I am one of them). One awkward girl is making her name abroad as a punk singer.

The point is, when you spend your youth being popular, it changes how you see life. We have seen it on here in the pretty women threads that keep popping up - there are genuinely people whose life is easier when they conform to beauty standards. It means that they never have had to work or try too hard to achieve success, and that does, eventually, lead to poorer outcomes.

I believe that the people who struggled in high school kept working hard - they've always had to, to overcome not fitting in. That work ethic sticks, and so does the work towards trying to fit in, hence why so many of us found their style and actively keep fit.

This isn't about US cliches. It's proven by research (just look at how differently golden children and black sheep of narcissist parents develop) and applies in high school social circles, too.

I peaked around 35/36 and it's been downhill ever since.

There was one girl who all the teachers thought was amazing and clever, she became a physics teacher so i guess she was pretty clever!
The "pretty girl" also became a teacher and is dept head so also successful.

I definitely did not peak in senior school, i needed to learn how to use a hairdryer and put on makeup that was actually for my skin colour 🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The girl everyone wanted to be in my year at school, who was beautiful but incredibly dense, is now a mother of eight, a grandmother of two and looks like each child aged her five years.

Yeah kind of. I went to a RG Uni got a good degree and a decent career but not stellar

@unicormb , but is she happy, how's her mental health? Peaking isn't just about looks.

OP...I'm still waiting to peak...I'm 58 🤣

Hell no. I hated school after it felt like they 'gave up' on me.
I moved on.. no contact with anyone from there, no reunions, nothing! I get happier as I get older. :-)

Interesting question!

I went to a rough school in a deprived area and the popular kids were the ones either going out with older teen boy racer types (which is so wrong looking back) or out drinking/ smoking weed. I can't think of any that went on to amazing things.

It wasn't cool to be academic and the opportunities for excelling at sport/ extracircular stuff was limited by the schools resources.

I imagine the popular kids at less rough schools would be a different demographic. Very academic DH went to private school, had a great time and was very academic and went on international trips for sport despite being fairly average at sport. He would been relentlessly bullied at my school for the academics and wouldn't have had the sports opportunities.

I call myself the ugly duckling.

There were definitely pretty popular girls in secondary who peaked then.

@Elfrazzle I know what you mean, I went to a rough school and the cool kids were the hard ones, doing edgy grown up things like drinking to excess, going clubbing, smoking weed, being in serious relationships, having one night stands with much older lads. All the things now that are safeguarding issues. I look back at the parents and think wtf