Did you peak in high school?

[Itsfridayiminpub]

Or know people that did?

What are you/they like now?

I think this is pretty common. The cute "chicks" know they will not become a graceful swan, so to speak, so relentlessly bully anybody intelligent, slim, tall, etc. And then they become fat hens while the swans fly.

Yep!!

No not at all, absolutely typical for my bloody life, I peaked in lockdown - when no one saw me ffs.

Absolutely not!

I was bored out of my mind academically but got good grades easily. I was miserable though; I went to many schools and all were equally horrific environments.

My life is unrecognisably better now. A home I love, many friends, a great job, two wonderful children, well travelled, financially independent (no man to deal with). Plus freedom to be around only people like: that is worth a lot.

I went to a number of secondary schools and almost all of the wider groups of people that I still see through connections on social media who were "popular" and vain at school are now overweight, miserable and very unsuccessful in general. There are exceptions, but that is the general trend. And also, there is a significant minority who are either rather unhinged, or appear to be bitter about their life choices. Given that most of those people were spiteful, shallow and self-obsessed from what I observed, I can't say my heart bleeds for them. 🤣

No. It was hell.

I still feel in the shadow of high school though.

Like I have this weird impulse to look up the popular girls and almost gloat if they don't look perfect etc. I hate myself for it.

Why am I still looking for their approval X years on??

I don't think they'd recognise me anyway. I look much better and on paper have a good life. I did all the wrong things but life kind of wired out right.

I've had two peaks. One aged 11ish when I was pretty much top of the year for anything academic. Parents didn't believe in grammar schools so I went to the local comp where it wasn't too cool to try hard.
So an under achiever for very many years but not unhappy.
Kids now grown up so did a second degree a few years back and got a first. Reinvented my work and social/sporting life and definitely feel like I'm in a second and much more rounded peak.

I'm 50 and feeling like I'm just approaching my peak in every way! Career flying. In a brilliant relationship after a painful marriage break up in my 40s. Amazing social life with wonderful friends. Great relationship with my daughter. I feel very lucky. And totally found my style after losing it for years - so looking good I think.

But if you had asked me 10 years ago I'd have said I peaked in my 20s.

Perspective changes over time.

Definitely. I was always top of the class til the age of about 12. Got brilliant grades without ever needing to try, which - and this is what has screwed me up - weirdly instilled in me a sense that natural talent is far more admirable than achieving through hard work. If I had to actually work for it, the good grade didn’t feel as special.

I got to secondary school and was among a load of new kids who were cleverer than me, and it really knocked the stuffing out of me. Still did well, went to uni etc but I have struggled in my career and deliberately not gone for promotions. I should be a lot higher up than I am but I just can’t retain information or find the motivation to learn more to make me better at what I do.

I peaked around 38-40. Running marathons and great family life, easy part time job on good pay. Struggled work wise in my early 40s thanks to poor management (I realise now I have a new job but wasn't anything obvious at the time), and poor health but now I have magical HRT so I'll hoping I'll have a second peak!

I did well at school, all As and Bs just an ordinary not cool but not nerdy kid but no confidence, fell apart a bit socially at 6th form and should have had a gap year before uni...had a shit time and struggled socially, wasn't really mature enough to prioritise work, got a 2:2. Becoming a teacher made me. Which is ironic as 20 years on I can't stand it!

I was very popular in secondary school however I don’t like to look back at it that period as I was an awful person back then. Personality wise I have had a glow up. I didn’t peak in high school but I’m still relatively young I think once I have more DCs I will begin my decline.

Most "successful" girl in my year in high school (beautiful, popular, intelligent) actually used to say "I'm proof you can have it all" 🙄
Fast forward 30 years, she looks at least 10 years older than the rest of us, has aged very badly and whilst academically successful doesn't have the glittering career she was so sure she was destined for.
I most definately did NOT Peak in high school, I'd say I peaked at 40..

I was average in high school. Nice friends, average grasses. Just ordinary. Glowed up massively during university.

the popular girls from my school seem to still have it all. My school was in an affluent area. So the girls have been gifted house deposits from parents and grandpa for lovely detached family homes. They’ve all married well in terms of finances. Good looking men with decent jobs. All still rocking that lovely glossy blow dry. All quite mrs hinch-esque in terms of aesthetics.

their whole life is one big peak!

not many were particularly mean or anything so no hard feelings or bitterness. All were nice enough.

No I did not. I was desperate to fit in and be cool but also be in the background, just quietly do what the cool kids do but actually I was living a lie because I hated what the cool girls liked, parties, shopping etc and was trying to deny my real passions, the outdoors largely, because it wasn't cool. My real self started to come out in my early 20s and now early 30s so much happier than I was in school.

There were some very mean girls in my year but the most popular girl was lovely. She was beautiful, rich, quietly clever and actually really nice. She's still all of the above now and while rich with a high earning husband she seeks to love her primary teacher job. A lot of the others have married well but haven't really done well for themselves if you know what I mean.

Nope I hated school. Everyone has a small town mentality and there was hardly any diversity. I found school awful and couldn't wait to leave. I started my own business in my 20s, have a great life. Girls who bullied me for being different definitely peaked in high school from their fbs!

Definitely. School was my safe space away from an abusive home life and I loved the structure and stability of it all. I was academic and achieved some of the top grades in the school, I think everyone imagined I would do well. I wasn’t in the popular group but I had a solid group of friends.

now I am early 30s with Cptsd, not working after a series of disastrous attempts at building a career. I live a very quiet life in the country but am extremely fortunate to have a wonderful DH and DS. Also extremely fortunate that DH is doing well in his career so I can afford private EMDR. I hope to have a second peak of life in my 40s :)

Think I peaked in the womb.

At my high school in the late 80s the characteristics that meant you were the top of your game for girls were purely based around physical appearance. If you were pretty, wore the latest fashions and the boys liked you, then you were very popular.
For boys, good looking, the right sportswear, bit of a bad boy or good at football, cheeky to the teachers. Those boys walked around like gods and were treated as such.
Those who did well academically were highly unlikely to be part of the elite and unless they had connections with that crowd were at best invisible at worst bullied.
So it really depends on how you define 'peaked' as you either did well socially or academically, very rarely both; and its fairly obvious that that would pretty much reverse itself for most people after school when values became different.

I don't really measure my life experiences in this way, but I would say my 40s is my best decade yet so far, and I expect things to keep getting better!

@5128gap At my school the most popular crowd were mostly all in the top sets.

I reckon I peaked at 8.

Hi friend!

Yes, that was the case when my own children (now 20s/30) were in school. It was the same school as I went to too, so there seemed to have been a bit of a shift over the years.

The lanky, awkward girls have blossomed into beautiful swans

I think this is quite rare though, and is mainly just an awkward person's fantasy - that the social, good looking people will end up ugly with crap jobs at age 22. Nah, doesn't work like that. Things like social skills, fashion sense, looks, body size and shape, intelligence and charisma are lifelong characteristics.

There is no longer a divide between the "cool jocks" and the "awkward nerds", if there ever even existed outside American TV from the 90s. The most popular and charismatic people at my school were also among the most intelligent, and the most good looking.