Did you peak in high school?

[Itsfridayiminpub]

Or know people that did?

What are you/they like now?

I definitely didn't, but there were girls (all girls school) who did. They were treated as though they were exceptionally beautiful or brilliant when they were just ordinary and that became apparent when they left school.

God no, I’m like a fine wine.

@RubyRoss Treated by who?

What are their lives like now?

Yes. Am a depressed anxious husk, thanks. Don't know why you are asking?

I peaked in primary school! Went to grammar school, realised I wasn't going to be effortlessly top of the class any more, and totally lost interest! All my school reports were 'does not work to her full potential' or words to that effect.

Consequently I have a very ordinary (but happy) life.

@StopStreet Sorry to hear that, why do you think you peaked at that age?

Definitely. Always found school easy from a young age. Got 9 grade A at GCSE (pre A* days). That was my peak. It's been downhill from there and I'm now your classic underachiever. I don't know what went wrong. Good job I can laugh at it now.

@Itsfridayiminpub Had breakdown due to then undiagnosed autism and family trauma. Never been able to work since and need support for daily life. No one from school would know me if they saw me now.

Sorry if this thread was meant to be lighthearted? Going through a bad patch.

Do you mean physically OP or intellectually?

I definitely did not. But all the cool girls from school (went to all girls school), now aren’t doing a whole lot, are almost all divorced and miserable, many of them gone a bit religiously and politically off the rails (think COVID deniers, the end times are coming, chem trails!).

Treated by the class and often also teachers. For example, one girl saw herself as a potential model and others treated her that way by saying 'x is so beautiful and stylish'. But she wasn't even the most beautiful girl in the school, it was just an attitude she built up around her. And that disappeared when we finished school as everyone moved on but she seemed stuck like she couldn't understand why she wasn't getting attention anymore. Similar issues with people who were great (within our school and town) at a subject like maths or a sport but went to university and found they were just average and had to adjust. That's the big fish small pond phenomenon I suppose

Yes.
Was pretty and had a lot of friends. Got invited to all the parties. Went out with the good looking boys. Was generally liked. Did ok in all subjects. Had a lot of fun and felt pretty good.

I'm 30 now and have hardly any friends, a rubbish, boring job and never get invited to any parties. I miss school days.

I went to senior school with DH and I reckon most people who knew him would say he was on the top of his game. He was confident and fun and good looking (especially annoying for a teenager who should have been in an awkward phase). He played a lot of sports so had a lot of friends. Everyone loved him. But it was all a complete act; he was totally overcompensating for being so unbelievably unsure of himself behind closed doors. It took him a long time to let the facade disappear and trust in people knowing the real him. I picked up a lot of pieces of that inevitable breakdown!

I should add that many of them adjusted really well. Maybe it's down to personality.

Yes- one was the captain of the hockey team, loved herself. Now just has a fairly ordinary job in NHS.

I was bullied immensely between the ages of 12 and 15 due to my appearance and shyness. I was also very naive. I was quite smart but lack of attention both at home and school, plus the bullying, made me suffer academically.

Then off I went into the big world and was told I was beautiful, lovely all that stuff. Couldn't believe it. Did well at uni, had a good career, now have a lovely family. I still dont think I ever will believe people when they compliment me, but I probably need counseling for that!

On the plus side, the majority of the cool, amazing girls from school are pretty average now and never went anywhere in life!

What do you mean by 'peaked'?

There were a handful of girls at school who were seen as the prettiest and therefore loved by the boys and popular. Looking back, they were the early developers who had boobs and ‘inoffensive’ but quite plain faces. They definitely peaked too soon, I can’t put my finger on it but it’s like they only suited that very young and fresh-faced look, and now just look… odd. I also think the early developers have been more prone to weight problems as adults.

The lanky, awkward girls have blossomed into beautiful swans and still look fresh now we’re in our early 30s. I remember one girl who was ginger, had buck teeth and wore an anorak every day. She now looks like Eleanor Tomlinson!

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. There was a lot of cattiness towards the awkward looking girls at school, so to see them blossom in confidence has been lovely. Maybe a ‘face you deserve’ type thing?

I think it was less ‘peaking’ in the case of the girls I’m thinking of — that would suggest they were actually exceptional or talented. It was more, I think, a matter of getting a reputation for something among their schoolmates and teachers, either of whom knew anything at all about the thing in question, in a rough school full of poor people with little life experience. Their reputation for talent at x gave them confidence at it, and maybe confidence in general, and they certainly had a certain glamour. But in general, life doesn’t seem to have treated them kindly. The people I know who’ve forged interesting adult lives were complete nonentities at school.

In terms of living up to my potential, yes. Did well academically in school and 6th form and excelled in extra curricular stuff too. Went to a v good uni, came out with a 2.1 and have somehow just had a series of fairly crappy jobs since then, not helped by having kids in my 20s. My self esteem has plummeted. Used to believe I could do/ be anything. Not any more....

I was an excellent student. Grade A all the way, first class degree. I got such a high from studying, doing well and making my family proud. I found it hard to adjust beyond university, as there was no longer anything 'measurable' to define myself as successful and worthy (you shouldn't need to measure it, but I had for so long). Sure, I have a good job and work hard, but I find it hard to define my worth now (very stupid I am sure).
I always say to colleagues who have adolescent children, don't worry if they're not top of their class. As long as they are trying hard and doing well, they don't need to be the best. Being the best may make them happy for a short time, and ultimately quite lost.

Academically: yes

Socially: no

God no 🤣🤣🤣

My school was crap though, like a prison. I can imagine if I went to somewhere else, with civilised lovely people, I might have peaked there.

I guess I ‘peaked’ around age 25? Like most women I expect.

Yes, definitely

i think the structure and regular long breaks worked for me

plus, much as we had to do chores etc round the house, the fact that I wasn't ultimately the one in charge left a lot of time. From 17, I had an older boyfriend who did a lot for me.

from 20s, I have struggled to cope with most things.

a friend in a lower year had the same.

by contrast, my sister and best friend didn't do well at school and have good careers and social lives now. I think it's a thing. I vaguely recall Raj Persaud writing about it.