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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Messed up a job opportunity

37 replies

newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 12:41

Long story short - did an interview. Lots of prep, ideal job.
Got offered the job, less money than I wanted but could have coped.
Said no on phone and then panicked and rang back to ask for an hour
Job had already been offered.

I'm such an idiot!

OP posts:
SalesMum · 15/09/2022 12:46

Aw op

Had you entered into any negotiations such as "in sorry I could possibly take x but I would expect y or z as a minimum salary" or was it an absolute no to the job when they offered it to you?

Its a shame they offered to someone so quick but you did say no

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 12:52

I know, it's my own absolute stupidity. I'm crushed right now tbh.
I know I'm lucky to have a job but this one was perfect.
I feel very despondent and I've got to go into a work meeting and just crack on knowing what an absolute imbecile I have been

OP posts:
Sprig1 · 15/09/2022 12:57

That's a shame but try and move on. Maybe drop the company an email letting them know that you are still interested if the person they have offered it to drops out. You were successful this time, there is reason why you will not be offered another equally good job, if not better, if you keep applying. Think of it as a valuable life lesson.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 15/09/2022 12:58

It was not perfect. Your initial reaction was to turn it down. Had it been perfect you couldn't have even imagined doing that.

You have non-buyers remorse, grass is greener regret.

But have a quiet think. What made you say no? Not the feelings you experienced but the facts that led to them.

Use that to better direct yourself for the next interview.

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 13:22

Thank you for these very considered responses. They have made me think!

I have asked to be considered in the future but I am so sad and disappointed in myself

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PurplePansy05 · 15/09/2022 13:24

OP, IME a better job will come up soon, you'll get it and you'll forget about this one. In such circumstances it usually ends up working in your favour, just wait.

WeepingSomnambulist · 15/09/2022 13:27

Are you a woman?
A man would have negotiated the salary before turning it down if the salary didn't rise.
A woman just turns it out, or accepts at a rate lower than they want.

That's my experience in recruiting anyway.

iwantasandwich · 15/09/2022 13:28

Why didn't you negotiate instead of straight up turning it down!

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 13:30

Ah so I did negotiate re salary and put forward a business case for higher salary but they turned it down due to budget constraint. At initial panic I felt I couldn't manage that salary but then second thought in terms of the flexibility the role offered/and how it fits my career I wanted to reconsider but had missed out by then

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Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 13:30

Also yes I'm a woman

OP posts:
Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 13:30

@iwantasandwich I have no idea! I've never had it before but my brain just switched off on all rational thought and I f*cked up royally

OP posts:
Adultchildofelderlyparents · 15/09/2022 13:33

It wasn't the perfect job if the salary was too low and they didn't have the budget to increase it. It's easy to idealise jobs as being perfect in our mind when we are applying. In reality, if you wanted more money then that's an important factor.

TrashPandas · 15/09/2022 13:40

You did well! Never sell yourself short, and that's what you would have done if you said yes.

shedwithivy · 15/09/2022 13:45

Sometimes it's worth taking a pay cut for your dream job or a perfect opportunity... but there's the cost of living squeeze and everything else to consider... it may be that your initial gut response was the right one. Can you imagine if you ended up struggling for money and didn't enjoy the job in the end?

HikingforScenery · 15/09/2022 14:19

The money wasn’t perfect. It was too low. Well done for having the balls to turn it down. The right one will come along at some point

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 14:21

@shedwithivy I know! I absolutely know that but my brain turned off.

I've turned down 2 jobs this year now. I'm getting sick of my current job (which admittedly is a gold dust job often dreamt about on Mumsnet, it's not for me anymore and I want out)

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 15/09/2022 14:22

Well there you go then. They don't value the position enough to pay more, assuming you asked for the going rate, and your expertise didn't persuade them.

They went with a cheaper option, not the option they thought was best.

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 15:04

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist yes that's true, I would have been ideal in the sense that I could have saved them a lot of money but they just didn't have the extra budget in the now.

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Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 15:05

Still doesn't stop me feeling silly though. I'm going to give my head a wobble.
I have a job with lovely colleagues and a supportive manager. I can wfh majority of the time. I can work TTO. I need to just keep my chin up and learn from this now.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 15/09/2022 15:12

You did the right thing in turning it down. It wasn't right and they weren't paying what you're worth.

newsaint · 15/09/2022 15:42

Dont beat yourself up, put it down to experience.

It sounds like you were put on the spot on the phone, without having time to properly think it over.

Take the positives from it - the experience of applying, preparing and interviewing etc is always worthwhile and you did impress enough to get an offer.

There will be other opportunities - and you will snap them up.

workinmums · 15/09/2022 16:06

I can't say you did the right thing turning it down because you could have very well lost a really good opportunity but I will say you can't beat yourself up for it.

What has happened has happened, so just move on and hopefully something even better will present itself in the future.

Also, learn that before making really important decisions such as this one,
at-least ask for a few hours to ponder upon it and then make your decision.

Good luck x

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 16:44

Thanks everyone.
I've calmed down slightly but I was very upset earlier.
I need to really learn from this sad experience.

OP posts:
britneyisfree · 15/09/2022 17:09

We had this once. The woman called back for the job and the senior manager lied and said he'd given it to someone else.

We hadn't, ended up going back out to advert. She applied and again and wasn't even shortlisted that time as manager said he didn't want a flake on the team.

Worked out well for me as I got the temp job for another 6 months 🤣

Original poster
newjobwhodisperhaps · 15/09/2022 19:17

@britneyisfree ahhh that's good for you then.
I know for a fact if the other person doesn't take it for whatever reason she will come back to me just because of the potential future savings for the place if nothing else

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