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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how the hell do you stop procrastinating!

42 replies

GingerHouz · 13/09/2022 22:20

Thanks to reading half a dozen books on the topic and endless articles online - I'm ok with the how tos - how to be more organised, how to make lists, how to plan out goals and so on. The countless suggestions make sense, some are so simple and glaringly obvious, others seem a little pointless.

I start off so eager, full of enthusiasm, ready to implement the suggestions in a bid to becoming the woman whose ' got her shit together '.

Despite being armed with The Knowledge, I have a stunning inability to actually do anything about any of it.

In the words of my nan - how the fuck do I do it?

OP posts:
wb3 · 13/09/2022 22:21

Give a minute.

Halloweenbiscuits · 13/09/2022 22:22

Hi OP.
I help women with this as part of my job! What is it you're procrastinating over in particular?
X

ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 13/09/2022 22:30

See my user name! I can relate.

XenoBitch · 13/09/2022 22:31

I have never been able to overcome this.

LHReturns · 13/09/2022 22:33

Phone off, no hangover, no doorbell, no kids near, cool room, daylight….ummmmm.

FavouriteDogMug · 13/09/2022 22:33

Procrastination is normally linked to anxiety and sometimes poor executive function. Do you have problems with either of those? Have you ever had problems with things like making decisions, organising things, time keeping, impulsiveness, getting started on things and also stopping things. All that sort of thing is linked to executive function.

BudgetBlast · 13/09/2022 22:34

I struggle on and off with this. I find the absolute best thing is to aim small and build up. Enormous tasks are daunting and the anxiety kicks in. Small bite size chunks still gets things done. Even 10 minutes is enough on day 1.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/09/2022 22:35

I’m going to start tomorrow

Dancinginthebasement91 · 13/09/2022 22:36

I found the only way to avoid this is to do something immediately, and sometimes this can be quite extreme and will delay other things. If you have an email that needs a reply, then reply as soon as you've read it. Need to set up a meeting? Do it as soon as you know. Got a manky pan? Wash it up before you eat your meal. If I leave anything its game over. I got a letter at the weekend about my car tax. I didn't open it and now it'll be a huge chore which I'll only get to last minute. Good luck and remember, you can only do your best

Frlrlrubert · 13/09/2022 22:36

I procrastinate BY making lists, instead of actually DOING the things.

I find that mini rewards help. Do two things, have a cuppa, do two more things, cuppa and a biscuit, three more things before lunch.

Today I made myself hang the laundry before I went for a wee, that made me get a move on.

Also, rather than lists I use post it's and stick them somewhere where I have to move them to get a thing I want/like. So 'phone the insurance company' on my kindle screen - can't read my book until I've done it and binned the post it.

grafittiartist · 13/09/2022 22:37

No idea. I am terrible. I do find decision making agonising sometimes! But mostly I just cannot be bothered.
Any tips welcome.

Howardsbend · 13/09/2022 22:38

Do you think asking mumsnet posters is likely to be very successful? I thought its function was procrastination.

Fingernails4Cash · 13/09/2022 22:38

I struggle with this but I the end it's a case of remove distraction, put on classic fm (which removes the distraction of my own brain) and - there's no way to sugar coat this - JFDI

If you have a huge list of overdue tasks you will be overwhelmed.
Declare bankruptcy on your inbox.
Work an evening or several to knock off any tasks that feel like a millstone round your neck.
Compartmentalise: don't think about personal life admin at the same time as work stuff or planning Christmas etc.

EmmaH2022 · 13/09/2022 22:39

i read a great article about this but it was years ago so can’t link

if it’s big stuff, is it because you don’t really want to do it. The example they gave was brilliant for me - not going for promotion or better paid jobs because you are worried it will not have the right pay off and you will have made all the effort for nothing.

it helped me decide against a few things.

the other example they gave was procrastinating solving things eg the shirt you were dithering about buying is sold out. The photocopier got fixed because someone else did it. You didn’t tidy the lounge and then were so busy for a week, you weren’t home to notice.

do at least now I can figure out, is my procrastination trying to tell me something, does the thing actually need to be done.

sadly if it does, it’s a case of JFDI. But you might want to turn off the internet first.

EmmaH2022 · 13/09/2022 22:40

*so not do

mrsjackrussell · 13/09/2022 22:43

I really struggle with this and have found a simple bullet journal app helpful and only think about doing one thing at a time.
Also look into pomodoro timer. Its 25 m then 5 m break after 4 of these you have a 15m break. I have an app for this as well. I seem to get a lot more done as i know im going to get a break. Even just sitting daydreaming for 5m.

carefullycourageous · 13/09/2022 22:43

I set a very low target and then exceed it. This gives me a sense of Halo which I enjoy, encouraging me to do more.

Just do one small thing. Then have a cup of tea. Then do another.

Pacing yourself is key.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 13/09/2022 22:47

Yes to Pomodoro
Delete MN!

Phrenologistsfinger · 13/09/2022 22:49

In my case, it would require me not to have ADHD, not going to happen.

Howappropriate · 13/09/2022 22:54

FavouriteDogMug · 13/09/2022 22:33

Procrastination is normally linked to anxiety and sometimes poor executive function. Do you have problems with either of those? Have you ever had problems with things like making decisions, organising things, time keeping, impulsiveness, getting started on things and also stopping things. All that sort of thing is linked to executive function.

Any advice on improving executive function? I have difficulty with all the things you list!
For big tasks, I have to start them as soon as possible, blocking time off in my diary, remembering how much anxiety delaying has caused me in the past, setting control measures in place- like sending chunks of project to my boss in a short time frame rather than the whole thing later on, talking to my boss about how hard I find it and asking her for deadlines/accountability(I have a great boss tho).
Good luck OP!

GibbonsGoatsGibbons · 13/09/2022 22:55

When the thing you need to do comes into your mind/notice count down from 3 when you get to zero do the thing.
this works for life/home stuff

for bigger planned things I need fake HARD deadlines for smaller parts because I will work to a deadline but always & only to the very last minute of it 😬

try to understand why you procrastinate- for me it's mostly perfectionism

with a to do list eat the frog first always & the to do list becomes frog plus 2 most urgent/important things- anything else is a bonus.

if all else fails set a timer for 15 mins & promise faithfully that you can stop when it goes off (this is the only way I do any tidying 😆)

MaryJoLisa · 13/09/2022 23:02

I work to freakishly tight deadlines. I know I can only work to a deadline, so I don't even bother until then. I set myself deadlines for some things, rather like I would with a child - I have to hoover before I can go out. Other things, for example, i have to give a presentation next Thursday am (I actually do) I've blocked out my afternoon next Wednesday to sort it out. I won't do it then, but I'll fuck about, eat shit, look at my phone and then about 6pm brick it and start doing it. However! Not sure if this is the same for others, but I may not be doing, but I am thinking. By the time I actually do it, my busy brain has thought about it loads and by the time I start it, I'm already half done in my head, I just need to bang it out.

Leonarar · 13/09/2022 23:07

The task paralysis is ADHD.

Bet you anything.

Figrolls14 · 13/09/2022 23:12

Lifelong procrastinator here, watching beadily for advice! Things I have found useful are...

setting a very short timer and just taking a screaming arm-flapping run at whatever it is, just to broach it, then it’s easier to carry on, set another slightly longer timer and so on.

once I’ve managed to start a work task of any length i’ve found listening to Lofi Girl on YouTube helpful as it helps me concentrate and not get in a tizz about whatever it is I’m doing

not going on MN
deleting news feed from phone!

when I am stressed about contacting someone at work/asking someone a question/giving information I don’t think will be popular/admitting I’m behind or forgot something it helps to think that usually the person would rather you asked/they had the information/advance warning than not

...that excellent saying that the next best time to plant a tree is today...

Thank you letters for Xmas etc: keep the card from the person, write on it the details of the gift ASAhumanlyP after receiving it and a rough draft of the thank you, keep stock of cards you like the look of and book of stamps either in kitchen or somewhere near front door...

Try and brush teeth at suitable juncture in the earlier rather than horrendously late part of the evening, eg after child put-down, thus you will always basically be ready for bed and therefore less likely to fanny around until 11:30 /1:00 after doing lunchboxes....

Figrolls14 · 13/09/2022 23:25

Task paralysis yup yup 👍