To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

I'm only ten weeks into breastfeeding so by no means an expert but for me it is quite a hassle. We have had a lot of struggles with latch and she only feeds with nipple shields so the whole feed anywhere, no equipment thing doesn't really apply here. I've also spent a fortune on feeding bras and tops, trying to find some that are vaguely supportive for my big boobs. Ended up in tears at a baby class last week because my baby was crying, she kept knocking the shields off and we both ended up soaked in my milk. We also can't feed lying down, nor do I wish to co sleep, so I'm up and feeding in the lounge each night. I'm holding out hope that my baby might develop her latch as she grows because I do like the closeness of bf (she was term but tiny) but if not I'll definitely be switching to combi feeding - bottles out and about and bf at home where I can take my time & use shields if necessary. I'm so envious of women who find bf easy but not all of us do!

I’m pretty sure most people are aware not all women find bf easy that’s why we don’t post about it if we do as people that don’t get upset. Lots of posts from women that do though so it’s not like people aren’t aware. Just the ones that find it easy don’t usually post to tell people so.

I BF both mine and loved it. Nothing quite like lying down in the afternoon with your boobs out and feeding and dozing with your LO. They slept a 7 hr stretch from about 10 weeks. Unfortunately DS never did the mythical 12hrs even when fully weaned but would frequently do 10-11 from 5 months ish. Dd is a sleep monster then and now and did 12 or 13 hrs from 6 months.

Also breastmilk is fantastic medicine, I felt sad the first time they were poorly and I had stopped.

OP, having a baby is a hassle. Get ready 😂

It (having a baby) certainly ranks highly amongst the biggest hassles I’ve had. I enjoyed quite a lot of the breastfeeding though.

I'm exclusively bf and did so with my first. For me it is the closeness and bond it creates between us. The one to one that grows and develops as baby grows too. I love the fact that it is readily available anytime baby is hungry and at the perfect temperature. I also cosleep and feed baby laying down so don't even have to wake up to feed which is a huge plus.

My sister has a baby the same age as mine and bottle feeds. I see her stress our when her baby is crying and screaming for a bottle and she's faffing around trying to get it to the right temperature, make up a bottle etc. Whereas when mine is hungry I can feed her immediately.

She also tells me about the night time feeds where she has to wake up multiple times and make up a bottle, wait for it to cool down etc. I'm just grateful to have it much easier in my own experience.

@Oiwiththepoodlesalreadygg
Why can't you feed lying down?

Yes we all know having a baby is "hassle". OP isn't saying she's not prepared for that she's just doing her research to figure out which way will be slightly less hassle for her. Slightly less hassle could mean she will be happier which will mean baby will be happier. A constantly tired ratty stressed mother isn't doing anyone any favours so whatever makes it slightly easier is worth it.

Well done for doing your research OP. Whatever you decide will be right for you and baby and that's all that matters

You won't get a reasonable answer here. Mumsnet has a cohort of self proclaimed experts who turn up on every breastfeeding thread to tell everyone how dreadful it is for women, how pointless it is for babies, how any stars or understanding is based in those silly developing countries, not our nice, civilised homes.

However. It's not a hassle. Open top. Apply baby. Literally. What is a hassle is years of covert formula advertising pushing a negative narrative, lack of community knowledge and support, lack of understanding and confidence. Boobs don't have measures. Bad latches cause pain. Women often don't understand cluster feeding, feeding cues, optimal positioning. Too much emphasis on 'sleeping through' to get mums back into sparkling evening company and daytime work instead of understanding it's not BF which is a hassle, it's BABIES.

I did both and yep, it's harder. I couldn't keep it up in the end because my 4yo autistic DC was a whirlwind and I couldn't be attached to a baby all day.

my Baby started off on formula in the NICU but is pretty much exclusively breastfed now - I give 30ml of formula morning and night just to keep her taking bottles as she was already started on taking them.

personally I don’t understand breastfeeding helping with the bond or being a great bond. I feel more of a bond when formula feeding as I have no hands free and baby is facing me so I’m just looking into her eyes. It’s lovely. I’m currently breastfeeding and baby is sideways in rugby pose and I’m on mumsnet as I’ve hands free!!! So for me I don’t get why others say breastfeeding is bonding.

I work in a research field and I went and read all the actual papers behind the benefits of breastfeeding and they are quite suspect tbh. Very poor studies, lots of bias. So I don’t really buy into the benefits.

the reason I like breastfeeding is it’s handy at night as I don’t need to get out of bed to feed, I like that you can’t overfeed a breastfed baby which is handy if she’s being fussy I pop her on and also as we are planning to go on holidays soon and I’m glad I won’t need to worry about clean water and how to get everything properly sterilised.

I found it a lot harder to prep bottles all the time than I did to just unlatch my bra and feed my baby. I didn’t haven’t any difficulty with it, bar some pain when I had mastitis.

I mix fed twins till 4 months and then bottle after that, it was exhausting. But with my singleton it was different, maybe just because I wasn’t having to try and tandem feed!

Whether you find breast or bottle easier, no judgement from me. Do whatever works for you and your baby. Having said that, I would wish that when women are making themselves unwell and unhappy because they’re finding breastfeeding so hard that they would give themselves a break and stop.

Thank you 😊😊😊

@sanabria unfortunately my baby just won't latch that way, even with the shields. Just can't seem to get the angle right. Also milk drips out of the shields and soaks the sheets which is a pain!

I've had a bad day with feeding today which I think is why my post sounds so negative... If only you could delete/edit! I'm moaning, but at home with no distractions I do enjoy bf and I'm really hoping LO comes off the shields soon and it becomes easier. I've heard that you should never quit on a bad day so here's hoping tomorrow goes better!

I've had 1 formula fed baby and 1 exclusively breastfed baby. The breastfed baby slept the same as the formula fed baby, but I felt better rested because while I was still being woken in the night I didn't have to get up in the night, turn the lights on, prepare a bottle, wait for it to cool while settling a screaming baby, I literally just put baby to breast and it's was calm. Going out with the baby was much easier because I could literally grab a few nappies and go, I didn't have to worry about how long I'd be out/how many bottles/where to warm them/worry about sterilising anything etc. It was free and I found it easier to settle my breastfed baby when she was poorly/teething/upset etc. Because boobs are magic apparently.

I will admit that not being able to go out was the hardest part for me. She wouldn't take a bottle at all which caused its own problems, I struggled never having time alone but in hindsight it didn't last that long at all but it felt like it at the time. It also caused problems when I was extremely unwell in hospital because she wouldn't take a bottle and so had to be with me, I discharged myself which obviously isn't ideal but I had no real choice. I was lucky to have a relatively easy breastfeeding journey physically, she latched fairly easily, gained weight as expected and only had minimal discomfort apart from 2 bouts of mastitis - caused by skipping feeds and could have been prevented if I had been more diligent with expressing.

Both breast and bottle feeding have their pros and cons, but for me personally I think if I have another I would ideally combi feed to get the best of both worlds (the benefits of baby taking a bottle and the benefits of breastfeeding) but I wouldn't rule out breastfeeding completely and if I had to choose one or the other, I'd still breastfeed. I do feel I have bonded better with my breastfed baby, but I had extremely severe PND with my eldest and so that may have nothing to do with how she was fed and more the circumstances I was in when she was born, but in terms of how they behave now - that's purely personality so no, breastfeeding doesn't give them a noticeable advantage over formula. It's whatever works best for mum and baby, any other opinion is worthless.

Oh and my daughter is now 3 and still usually has 1 breastfeed a day, obviously nobody has to continue that long and again it is completely down whatever works best for mum and baby but since the age of about 18 months she is perfectly happy to go for sleepovers with her nan, to nursery, days out with daddy etc. and isn't bothered at all by not having it so you do get your personal time back eventually.

100% agree with this. How you feed your baby is a tiny part of a big picture. In years to come it makes 0 difference because your food, exercise and environmental habits take over how your overall health is.

I would suggest combo feeding is the perfect solution. I did that. Mostly expressed milk but some formula as she got older. That way dad could do night feeds too!

Once established it's so much easier than making up/sterilising/cleaning etc bottles.
It's cheaper
It's a great way to lose weight as your body is using up calories to produce milk.
It's nature's ideal food for your baby
It changes as your baby grows to be richer and more filling
It has antibodies so is probably helpful in fighting infection
It promotes mother baby bonding

Yes it's difficult to get started first time round, and you are tied to baby for the first few months, but the pros outweigh the cons for many mothers.

On the one hand, bottle feeding is more convenient. On the other, it costs 15 quid per tin...

What's convenient about sterilising, measuring, heating, cooling, washing, ensuring you have the right bottle as opposed to opening your shirt?

This was basically my experience. Oversupply, milk spraying everywhere if I didn’t feed every 3 hours on the dot, soaked bedding, had to take a change of top everywhere I went. For some reason breastfeeding did something to my
hormones that made me really sweaty 😷 I lost the baby weight which was great, but just kept losing, and after about 3 months I looked pale and thin. It’s like baby was taking all my reserves and depleting me! I also felt really energy-less. When I stopped bfing I felt like I had had a power surge and my skin was amazing.

I found bottle feeding easy. Could do it with my eyes closed and it means someone else can do a few feeds while you sleep.

You can also get prepackaged, ready mixed where you literally just pull off the seal, screw the teat in and done. Again though, expensive.

Other people helping with nights, or feeding in general? Being able to go out and do things knowing they won’t be starving themselves until you get back? It’s all about weighing up what’s best for your lifestyle.

Well done for persevering. You’re the second poster to mention the large boobs issue. I struggle with this too and I think breastfeeding is SO much harder for larger chested women. Thinking about it, my friends and family who struggles and sometimes ultimately failed to bf, all have very large boobs.
I think there needs to be more support, openness and conversation about bf with massive boobs as it is a logistical struggle and feeding out and about is not so much of an option.