To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

The thought of having to make bottles up while a baby screams if they aren't already prepared was enough to keep me going with breastfeeding. I am too lazy for all that malarky.

^^this

I bf all three of mine because I really just couldn't be arsed with all the organisation that bottle feeding seemed to entail.

But fed is best.

I always thought of BFing as the 'baby reset' button, it was a crucial part of my parenting toolbox in the early days. Particularly with DC3 it was very much 'if in doubt BF'.

Baby hungry? BF
Baby thirsty? BF
Baby tired? BF
Baby cold? BF
Baby hot? BF
Baby constipated? BF
Baby needs affection? BF

I’m the opposite - lazy but formula meant it wasn’t me having to do every feed. Grandparents live overseas but every time they flew in they became the bottle feeders, day and night. Wonderful!

I've found breastfeeding to be very convenient so far for a number of reasons - I don't ever have to worry about sterilising kit, don't have to take milk and bottles out with me and I can comfort the baby instantly. It's not without difficulties (especially at the beginning) but so worth it and has made life much easier overall.

In my experience yes, exclusive breastfeeding for six months is a hassle. It's definitely more time consuming than formula feeding and the baby relies solely on you for nutrition which can feel like a burden. If you're BFing every 2/3 hours including at night, which is pretty normal, you don't get much "you" time or much sleep. Yes you can express but that is also time consuming.

I know people say sterilising and preparing bottles is a faff but it is fairly straightforward to just wash and sterilise your stuff in the microwave once a day. You can add the powder to a few oz of hot water and then add previously cooled boiled water to cool it down (I think this is safe...?). Or use ready-made formula if out and about etc. Or lots of people use perfect prep machines.

However - I did breastfeed my eldest exclusively to 6 months, and then alongside formula and solids to 18 months. I did love the bond and it was honestly so easy to solve most cases of crying by sticking a boob in his mouth. Not sure how I'd parent a baby without breastfeeding although obviously many people can and do very well. I also found that my baby didn't get any of the bugs I picked up as I think he would have got the antibodies in my milk.

Second time round though, we started giving DS2 (now 5 months old) one bottle of formula per day aged 12 weeks or so. It does seem to help with fussy evenings, plus I can put the toddler to bed while DH does the baby sometimes which is good for our family. I had a night out with friends a couple of weeks ago and DH gave the baby one bottle of expressed milk and one of formula over about 6 hours, and he was fine. He is also really healthy generally, has never even really had the sniffles, great weight gain and meeting all the milestones.

So combi feeding seems to work really well for us. Only 1% of UK mums breastfeeding exclusively for the full 6 months and there is definitely a reason for that.

There is absolutely not a 'small' difference between breast milk and formula milk, as some are saying. They are not comparable at all.

Your body, your choice and I would support whatever the mother wanted to do 10000%, but as facts stand no, they are not the same.

You can't know if breastfeeding is 'hassle' unless you d experienced it. I breastfed my son until he was nearly 17 months old and it was wonderful, one of the best and most rewarding experiences of my life. Sure the first few weeks were tough / exhausting / painful but I'm so glad I stuck it out.

I'm currently breastfeeding my 5 and a half month old. She first slept through (9pm - 6:30am) at 11 weeks and I never have and never will need to buy, wash or sterilise a single bottle in my entire life. It's much more convenient for me. It's just amazing and I love it so much.

I admire those who formula feed but it's 100% not for me and I really love breastfeeding. The fact you have such a negative idea of breastfeeding before you've even had your baby just goes to show how it's depicted in society. I wish both could be shown positively.

Of course there is! What’s the noticeable difference between a FF kid and a BF kid?

@Oiwiththepoodlesalreadygg Ah, okay. I was going to suggest rotating/repositioning shields for lying down position but sounds like you may have already tried all of that! And to be fair, I get a fair amount of milk all over the bedsheets too..

Mine is 12 weeks and we are only just now getting off the shields so I know the struggle. But it is doable :) My HV said as babies mouths grow it can be easier to get a proper latch and it seems to be true for us and hopefully will be for you too! Best of luck!

Do what you think is best and best for your family.
I exclusively BF for 6 months, then we did one bottle of formula (expressing WAS a massive pain in the arse for me and I gave myself engorgement - not worth it).
BF for me was less hassle then bottle. I would say to anyone that you do really want to have to BF as it takes time and patience, and also it can be sore.
My baby no sleep issues, very healthy, it made me feel a close bond to him, easier then sterilising bottles and making up formula etc. But that was my preference.
When we moved to doing a bottle I often ended up still BF him so it was a bit of a waste of time

Which is great. But then baby sees it as the only solution to every issue, and in the end it sort of creates a need rather than meeting one - these types of babies are often the subject of threads with very exhausted mums who are desperate to wean further down the line but can’t because their toddler screams and screams etc

I never read any books or had a parenting ‘method’ in mind, but I did find I fed roughly to a schedule - every 3 hours during the day and at night until about 3 months old, then it was every 3 hours during the day and twice at night. I didn’t just shove a boob in her mouth if she cried, I cuddled her or distracted her. I think this paid dividends when I weaned her off breastfeeding as she was good at being comforted in so many ways, I think she just saw bfing as food. And I had a lot of parenting tools in my kit when we finished.

Breast milk is rich in IgG antibodies, which will specifically reflect the viruses and bacteria the mother is being exposed to. It is isotonic so absorbed almost better than any other fluid and can be used topically to treat minor infections and eczema.

Formula is designed with infant nutrition in mind and is a safe and effective way to meet a baby's needs.

But (the baby's mother's) breast milk it ain't.

The difference between breastmilk and formula is a different thing to the difference in outcomes between breastfed and formula fed babies.

Breastmilk is a living fluid tailored for the baby and honed by evolution to be right for our species. Formula is the reconstituted skimmed powdered milk of another mammal with the fat content added back in, usually from non-animal fats, commonly palm oil, and synthetic vitamins added. It's a completely different fluid, the fact they are both called milk is more for familiarity than anything else.

But, it doesn't really matter that much in terms of outcomes. In terms of nourishing the baby for their growth and development, modern formula does a really good job, to the point that it really IS worth weighing the convenience/mental health/preference/routine/ease/whatever other reasons somebody might prefer the idea of FF against the health benefits of breastfeeding.

Much of the benefits of breastfeeding are about the fact women want to breastfeed and see value in breastfeeding, and it ought to be protected and celebrated for that fact alone, but if an individual woman feels that the costs of breastfeeding are too much, she is probably right, the differences in outcome really are very slight. Nobody should feel guilty for preferring formula. I just also think nobody should be forced into using it before they actually want to.

Great post by @BertieBotts which sums up my thoughts nicely!

I breastfed both my babies (& still feeding my second). I often wonder this too as I’d love some more sleep each night! But in my mind I couldn’t not try and do it because I’d read about the benefits around it.
It’s been easy in the middle of the night but also so hard with the cluster feeding. You have to do what’s best for you and probably best not to rely on information from forum’s like mumsnet. I have many friends who breastfed and their babies slept through the night too.

Never found it a hassle in the slightest. Was bottle fed myself but wanted to bf both of mine so I did.
Like many things if you go into it thinking it will be hard, it's more likely to be so.

Having had one bottle fed and one breastfed... Yes BF does have fm

Having had one bottle fed and one breastfed, I can tell you confidently that breastfeeding is easier. Not having to sterilise bottles, worry about temperature, plan ahead when going out, get powder everywhere... It's hugely helpful.

Breastfed babies are also less prone to various health conditions, and it has health benefits for mum too.

However breastfeeding does have the major downside of meaning you can't leave baby at all really for six months at least. I don't mind this, personally, but I can see why some do.

I genuinely found formula feeding less hassle than breastfeeding, but I am definitely in the minority! I breastfed my first for a couple of weeks and absolutely hated it, the feeding her no matter where I was, I felt like I always smelt of milk, I hated feeling like my body wasn’t my own.
Formula feeding was a breeze. I would make 6 bottles a day which took about 10 minutes. Cool then and pop them in the fridge, if I was home I microwaved them and if I was out I took a cool bag with the bottles in and heated it in a jug of water, or used ready made.
Washing and sterilising wasn’t a faff either, they just went in the dishwasher then I put them in Milton cold water sterilising solution until I needed them.

Once feeding is established it’s no hassle! Don’t need to leave the house with bottles and milk, just ya boobs!

I planned on BF but then had to go on meds because of how the labour went so couldn’t BF for some time. I felt so bad, like a failure.

the focus on BF, breast is best, etc, made me feel guilty when I was in fact not BF to keep my baby safe from the medication that was keeping his mother alive/well but would be toxic for the baby.

FF also allowed my partner to share in feeding the baby, and helped him support my recovery because I could sleep and rest more than if I was the sole source of sustenance for the baby.

so, plans can go awry because of things that couldn’t be predicted and are outside of your control. What works for you and your baby is the right thing to do.
And fed is best.

I’ve done both. Although not breastfeeding per se, my DD is given EBM only. Eldest was formula fed.
IMO there’s a massive difference. Could be the kids themselves but eldest had serious colic, digestive discomfort, skin issues and I was always paranoid she’d get sick. Making up formula/taking it out and timing everything was such a ball ache.
Youngest has reflux (but that’s because she takes in air on the bottle) but has gained weight much quicker than eldest did. Sleeps better, deals with colic/reflux better, settles better etc and I’m not worried about her becoming unwell because I know I’m feeding her something that can help keep her healthy in that regard. I have portable pumps and just take empty sterile bottles out with me. BM lasts much longer out of the fridge than formula and even once they’ve drunk from the bottle as well.

@LuckySantangelo35

For mums there is an increased risk of premenopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart attack, osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis.

For babies there is an increased risk of infections (lung, GI tract, ear infections, lower respiratory), type 1 and 2 diabetes, childhood cancer, SIDS, asthma, skin allergies…

All sorts of risks. But generally we speak about the benefits.

Not meant to be judgy. More for information!

I started the cycle in my extended family. No history of bf, and vaguely frowned upon by my mother.

Had a horrendous time on dc1 post labour and emergency cs. Got to maybe 9 or 10 weeks mixed feeding but I can't say it was a good experience.

Second time round I was much more prepared, had a lactation consultation on standby and we fed til dc2 was 2.5yo.

You really do need a lot of support in the early days with bf.
My sister and my sis-in-law (we are close) both went on to feed between 1 and 2 years because they had me to back them up.

It just gets so easy and convenient. More sleep, less faff. And yes my bf baby slept better.

It's all anecdotal but that was my experience

Other than the clinginess I find BF really easy because I don't have to worry about washing bottles, equipment, sterilising, bringing and preparing bottles to go out. When baby is crying I can very quickly put him to the breast and he's calm again. Never done bottle feeding but it just seems like so much hassle! If baby wants to co-sleep and be fed to sleep it's fine by me.. my only worry is when I'm back at work, but I figure he'll be older and should be drinking less then.