To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

I BF for all the benefits to the baby, including passing antibodies. It’s very scary for a newborn to get a fever or a cold and knowing I’m helping the baby get over it quickly and not have it so bad is very reassuring. (There is a biological mechanism where mum’s body can produce antibodies quickly when it detects germs in the environment) you’re also passing lots of other antibodies, for ex if you had chickenpox your baby will be protected at least for the first 3 months of breastfeeding (I found these 3 months mentioned in a a study, other say for the whole duration of bf)

apart from that, I also have a purely selfish reason: I couldn’t imagine getting out of bed a few times a night to go to the kitchen and prepare the formula when I could easily pop my breast or leave it out for “free access” and go back to sleep! I was so sleep deprived I don’t think I could have stood next to my bed never mind went to the kitchen and prepared smtg (it has to be fresh) while the baby starts crying!

and btw when they start eating food (6 months onwards ) you don’t have to feed as much.

@Twizbe

true!

I just don’t like sitting down for long periods

exercise is really important to my mental health

Practically everything about having a baby is a faff.

We all make decisions about our children that we consider in their best interests, even if it involves more work for the parent

Being glued to the sofa cluster feeding is all well and good with baby No.1 but not so much when No.2 arrives and you have a needy toddler as well.

@LuckySantangelo35 mine too. I got a walk in each day as well. Easier with number 2 as I had to take eldest to nursery.

Omg for me it was WAY easier. I did some bottles with my second (reluctantly, for medical reasons) and bf was much easier. The first 4-6 weeks are a bit tough depending on your expectations then it gets much much easier and quicker. My 100% bf baby slept through 11 hours a night at 16 weeks, my partly bottle fed one took til 10m to get there.

Yes I missed it so much with the second!

I mostly fed my second in a sling and it didn’t impede on doing things with my toddler at all - we could play, walk around the playground, read books together etc all while feeding. I so missed having the excuse to just sit down for hours and watch Netflix though!

It's best for your baby. That should be all you need to know. If it doesn't work out then we're so very lucky we have a decent alternative but it is better for your baby so surely anyone should try

I had 2 years between mine. CBeebies was on a lot in the early cluster feeding days. As was sitting in the play tent reading a story to eldest while feeding youngest. Not sure really how making up formula would have helped then.

Plus that was dad's job. When he got home he had to be 100% focused on toddler.

We kept toddler in nursery as well so 2 days a week I had the joy of just having 1 baby.

Tbh having to do formula with two would have been just as hard if not more son

I wanted to bf but couldn’t last longer (exclusively) than a week. Combi for a few months.

I think the “ease” of breastfeeding depends on your body and your child. My nipples and my DDs mouth are just not compatible, I had to fight to get her to latch, couldn’t afford lactation consultants and all that bollocks the nhs should offer given how they ram bf down your throat. I couldn’t have ever BF in public, it was too stressful, I struggled to get her in a position I could sustain for longer than 5 minutes at home never mind outside, the clothing issue (plus size breastfeeding friendly clothes was difficult). It took its mental toll on me.

Bottles however, absolutely breeze and there really is no “faffing” with washing bottles. It takes maybe 2 minutes to wash them all and get them into the steriliser. Not much extra room taken up in an already packed changing bag. I knew exactly how much milk she was getting which really pleased my adhd brain.

Now I look at BF friends and their kids are never off the Boobs, constantly pulling at their tops etc (toddlers) and even when they’re little they need to be on the boob all the time. Can’t stay out later than bedtime cos they don’t take a bottle or they need to pump. It seems WAAAY more exhausting to me than bottle feeding ever was.

What works for some won’t for others, and however we chose to feed our children should be respected and never judged.

Because it's fantastic for your child's immune system and it's free.

I don't understand why you wouldn't if you were able too. Honestly. No judgement.

Babies are hassle. All of it is hassle. Whatever you choose will be hassle.

I formula fed and had a baby that slept through from eight weeks. He’s so easy. He’s still a hassle. It’s just how it is.

This!

I've had four children so have done a combination of everything..I personally found establishing breastfeeding really hard at first, but once sorted, it was so much easier. No faffing with sterilising, temperature, running out of formula etc.

I fed my first for about a year, but my second baby flatly refused to BF so I had to bottle feed and it was so much more hassle, especially if out for the day, because if you calculated on x number of feeds/bottles and the baby wanted more or less, then you either wasted milk, or had to panic purchase ready made cartons because youd run out, which was hassly and much more expensive.

3 and 4 did a mixture of BF initially and then bottles once weaned.

They all seem to have turned out well....all equally intelligent and happy babies, none of them have two heads or anything 😉

Just do what works for YOU and try not to listen to all of the noise that this "debate" always generates! As one of my lovely post natal midwives said "formula isn't poison so if you are happier and baby is happier, do what makes you both happy and dont feel guilty".

No judgement

Sh’yeah. Right.

I have done both and there’s a lot on this thread about BF feeding being easier because you don’t have to get out of bed to sterilise bottles, make them up etc. However, I never got out of bed to make up a bottle. Bottles were sterilised before I went to bed and taken upstairs and I used pre-made formula in cartons at room temp. Take kid off bottle, stick milk in bottle, that’s it. DH and I used to take it in turns to give DS his bottle during the night. When I BF my other child, it was just me getting up night after night for months! Ready made formula is more expensive so you do need to be aware of that.

*lid!

I was going to say, it’s the other way round

Mine had to be tube fed initially, and when she got the hang of things had to have formula top-ups because she didn't get enough otherwise. When she began weaning, we dropped the bottles - which tells you which we found easiest! Mine tanked up in the evenings, so I was unable to get back to my hobby until she stopped doing that, but I didn't really mind. I understand that some people might hate that.

Pros of formula:
You don't have to do every feed, so you can get more sleep or go out (assuming partner to help out).
They do sometimes sleep more after formula.

Pros of breast-feeding:
You don't have to organise taking bottles with you everywhere, sterilise them, etc. If you get held up somewhere, no problem. First thing in the morning - all you have to do is pick them up and start feeding, no having to go down to the kitchen to prepare/fetch a bottle.
It's free (possibly some unseen costs if you eat more, I guess).
There are supposedly some health benefits, but I don't think they're huge. I think they make most difference early on.

It's worth giving it a go, at least, but don't beat yourself up about it if it really doesn't work for you.

I'm still BF at 7 months because I formula fed my first and know how much thought went into sorting bottles to go out etc, and knew if I did that this time with 2 to get out the door I'd never leave the house.

We had a bumpy start to feeding but he sleeps as well as my first bottle fed baby did (currently 7-7 with one feed in the night, from a newborn only ever a max of 2 feeds a night) and takes a bottle so have left him on occasions with expressed milk (or now the odd bottle of formula now he's over 6 months).

I may have been lucky but having fed both ways, bf is so much easier, and I had absolutely planned to stop before now but carried on for ease so absolutely not one of the steadfast breast only mums ( not knocking those mums at all, I admire their dedication!!)

Organisational skills- if like me you lack them, or find them incredibly draining, then BF is often easier. It's a big job and I would ha ve struggled so much with everything that goes into formula feeding. I am also a spontaneous person and combined with my lack of organisation, I like to have the single most important thing for a baby ready on tap where it can't be forgotten.

I believe everyone has his own belief, history, preferences and they are all valid.

For me, breastfeeding was a natural choice as everyone around me breastfed. It felt very normal. And I absolutely loved it and still miss those times!

From a practical perspective I didn't mind getting up every 3 hours, but it was also easy as I only needed to turn to his cot, pick him up, put him on the breast few minutes, make him burp, put him back and go back to sleep.
I loved the feeling of him attached to me, to be able to provide milk for my baby. My partner was jealous I could have that special moment!

And it was super easy to go out or travel, no need to bring formula, wonder about temperature, quantities, sterilize bottles etc. I never turned down an invite because I had to breastfeed, on the contrary it was great to move around as him and me were self sufficient in a way.
But mostly it's really down to the fact it was an intimate, lovely moment and I felt like a super woman:).

I did one of each - I chose to ff my first, and tried to combi feed my second, but she refused bottles, so I bf her.

If I had a third, I'm not sure which I'd choose - I'd probably try to mix feed again.

With bottles, I loved that I could (and did) share the nights. Bottle admin was shared, and sterilising was about 5m work once a day. We made up bottles for 24hrs, cooled them quickly and put them in the fridge. We either out them in a jug of hot water or a microwave to heat.

It was easy. We went away for weekends, holidays etc, and it was really not an issue. You have to be organised to ensure you don't run out, but it was very easy.

I liked that if I was ill, I could get rest. As we shared nights, I was never really tired.

I didnt like that I was feeding my baby powder, and it didnt feel very natural. I loved how my baby developed a very equal with with both of us, and I maintained a sort of social life.

Formula didnt make her a good sleeper.

My bf baby, I liked how natural it felt, and it was easy. There wasnt really any 'establishing' breastfeeding, it was just mouth to tit and go. I liked the extra flexibility we had as a pair. I missed the flexibility I lost as an individual.

She was a terrible sleeper, and very much exclusively bonded to me, which has had a longer term effect on the balance of our family.

There are pros and cons to each.

If BF works for you (and you have to give it some time because it's a new skill to both you and your baby) then it's incredibly easy. Much easier than the faff of bottles.

If it doesn't work for you, it's hell and you should switch to formula.

I was lucky and found it a piece of cake, would have hated to do bottles. Several of my friends had the opposite experience. It's suck it and see and don't judge what other people do.

Bf is a hassle and I say that as someone who Bf 4 dc till nearly 2 with the last lot being twins. They would take turns to feed/ sleep. It was brutal at the time but they had a milk allergy and I think I was too exhausted to do anything but plod on. That said it’s instant and convenient in lots of ways.

lots of long lasting protection from gastrointestinal problems if you bf and other health benefits. Handy if they have a blocked up nose or conjunctivitis to squirt a bit of bm on it. I think it’s good to try bf for the colostrum if nothing else. That said just feed your baby in a way that works for you.