To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

You will hear various themes in any discussion between bf and ff. You question is why do people bf? I did it because I wanted to give ds what I believe is the best. To me it was logically the natural thing to do, but at the same time I did not relish the prospect of it and it all sounded a bit icky.

My personal experience of bf was it was a nightmare to establish until 7-8 weeks and it nearly broke me, but after a traumatic birth when ds ended up in SCBU for a few days it strengthen my resolved to give it a good try. I had little support in RL from an uninterested midwife and health visitor and if someone had told me some simple tips beforehand (discovered MN in 2004 and was recommended lansinoh and a few other tips) it would have been much easier. It did mean there was a reliance on me for feeding at night, but it was also easier without all the bottle prep and I didn't mind the restrictions for those first few months as they are not that small and intensely dependent for long and I didn't want to be away from ds anyway.

Once established a bf would be a quick 5-10 mins. ds slept through (6-7hrs) from 8 weeks (this stopped at 7 months, but not related to bf). He was never windy or colicky and rarely spat up. Once established it also did feel natural and it was amazing to know that my body was still giving ds everything he needed to continue to grow and develop outside of the womb.

It was really convenient being able to to just whip out a boob and feed instantly without all the faff of boiling & cooling water, making up formula and sterilising bottles, trying different bottles to reduce wind, especially when out, that my SIL had to do for dn born a few weeks later. dn slept through around the same age as ds did. Not sure about cost differences as never weighed them all up, I did buy a electric pump and all the bits/bag/bottles to go with that.

Good luck with whatever you decide, if I did it again I would 100% opt for bf, the lack of faff etc after those first few difficult, painful, sleepless weeks was worth it.

I exclusively pumped because I could breastfeeding and the absolute hassle of the washing and sterilising bottles. That was with just having to grab a bottle of milk from the fridge, I couldn’t imagine having to get up and boil a kettle, cook it etc too whilst the baby cried. I wished I could just get my boob out and be done with it, no extra effort required.

I don't understand why you wouldn't breastfeed if you are able to. Totally understand sometimes it is not possible and that's absolutely OK but I don't get why you wouldn't try. It's scientifically proven that breast milk provides more health benefits than formula fed.
I breast fed for the first 4 months, then my son hated the flow of milk, cried at feeding, didn't get enough milk and eventually my milk dried up and I switched to formula. Personally found breastfeeding a wonderful experience (will add I live in Switzerland where there is lots of support available which made a huge difference)
Pros -
-can feed anywhere, don't have to worry about prepping bottles.
-amazing bonding experience - best feeling in the world, don't care what anyone says definitely something really special about breastfeeding. Not sure how anyone that hasn't breastfed can say it doesn't make a difference - how do you know if you haven't.
-breast milk provides health benefits that formula can't
-didn't have to get up through the night to prepare bottles, could literally roll over and feed
Cons -
Unless you express milk, then you are the only one that can feed the baby - personally didn't mind this as I loved it

• boobs not as perky - maybe just me but they are not the same!

When I switched to formula feeding that was great too. Love the prep machine. Breastfed or bottle fed baby will both thrive. Don't be too influenced by your family, just because they didn't breastfeed. My husbands family and sisters in law didn't and made comments all the time pushing me to formula feed, implying their was something wrong with me, really peed me off. My baby had been unwell and in neonatal 5 days after he was born having been impacted by autoimmune disease. The medication I was taking he benefited from via my breastmilk and that helped his recovery. So personally think if you can it's a no brainer.

It might also be worth looking at the risks of not breastfeeding. All too often we talk
about the benefits of breastfeeding, but there are real risks to both mum and baby if you don’t.

Environmental factors if FF are huge too.

Good luck in whatever choice you make - just make sure it’s an informed choice.

BF can be really hard to start with but there is loads of support available. If you decide to give it a bash, it’s worth looking up what’s local to you before the baby arrives and when you’re well rested 😉

Both have advantages and disadvantages from the mother's perspective. Imo the 'holy grail' is mixed feeding... if you're happy to breastfeed but also to express or give a bottle of formula occasionally and your baby will accept that, you get many of the benefits of breastfeeding but you're not tied down in the same way. Means you can take turns with night feeds, but you yourself don't need to get out of bed to make a bottle up.

I breastfed both of mine well into toddler hood, mainly because I'm lazy and couldn't be bothered with having to sterilise and make up bottles if I'm honest. But I also researched it beforehand and the benefits from breastfeeding exclusively, if mother and baby are able to, are well documented. The research that indicates breastfed babies are at a significantly reduced risk of SIDs was one of my main reasons for wanting to breastfeed. Less chance of ear (and other) infections, instant antibodies for the newborn from the colostrum, cannot overfeed a breastfed baby, your milk changes to meet babies specific needs as they develop etc. I loved breastfeeding my first, second was trickier, but it was well worth it in my opinion. The fact it's free, and ready when needed is obviously a great bonus. Yes, it is hard work as completely down to the mum for all feeds, and can be a lot of work, but I was happy to make that sacrifice, as it was what I decided was the best choice for my babies, other parents have their own preference and views on how they want to feed their babies, and so long as an informed choice is made, everyone has to do what's right for their circumstances. Formula definitely has its place, for medical intervention, and in circumstances where the mother can't/doesn't want to breastfeed for any reason, but it shouldn't be the default option, when breast milk is available.

I’m from a bottle feeder family (if that’s even a thing!). I mean my mum FF all my siblings and me, and my sisters BF for between 1-6 weeks each with theirs. I thought I’d try it out, see if I could do a couple of weeks for the colostrum but put no pressure on myself and there was none on me. Knew very little about BF; wasn’t what you’d call a BF evangelist. (Also assumed I’d have all the drugs necessary when giving birth and feel I fully deserved them 😃)

I ended up EBF for 14 months because it was so easy for me. I didn’t experience milk issues, latch issues or colic and never had mastitis or chapped nipples so just never switched to FF. She was a fairly fast feeder and after a few months would happily go 3-4 hours and sometimes longer. I didn’t feel tied down or that it was particularly an issue for me to do the (night) feeds. After a few months it went from 3 to 2 and then 1 night feed and we were both back asleep with minutes so worked all round. I know others who had a similar experience to me, and some both BF and FF fed were really challenging. As she got older I would occasionally have a small wine just after feeding so it metabolised. Shoot me down.

suppose I’m saying just have an open mind to any scenario. BF might be easier than you think, or could be a total nightmare for baby, you or both. Honestly think whatever is the best solution is the one to go with. In real life I’ve never heard this FF vs BF judgement of people.

@LemonPledge555

what are the risks?

I did both and both have their positives.

I bottle fed my first which meant that other people could feed him (very useful when I was very ill and generally useful as I was a young mother living with my parents). I didn't like the amount of washing/sterilising and forward planning and found formula and bottles expensive.

I breast fed my second and found that it was so easy to comfort my baby that way. Any time he was sad, hungry, scared, in pain, anything... I could just latch him on and comfort him. Didn't have to take things with me because I make the food on the go. As he got older, I started to get a bit frustrated that I always had to get up with him in the morning or be the one to do bedtime because he needed a feed at those times. He weaned himself off earlier than I had anticipated and I was quite glad it was over. He slept through the night from around six months, same as my bottle fed child.

If I were to have another, I'd probably breastfeed again. I liked that it was free and convenient. I also feel that it helped me to bond more easily.

I mix fed DS1. He knew his way around boobs and bottles, no hassles there. Bottle was easier because he would just guzzle it down, quick burp then back to sleep for another solid 3-4 hours. DH and I also did alternate nights (yes, even when he went back to work!) so neither of us ended up completely exhausted.
However, I'm EBF DS3 currently and I'm not missing faffing about cleaning and sterilising bottles, waiting for them to cool enough blah blah blah and also so much less washing as baby is not as sicky/windy as DS1 was so be thats another bonus!
However. I don't understand the idea that BF is easier or quicker at night. Hello, cluster feeding! I am struggling to stay awake while I endlessly have this little baby hanging off one boob or the other. I won't risk falling asleep during a feed as that's so dangerous so it's lamp on and Netflix time for me. I miss DH not being able to take a turn.
I think I will try to push through the next few weeks then if no improvement I'll introduce a bottle. The current situation is not fair on DS1.

For those saying making bottles is a hassle - it’s 100% not with a perfect prep machine. By the time baby had woke up enough to start crying, a perfectly made bottle was ready.

Formula feeding my DD and honestly it’s a faff. I wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t (literally nothing came out).

Sterilising, making bottles on demand, night feeds, it’s a lot of hard work especially when out and about - we went to the zoo and then my parents on Saturday and carrying the bottles/formula bottles/bottle warmer was such a pain (needed 5 while we we out!). Wish I could/had more support with breastfeeding

The thought of BF makes me squirm! I didn't even want to try. Have a healthy, smart 10 year old. Tallest in class. Slept every night since she was six weeks old.

Both are hard and both are a faff but in different ways. I've done both.

Bottle feeding a newborn cluster feeding baby is insanely hard. As is a breastfeeding one but I couldn't logistically keep on top of making enough bottles.

Breast feeding is hard, but it's convenient which makes it easier.
Bottle feeding is easier but it's very inconvenient, which makes it harder, so they even out about the same!

Why does it make you squirm? It's the most natural thing in the world!

I think some people really struggle with BF because of how intense it is. You get touched out and if baby won't take a bottle then they're constantly attached to you, it's really difficult to get a break. Some people hate this and need their personal space, some people thrive on it.

The benefits of BF that I can recall are that it's way less hassle than FF (assuming no latch issues). There's lots of health benefits like antibodies, halved risk of SIDS, reduced risk of infections, soothing properties, it has melatonin which will make baby sleepy. Colic is much less likely, it's free, it adapts to baby, it releases oxytocin, reduces your risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

Those are the one's I remember. Overall I'm glad that I breastfed, but there were definitely a couple of occasions where I thought maybe I'd made the wrong choice. Mostly when DH was knocking on the bathroom door 2 minutes into my first shower in days because DS was crying for me!

Formula gives babies an excellent start in life. Mine were healthy and happy babies, not ill, slept through from eight weeks and bonded perfectly with DH and I. Nothing selfish in choosing what is best for you, your baby and family. In our case that was formula

I love breastfeeding . I love

• not having to sterilise bottles
• not worrying about constipated babies
• the ease of taking DD on holiday (no bottles, no worries about taking formula /finding formula abroad)

-that breastfeeding is absolutely free

When I want an afternoon/evening with the girls/Undisturbed sleep I express and DH feeds her.

If you @choolaboola don't want to breastfeed don't but your post was unnecessarily judgmental about something that is natural.

I am struggling to stay awake while I endlessly have this little baby hanging off one boob or the other. I won't risk falling asleep during a feed as that's so dangerous so it's lamp on and Netflix time for me.

This was my issue with bfing, at least in the earlier weeks. I was absolutely exhausted but couldn’t share the feeding with DH, but was terrified of falling asleep while feeding DD. I just couldn’t bring a 7lb baby into the bed with me in the dark, latch them on and drop off - I would be terrified about rolling onto them, or them ending up wedged under my arm or a blanket etc.

Every breastfeed I had to get out of bed and go downstairs and sit on the sofa to wake myself up a bit.

I don’t recognise this ‘latch, snuggle and fall back to sleep’ thing.

can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

I know other people have different experiences, but for me, breastfeeding was just unbelievably easy. Establishing it with both my DDs was simple, didn't have any pain, no issues latching etc. DD1 stopped night feeds pretty young, then dropped to just feeding first thing in the morning and last thing at night shortly after she turned one - and it was no bother if I was out, she just didn't feed and was happy to go to bed without it. She also took to a bottle of expressed milk pretty quickly, so I could leave her for a bit with DH.
DD2 is only 4 months old but so far it's been just as easy.
In my circumstances, formula feeding would have been an unnecessary expense and faff.

You sound quite insecure.

What about when babies cluster feed and women talk of being pinned to the sofa for hours on end with a numb bum

I couldn’t cope with that

What the OP will soon realise and what every parent on this thread knows - all babies are different. Whilst useful to share a spectrum of experiences it’s not “do this and this will happen” else we’d all have the magic solution. Everyone’s experience (good and bad) will be different.

You know what, I watched all of Downton abbey while cluster feeding.

No other time since being a parent have I been able to sit on the sofa and binge watch something I enjoy for a whole day.

Dad kept me supplied in food and water. All good.

It's how you frame stuff right?