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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think people who can't drive but want to should learn?

91 replies

branflake81 · 23/01/2008 14:20

I've noticed that on a lot of threads people use the reason that they can't drive for not being able to go to place X or being hindered from doing Y. They phrase it more as I "don't" drive, implying they never will.

If an inability to drive causes such logistical problems as it seems to do in some people's threads - why don't they just learn?

Yes, it's expensive and a pain but if it will make life easier then surely that's the solution.

I saved up for 2 years to afford driving lessons - good job too as it took me 18 months and 7 tests to pass. Now I can drive I don't very often as I can walk to work, the shops etc but the point is I CAN IF I NEED TO.

I just think if I can do it (and driving really did not come naturally to me) there is no reason - besides medical - why other people can't learn if they want to.

OP posts:
minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:32

so was my response.........not even i would have knives on me wheels
(although i'd consider them on DS's pram wheels).

minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:33

ah..that was at mankymanger not minouminou
duh

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:34

I like the idea of knives on the pram wheels.

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:36

Branflakes, think you should change your OP to:

"am i being unreasonable for being ridiculously chuffed with myself for finally passing my driving test after 18 months and 7 tests? I used to think I was terrified of driving but I'm not any more and I'm so happy that I've now got this really useful skill".

Then we'd all have gone - "no way, you go girl!!"

minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:38

so do i
checking the quinny website now..........

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:39

Sounds like something you're more likely to find on the Bugaboo website, you know what they're like for their £90 extras...

bero · 23/01/2008 15:40

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would be a rubbish driver. Far too nervous. Especially here in Germany where the motorways have no speed limit . I'm also not overly blessed with spatial awareness. So I leave it. Fortunately Germany also has great public transport. I'm used to longish bus/train trips and hope I don't use not driving as an excuse for not doing things.

dh is an excellent driver, so on the occasions where we need to hire a car (we don't have one of our own) he does it and loves it.

thebecster · 23/01/2008 15:41

I have passed test (on first attempt at 23, but after 6 years of lessons and panic attacks where I wouldn't take test in case I killed someone), and in an emergency could drive eg if had to drive loved one to hospital or somesuch. But it scares me so much still. Last time I drove (last year), I had sweat dripping from my hands on the steering wheel onto my knees and I was shaking for hours afterwards. It was a 5 minute drive to Waitrose, so really not worth that amount of unhappiness just to buy a few carrots... Since we live in central London, and Ocado delivers, DH drives if necessary (visits to inlaws etc), I drive less and less. But I dread the fact that I'll have to 'keep my hand in' as we'd like to move to the country and I don't want DS to miss out on any social/sporting stuff in the future. Would love it if the public transport system outside of London was better so I could be a non-driver forever. Better for the planet, better for my poor old nerves! And branflakes it isn't a 'pull yourself together' kind of thing. Driving phobia is usually linked to OCD, very difficult to treat and difficult to live with...

UnquietDad · 23/01/2008 15:43

The idea of propelling ourselves around in torpedoes propelled by fossil fuel is daft and dangerous anyway.

I'm hoping that the programmable hover-car will be here in my lifetime. Can't find it now but the BBC website had something about these travel-pod things at airports which you can programme over set routes.

FioFio · 23/01/2008 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Desiderata · 23/01/2008 15:58

Oh, bero! There German autobahns are a living nightmare !!!

Anyhow, in answer to the OP, if everybody drove, no one would get anywhere. It would be complete gridlock .. so I'd be thankful for the pedestrians amongst us.

WE ROCK!!!

Desiderata · 23/01/2008 15:59

Those ...

CatIsSleepy · 23/01/2008 16:03

I put it off for a looooong time because of fear
very logical fear too, if you ask me

Reallytired · 23/01/2008 16:42

If someone does not feel confident to drive for whatever reason then its their business. I do not think they should made to feel bad.

For example my elderly neighbour has recently given up driving at the age of 86. Although her doctor felt she was medically fit, she felt that her reflexes had slowed down. I respect her decision,

Learning to drive is not easy and a small minority of people find it very hard to to aquire this skill. It also has to be remembered that driving is a skill that you lose if you don't drive regularly. It is irresponsible to get into a car and drive if you have not driven for years without having a few refresher driving lessons first.

I think its right that a driving test is fairly stress as real driving can be pretty stressful. A driving licence should not be obtainable by everyone.

Inexperienced or nervous drivers are more likely to have accidents (and possibly kill people?)

unknownrebelbang · 23/01/2008 16:48

YABU, each to their own.

Learning to drive is expensive, as is owning and running a car.

The people I know that can't drive are extremely capable of getting around.

Anxiety is another issue.

Anyway, don't we need less cars on the road, not more?

mumeeee · 23/01/2008 16:52

YASU. I don't drive because we just can't afford it. Even if I did learn to drive we wouldn't be able to afford two cars.
I did learn when I was younger but didn't take my test. I just catch the bus or walk to where I want to go.
Yes it is a pain sometimes to get across but I just plan jorneys ahead as much as possible.
When my children were younger I just walked or got the bus or trian with them.

mankymanger · 23/01/2008 17:29

Fio, saddles, what an excellent idea! I would love to trot around london on a horse, off to the corner shop for my pint of milk, hoofing the hoodies out of the way, taking him on the tube for longer journeys (say, if you were going south of the river and perhaps fancied taking your horse to clapham common for a picnic.)

Theochris · 23/01/2008 19:11

I agree with UD driving is not as imp as reading and writing. My DP does not drive and it's no problem at all. We do not live in London though we are well served for public transport (I think this is imp if you don't drive). He never complains and if ever I don't fancy it offers an alternative.

You should be glad everyone doesn't drive, it cuts the congestion (and the CO2) for the rest of us. I'm glad my DP doesn't as we run one car and it cuts costs.

soopermum1 · 23/01/2008 19:47

YABU, it costs a lot of money to learn and then what's the point of being able to drive if you don't buy a car, which can cost a fortune to buy, run and insure, especially if you have no driving experience. how some people are able to run cars i have no idea, they're expensive, and i am not particularly bothered about adding yet another car to the roads.

Christywhisty · 23/01/2008 19:56

I past my test a few weeks before moving to where I do now in 1993. I have hardly driven since. I have no confidence in myself at all.

I would need to have more lessons again to get back my confidence, which I can't really afford and would also need a second car (again more expense).

SlackSally · 23/01/2008 21:32

YABU. I don't drive because it'll be too expensive to learn and then to buy and run a car. I didn't get a chance when I was 17. I just could not have afforded it with my crappy part time job and my parents weren't in a position to pay.

I also don't drive because I'm a very, very anxious person, I get anxious just being driven by someone else. To be honest, I think a lot of drivers could do with being more anxious. Many seem to forgot they are driving a potentially lethal machine and become very blase when they get too used to driving.

And then there's the fact that it's terrible for the environment and that walking everywhere keeps me fit.

In the event I need to make a longer journey, I use public transport. I'm in Brighton, and the buses/trains are pretty good.

OracleInaCoracle · 23/01/2008 21:38

YABU, it cost a lot to learn, it takes a lot of confidence, and public transport is better for the environment, is often just as quick and should be used in place of a car when possible. not everyone wants/needs to learn to drive, and those of us who dont shouldnt be sneered at!

milliec · 23/01/2008 22:08

Message withdrawn

sandcastles · 23/01/2008 22:22

Unquietdad,

"It would be more work - but surely more sensible - to have your prowess as a driver continually assessed over 30 lessons over a year:

That's how the do it here in Soth Australia. You can have the on off practicle test, but as I am crap at tests I did the log books method, where you are assessed over X lessons until you reach a continuous level of competency.

Took me 10 lessons with instructor @$50 per shot, but I drove with FIL for 6 months before I booked lessons.

Much easier & like you say, a better way of judging competency, than a one off test.

amytheearwaxbanisher · 23/01/2008 22:24

my dh hates to be in a car and would be terrified of driving one i drive so its not a problem some people just dont want too