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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think people who can't drive but want to should learn?

91 replies

branflake81 · 23/01/2008 14:20

I've noticed that on a lot of threads people use the reason that they can't drive for not being able to go to place X or being hindered from doing Y. They phrase it more as I "don't" drive, implying they never will.

If an inability to drive causes such logistical problems as it seems to do in some people's threads - why don't they just learn?

Yes, it's expensive and a pain but if it will make life easier then surely that's the solution.

I saved up for 2 years to afford driving lessons - good job too as it took me 18 months and 7 tests to pass. Now I can drive I don't very often as I can walk to work, the shops etc but the point is I CAN IF I NEED TO.

I just think if I can do it (and driving really did not come naturally to me) there is no reason - besides medical - why other people can't learn if they want to.

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 23/01/2008 15:05

driving is a life skill. like literacy and numeracy. sure, you can live life perfectly well without them, but if certainly helps if you are literate and numerate.
persoanally, i think a few toys less at christams, and the money put into a pot for driving lessons at 17 is far better than a gazillion toys at christmas, and then struggling to find the cash to learn how to drive when you are older.
i failed my test five times, and didnt pass till i was 30 and almost 8 months pregnant with dc3. i wish i had gained this skill when i was 18 and realtively unencumbered

Pruners · 23/01/2008 15:05

Message withdrawn

littleducks · 23/01/2008 15:06

Money and childcare is what it boils down to for me!

I had lessons interupted by pregnancy (hyperemesis) and birth of dd but started when she was 6 months again and failed my test twice, first time i drove too fast as a car was pressurising me from behind but it was a national speed limit road and i was below speed limit, the following week speed limit changed to 30/40, second time i was terribly nervous and failed as i was worried after first time.

Then we moved and i got pregnant with hyperemesis so couldnt practice and now my theory test has expired!

Now if your offering to babysit and pay for lessons when this one is born, fine otherwise but out! I wish i had learnt when i had no childcare issues but i could barely afford it then so didnt.

UnquietDad · 23/01/2008 15:06

I think driving has been sold to people as a life skill. It is only "necessary" because society has become sos car-focussed. If public transport were invested in properly then cars would not be "necessary", they'd be a lifestyle choice.

mrspnut · 23/01/2008 15:06

I sort of see where Branflake is coming from. I know someone who expects people to go out of their way for them. They expect to be collected and dropped off from every event, they never seem to be able to go anywhere alone and the excuse they always use is that they don't drive.

I'm not saying that's the case for everyone but as someone who hasn't always driven and had to use public transport to get to and from places, it's a bit annoying that others expect a concession to be made for their non driving status.

bran · 23/01/2008 15:07

I do judge some people for not being able to drive (DH for instance), but on the whole I don't think everyone should be able to drive. There is a difference between someone stating a fact that they can't to somewhere/do something because they don't drive, and someone who is whinging/feeling sorry for themselves and always looking to others to drive them around. The second type of person is annoying, so I sort of agree with the OP in that they should learn to drive (if they can) or shut up.

I think I'm particularly touchy on the subject because DH doesn't drive, for no good reason. We are supposed to be moving to Dublin in a few years and we are going to be hugely limited as to where we can live because if we are not walking distance to school/shops/public transport then all the responsability for getting each member of the family where they need to go will be down to me.

UnquietDad · 23/01/2008 15:09

Why doesn't your DH drive, bran?
Perhaps he is worried that he'd be a liability on the road. Driving's like playing the piano - some people just can't "get" it. if you're tone-deaf there's no point trying to learn.

AnAngelWithin · 23/01/2008 15:09

well if you have never jumped off the top of a building, how do you know if it will hurt?!?! its the same as that really.

i don't drive. I have failed my test 3 times. Sometimes, for convenience yes, it would be nice to drive, but purely as a neccessity not just for the hell of being able to. Theres not many places that you CAN'T get these days if you can't drive. Thats what public transport is for. As well as for the environment.

just because you want to come on here and boast about passing your test, well thats fine, well done, but you don't need to do it in a way that has a go at people who have a genuine fear of driving. Its a fear not an excuse. now my lack of housework, well thats a different matter

Pruners · 23/01/2008 15:10

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 23/01/2008 15:13

It's way too expensive to learn for a lot of people.

Chequers · 23/01/2008 15:14

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 23/01/2008 15:14

I agree about public transport.

Outside cities, it can be dire to non-existent.

minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:17

quite frankly, i'd love to drive, but as i tell people, I wouldn't get in a car i was driving
this isn't some female paranoia or owt
i'd kill someone
deliberately
i think i'd be incredibly aggressive, and that's just not fair
i've thought about learning "just in case", but i know what i'm like....i'd turn into something out of "deathproof" within a month

mankymanger · 23/01/2008 15:21

Branflake, not sure why it irks you so much. I don't really like the whole 'well I did it so why can't you?' mentality on anything - everyone's different.

I don't drive because I'm not allowed to for medical reasons. Even if I was fit and healthy I would probably be a menace... maybe you should be grateful us menaces decide not to drive!

Did you see the story about the woman who was scared of driving so went 20mph down the motorway?

idlingabout · 23/01/2008 15:22

Agree with UQD. Driving should not be a 'life-skill'. So many of our problems can be traced back to being a car-dominated society. I've said this on another thread but I firmly believe the 'long-hours culture' wouldn't be possible without the car as people simply wouldn't be able to 'stay late' at the drop of a hat as they would miss their train etc. I didn't drive until my my mid-thirties when the pressures of work made it impossible to use public transport. People drive their kids to school when they could walk - resulting in under-exercised children. Long-hours make cooking meals from scratch very difficult - resulting in use of convenience food resulting in poor diet etc etc etc

minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:22

it's not something i make a huge deal out of though...my choice..i don't expect drivers to pick up my slack, and am fortunate to live in a place which has fairly good public transport

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:23

I went to University, studied to be a Dr, earn over 100k a year and live in a lovely big detached house. Why are all you oiks complaining about having no money to learn to drive? You should get off your bums and go to University, just like me.

mankymanger · 23/01/2008 15:26

pmsl at dr saveme

its a joke, right?

bran · 23/01/2008 15:26

UD, you're being kind to my DH, but there is no good reason. He missed that teenage slot that most Irish people seem to learn in, when you can save money/speed up the learning process by practising in a parent's car with a parent beside you because he was in Ireland and his family were in Malaysia so there was no family car available. When he first left uni and got a job he did start lessons and bought a second-hand mini and he was averagely good at it, but the mini was stolen. Then we moved to London (about 17 years ago) and there's really no need to drive here, in fact I didn't have a car for the first 8 years that we lived here. I still wanted him to learn though as even living in London there is some driving eg when we are on holiday, and to this day he promises that he's on the verge of taking lessons - when he has some time, maybe next year.

He promised to have learned before we had kids. He promised to learn after we got ds. He promised to learn before we started assessment for our second child. He is currently promising to learn before we move to Dublin so that we can consider a wider range of locations to live. He's not incapbable, he's not scared, he's not too poor (except possibly time poor), he's just annoying. And he really, really hates it when I decide I don't like driving/have too much of a headache to drive/have a sore foot (which strangely enough is much more likely to happen when we are supposed to be going somewhere that he wants to and I don't ). He is exactly the type of person who should be judged harshly for his lack of driving. Possibly even whipped.

myalias · 23/01/2008 15:27

ROFL

minouminou · 23/01/2008 15:29

oi....who are you calling oiks?
that's it...i'm learning now...and you shall be first under my wheels of doom (with knives around the rim)
have at you, sir/madam/dr!
aside from my desire to drive, i agree....on a wider societal kinda level...with UQD and idlingabout
there's just too many of the noisy metal bleeders about and people are going mad with every commute

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:30

yes it's a joke MM, don't worry!

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:30

yes it's a joke MM, don't worry!

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:30

yes it's a joke MM, don't worry!

Saveme · 23/01/2008 15:31

blardy page got stuck, sorry!