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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

…to ask for your “if I didn’t laugh I’d cry” moments?!

40 replies

RaRaRaspoutine · 11/09/2022 12:33

(Lighthearted)

My mum and both my grandparents have got covid, so I am pootling between houses to cook, clean and make sure everyone is okay and has painkillers etc. I look (and feel) like a little bemasked Florence Nightingale.

On Friday an Openreach van turned up, fiddled with some wires and pissed off… leaving me with no broadband or phone. It won’t be fixed until tomorrow at the earliest. I would like the BT man to know that he is an arse.

My period has turned up (it’s on time but I’m still unreasonably annoyed). I’m bloated and grumpy and I would like a holiday. On a trip back from the pharmacy this morning a tiny little boy holding his teddy waved at me and I thought I would burst into tears!!

Oh and Coronation Street hasn’t been on… and I can’t catch up with Doc Martin as there’s no internet!

I just had a (slightly hysterical) laugh to myself. It can only get better, can’t it?! Please come tell me the moments you had to laugh or you would cry… whilst I make up another lemsip.

OP posts:
namechange202086 · 11/09/2022 12:40

Cat shit on the floor, 2 smashed bowl and tomato sauce massacre, overwhelming sense of impending doom... and it's not even 1pm.

mamabear715 · 11/09/2022 12:44

Probably the time I got an almost £13,000 electricity bill.. what can you do but laugh? It was so ridiculous.
(It WAS right, btw!)

stopitleaveitgetdown · 11/09/2022 12:56

Oh a bit of a long one. Was going through a VERY troubling time with teenage son, university, hardly any money, best friend dying, failing an exam and assignments due etc
I done a 13 hr shift on postnatal ward in the height of summer. Finished at 8pm and walked to my car.
Started driving went over a roundabout and my tire popped. Limped the car to a side road. Then got out to call RAC. Then realised with my lack of money I had been cut off and I hadn't paid my RAC DD so they wouldn't help anyway.
Walked back to the hospital to call my mum to come and get me. She couldn't add me to her rac because of whatever. My spare tyre was not actually compatible with my car. I had to walk back to the car because it was on a restricted road to park it on the main road with no lines on.

I laughed hysterically at first but then I burst into tears and promptly felt suicidal wondering how much more I can take

HappyDays40 · 11/09/2022 13:02

Kid has managed two weeks dry, pisses the bed. Put him to sleep in my bed three hours later shits and vomits on my mattress. ( This was last year)

Thelnebriati · 11/09/2022 13:18

I don't know why I did it, I opened a jar of mayonnaise while holding it over the floor not the worktop. I have a disability that affects my grip and randomly drop or throw things.
You know how this ended.

JaninaDuszejko · 11/09/2022 13:24

DS got so angry about having his dirty nappy changed he started throwing his poo at me. We started potty training the next day.

FreezyFreezy · 11/09/2022 13:40

Teaching a class of 28 year 5s how to sew. By myself. As a supply teacher who'd only arrived at that school the day before. It was chaos (well, it wasn't, but it felt like it was).

RaRaRaspoutine · 11/09/2022 13:42

Oh @stopitleaveitgetdown I know those moments well!! I did a hysterical laugh/cry in the middle of an Italian street once after everything on the holiday went wrong and then a (non-refundable) tour boat left without us cos a member of our party decided they needed the loo at the last minute.

My own Dcat has not shat anywhere yet @namechange202086 - but there’s time!

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 11/09/2022 13:48

About 14yrs ago, I had cavity wall insulation put in. Because I had an open fire, the fitters had to put an air brick vent thing in the lounge.

I worked from home at the time.

I was called down from my office upstairs by one of the guys saying his boss needed to speak with me. I trotted down and the guy who called me silently pointed to the lounge.

I walked in.

I'd never seen a random man sobbing before...he couldn't speak, just waved his arms and mumbled. I looked to where he was pointing and lo! The whole of my lounge wall was a pile of rubble!

Never have I laughed so much! The poor guy was hysterical, was in floods of tears, saying it had never happened before. It could only happen to me!

I calmed the guy down, reminded him there was insurance from his company and my house cover and said I'd wanted to redecorate anyway!

Loobyloo68 · 11/09/2022 14:04

Locked my car keys in the car, years ago before keyfobs were used . Walked miles to a phonebox, no mobiles then either. Used my last change on a phone call that was answered by an answering machine. Walked back to my car and decided I'd have to smash the window. I put the window through got in the car, cleaned the glass up. I put my hand in my bag to get a cigarette and pulled out the spare key. I still don't know why it was in my bag and why I didn't find it while I was routing for change and cigarettes earlier 🙄

MistressoftheDarkSide · 11/09/2022 14:20

My XH and I were taking my DS on a family holiday to Scotland - we were driving from the South coast to his Mother’s family village where his brother lived to meet up with a large number of extended family, and were travelling in our Mitsubishi Delica.

We had to pick up our trailer tent as (joy of joys) we were going to be camping and it was stored at his parents place in the North of our county. As we had recently changed vehicles, we had to change the number plate on said trailer tent.

Numpty Ex had neglected to bring a screwdriver so used his pocket knife to do this …… and stabbed himself badly in the hand 🙄

Rather than turn around to a local hospital, Ex bandaged himself up and said we’d find somewhere on the way, which we did - he got patched up and we continued on our way. Running late, but on track…..

Then one of the tires on the trailer tent blew, so we had to stop under a flyover on the motorway, Ex had a spare and changed it - police turned up, made sure everything was ok and off we went again.

Of course by the time we got just across the border it was the middle of the night. We’re off the motorway and on normal roads.

And then - the other trailer tent tire also blew. Obviously we’re now out of spares, so we call the AA or whoever we were with, and have to wait about three hours for them to find us.

DS was about 8 or 9 and was surprisingly good - I think we played the longest game of “I went to the shop and bought a turtle” in history, and a tow truck arrived and loaded the trailer tent and got us to the village we were heading for where BIL lives. We’d been keeping everyone informed, and as we didn’t have the trailer tent to sleep in, we went to BILs house and we’re put up there in their adult sons room - he was away, can’t remember where, but he had the hardest mattress I have ever encountered so although shattered it was not a good nights sleep.

It took two days to get the trailer tent sorted, then we got to the campsite and got settled.

DS was sleeping in the van, we were in the trailer tent. Our first night camping, there was a mahoosive thunderstorm and a bolt of lightning but the ground so close to the van my poor DS was absolutely terrified. Thus began the wettest summer Scotland had seen since the 40s apparently.

I remember standing in the middle of the campsite absolutely losing my shit and yelling at the Gods like a banshee before dissolving into hysterical laughter…… and thinking “You couldn’t make this shit up”

Ex wasn’t the most clam and stable of people and the whole family in-law dynamics were very odd to put it politely so while all this was going on, there was a whole hooha about whether his tetanus was up to date necessitating another hospital visit and concern about his health etc - to be fair he had actually damaged a tendon. I had suggested not ploughing ahead but rufty tufty biker man had to be a hero 🙄

It was the wettest, most stressful and chaotic holiday ever.

I spent a lot of time laughing manically so I didn’t cry…..

RaRaRaspoutine · 11/09/2022 14:26

@MistressoftheDarkSide having once awoken in a flooded tent with my copy of The Other Boleyn Girl floating next to my head - camping is cursed!!

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 11/09/2022 14:28

Yes my camping days are well and truly over now 😂 too old and need my comforts….

Wet weather under canvas is the pits!!!

Welshrarebitontoast · 11/09/2022 14:37

Managed to “spill” a bottle of milk in my car, even though the lid was on and the bottle was upright.

Milk has soaked into my football bucket hat (which was a present from my niece) so quickly chucked it in the washing machine, soaked up the spillage, steam cleaned the seat/carpet, covered the spill spots in bicarbonate of soda.

Took the hat out of the washing machine and the colours have all run.

Now had to spend £13 on a replacement (for a hat I don’t like) as I don’t want to upset my lovely niece.

Laughing now but will probably cry tomorrow when my car stinks.

Duchess379 · 11/09/2022 14:43

I was selling my house due to ill health of my mum, 5 months in the sale fell through, I lost my buyer as a result & my dad had a heart attack. Fun times 😆🤦🏼

Soubriquet · 11/09/2022 14:46

Gotta be my dh.

Early one morning, the dog peed on the floor so I stuck a tea towel over it and dashed out to work. This was around 2am.

Later on, dh gets up, washes his hair and used the tea towel to dry it.

I tell him why it was on the floor and then said, I guess I can literally call you a piss head now.

His face went from anger, to stunned, to hysterics in seconds.

He still wasn’t happy but he found it amusing.

Hopeandlove · 11/09/2022 14:50

Oh god the shittest day ever at work and ex husband being a total and utter shit and kids fighting. I went to Tesco and brought a few bits and pieces including 6 bottles of wine - I didn’t even drink they were presents for going to someone’s house. It poured with rain and there was a nasty accident in front of me I braked and all the bottles of wine rolled off and smashed all over the floor. I stopped the car and laughed at the sheer shit of the situation (cars in front totalled but everyone on) the police arrived and he came to my car asking if I was a witness - I undid the window the stench of alcohol must of hit him and he asked if I had been drinking I laughed and giggled and laughed and pointed to the back seat and told him I hadn’t had a drink for 5 long years and I’d had the shittest day ever. He was so nice. I got home. And then I’m afraid to say I paid the village handy man to get rid of all the glass etc and do the best he could with the red wine 🍷 and just literally thought it was the worst day ever

RaRaRaspoutine · 11/09/2022 14:54

@Duchess379 that’s the kind of situation that’s just extra shit on a shit sandwich isn’t it? If there is a god he’s the kind of god if likes to take the ladder out of the swimming pool on The Sims.

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 11/09/2022 15:07

It really does seem sometimes as if the Universe just decides to see how much people can take in one go and whether they’ll go postal or just muscle through…..

if this life is a simulation or a weird game I want a serious word with the “controllers” for some of the unbelievable shit I’ve experienced….

What’s that meme about unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour - yeah, that’s me that is …..

Commiserations to everyone who suffers from the fickle finger of Fate on a far too regular basis…,

BlackeyedSusan · 11/09/2022 15:14

@Welshrarebitontoast mop up then spray the car with antibac spray. It will stop the smell.

BlackeyedSusan · 11/09/2022 15:17

God I've had some years like that. Funnily enough 2020was better than others. (Which says more about the others really.)

Welshrarebitontoast · 11/09/2022 15:19

@BlackeyedSusan Ive mopped, steamed and put bicarbonate of soda on it.

Also ordered an enzyme killer so crossed fingers.

BlackeyedSusan · 11/09/2022 15:30

Sounds like that should work. I use antibac as it lives in the car and we don't have electricity close to the car to plug anything in.

Welshrarebitontoast · 11/09/2022 15:45

@BlackeyedSusan Thank you for the tip! I’ll definitely try it tomorrow if I need too.

LosttheremoteAGAIN · 11/09/2022 15:50

Today
its day 3 of 6 shifts
up since half 6-started at 8
8:05 I’m dealing with a crackhead who is coming down from whatever she’s taken-she took offence to me and spent almost an hour trying to hit/bite/swear at me
went to the loo-the phantom pisser had been in and weed all over the floor-again
big boss with an even bigger ego was in-kept shouting at me to do whatever-while I was up to my tits in other jobs
50% of the customers have been lovely-the other 50% have been fucking torture
a bloke comes in-he looks like he’s been dug up-he was filthy-down to having soil in his hair
i went to get his coffee and he screams at me that I have ‘dirty germs’ and he wants another one made
i went to make it,handed it over and he screams at me again because I asked if he wanted sugar
when I walked away,as I’m not taking his abuse,he starts screaming that hes going to murder me and rape my corpse
big boss hears and says nothing to him-she has a go at me for walking away from him
we then got really busy and I’m running round making orders up-it then dies-big boss has a go at me for daring to stand and just breathe for 3 seconds-her favourites can do that all day-just not me
finally-it’s hometime-big boss not happy I’m leaving but can’t say anything (thankfully)
I get home only to find dp had done some diy and left the spare room a mess (hes cleaning it up as I type)

I just want to bloody cry but cant
oh and I’m back in again tomorrow to do it all again