To think DH's plan is mad (re dd party)

[partlamaam]

DD is turning 5id October. She's just starting reception now.

We were not planning on doing a birthday party this year (probably just a birthday tea and cake with family) as we were going to take her to see frozen/Disney on ice/wicked (whatever she chose) in the west end. We spoke about this with DD a few months ago and that was her choice, but in true 4 year old form had changed her mind this weekend and wants a party instead.

I'm looking at booking a set party place which holds up to 20 children. Once DD, her cousins and our close family friend children are invited, there will be about 6 spaces. DH and I were talking about what to do with those spaces, and I suggested that I will give it a week or two of school to see what friends DD makes and what names we are hearing, and then I will message the parents directly on the class WhatsApp with an invite.

Here is where DH and I disagree.

I think that is perfectly fine and enough.

DH thinks we should put a message in the main WhatsApp with all 30 sets of parents explaining that we are having a party for DD but there are only 6 spaces, that's why not all children are invited, almost an apology. I think this is totally overkill and brings odd attention to something that is not an issue anyway.

I think he feels uncomfortable as there have already been two 'whole class' party invites go out on the WhatsApp group. But as I told him, that doesn't mean that there aren't other smaller parties we don't know about too. He seems to think that we will be setting up DD to be public enemy number 1.

So: AIBU to think that inviting 6 school friends is ok and DD will not suffer after effects and we do not need to announce this to the other 24 parents?

Gods, she’s 4. Just do family party and maybe some of her best mates who moved from nursery. Plenty of time in primary for the whole crazy drama of parties.
And your dh is tapped.

Surely early days of reception are when not having a class party causes the least consternation? Everyone accepts the kids don’t know each other. Class parties become more thorny as they get older IME. Take your chance to have a much smaller affair this year OP, and say nothing to the WhatsApp group!

You send a message on the class watsapp chat asking if any other parents want to have a joint class party for children born in the same month? That way nobody gets left out and you can share the cost

Inviting 6 friends is fine. Ignore your DH.

I wouldn’t invite any one from the class , you have 13-14 guests your DD knows to come to the party that’s plenty

I'd scrap family and friends and have the whole class. I've seen it, your dd won't be invited by the others and it's not worth the drama.

This seems to vary enormously from school to school. My DD just finished reception and only three kids didn’t have the whole class to their party. I just wouldn’t invite anyone from the class if you don’t want the whole class, it’ll be too early to know who her friends are and you don’t know what the general pattern is at that school.