To think DH's plan is mad (re dd party)

[partlamaam]

DD is turning 5id October. She's just starting reception now.

We were not planning on doing a birthday party this year (probably just a birthday tea and cake with family) as we were going to take her to see frozen/Disney on ice/wicked (whatever she chose) in the west end. We spoke about this with DD a few months ago and that was her choice, but in true 4 year old form had changed her mind this weekend and wants a party instead.

I'm looking at booking a set party place which holds up to 20 children. Once DD, her cousins and our close family friend children are invited, there will be about 6 spaces. DH and I were talking about what to do with those spaces, and I suggested that I will give it a week or two of school to see what friends DD makes and what names we are hearing, and then I will message the parents directly on the class WhatsApp with an invite.

Here is where DH and I disagree.

I think that is perfectly fine and enough.

DH thinks we should put a message in the main WhatsApp with all 30 sets of parents explaining that we are having a party for DD but there are only 6 spaces, that's why not all children are invited, almost an apology. I think this is totally overkill and brings odd attention to something that is not an issue anyway.

I think he feels uncomfortable as there have already been two 'whole class' party invites go out on the WhatsApp group. But as I told him, that doesn't mean that there aren't other smaller parties we don't know about too. He seems to think that we will be setting up DD to be public enemy number 1.

So: AIBU to think that inviting 6 school friends is ok and DD will not suffer after effects and we do not need to announce this to the other 24 parents?

Your DH is crackers obviously. But I hope you mean you will identify the parents on the class WhatsApp group, then send them private invitation messages outside the group?

OMG your DH's plan is ridiculous!

You’ll only get 22-23 out of the class anyway so my bitter voice of experience advice would be a soft play organised whole class plus cousins. It’s painless (relatively) and you’re lucky enough to be early in the year so all the local venues won’t be old hat.

I'm not sure it is a whole class party idea that has led her to wanting a party, seeing as she hasn't actually met the whole class yet 😂 they don't go in together as a whole class until Wednesday.

So due to time/money/space/will-to-live there really will only be one party event.

Yes 💯

Your DH is wrong, that’s an awful idea.

And it’s completely normal not to have a whole class party, even in reception class. Neither of my children did and most of their friends didn’t - in fact in my eldest’s class there was only one whole class party in the entire year. Perfectly fine. My experience is that large whole class parties can be completely overwhelming and that they enjoy small parties just as much.

Sorry if not clear, would message them privately

Oh sorry I must've read wrong!
You are right 100%

Hubby's idea might alienate people then 🙈

It doesn't need you to have done it or to have drama, the premise is emough to guarantee pages os SM comment

Thankfully we are th e of the summer and the endless banal issues of aeroplease seating issues, time for schoo related frothing now 😂

Does the place you're looking at actually have availability??? Not the point of the thread but I'm amazed - kids' parties need to be booked months in advance round here! There's no way we'd get anywhere for October now. Most of my friends with October babies booked at the start of summer.

The general ‘rule’ for inviting for parties is either everyone, just girls/ boys or less than half. If you were just excluding 6 that would be unfair but inviting just 6 is absolutely fine (unless it’s a class of 10 or something like that!)

You aren't going to get everyone coming anyway so invite "all the girls" and you will get about 8-10 - presuming the class is split 50:50 b/g.

Absolutely howling, do not let him send that message! Parents absolutely don’t expect their child to be invited to every single party and to be honest a lot are glad as parties are non stop at that age and all the same.

Either do a full class party as most do at this age or just discreetly invite the 6 your child wants most there.

Just a suggestion but you could do the tea party for you and your close family/ friends children then just invite the full class to her big party? Obviously not needed though just a way to avoid you thinking your child will be public enemy number 1 which btw she absolutely won’t be! 🤣

given that DD has given me 4 weeks notice to organise this, I think some compromise will be needed on her part

Only 4 weeks notice? It's a 5yos birthday. I organised my wedding in less

Don't invite any of the class just stick to the current group unless there's anyone she really wants to come along.

There’s no harm in inviting a few classmates but definitely don’t go with your husband’s idea!

I've only read the title of the post - but I'm pretty sure you're right! 😆

Get your DH away from the class WhatsApp! This is really odd, don't do it.

You should have stuck to the original plan.

Your husband is batshit! 🤣 He has a point in that it would be better to not invite the 6 classmates via a whole class WhatsApp group though - find a way to do it more discretely.

Good for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your DH is mad.

But I think your idea is also not great. I think picking out six kids/parents at this point in the year is a little unfriendly/against the 'done thing'.

I'd have the party with her cousins and existing friends and be done with. By next year, you'll know who her friends are and can have a small group from school.

I think they’re both bad ideas (sorry!). Whole class parties are standard at this point. I’d either go with everyone or make it a family party.

My DD just started in reception. I would not give any thought to another child having a party and not inviting a ton of kids she probably hasn’t even spoken too.

the pressure to go out with some of the class mums however and become bff’s now that is something else!