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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who do you reckon should/will get the lie in tomorrow?

58 replies

Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:03

Currently a Sahm, Dh works Mon-Fri-8.30-5, aside from today when he worked this morning.
We usually alternate doing Dds breakfast at the weekend, during the week, I do them all-6 per week get ups and all chores, food shops, cleaning, dinners, bills etc.
Today I cleaned up and took Dd to do the big food shop, came back unloaded and out it away (he was back by then) cooked dinner, changed bin bags, tidied etc etc.
He was tired, I was too. I had kidney stones (regular occurrence for me but not nice, yesterday, so more wiped out today. I took Dd to bed.
Who do you think should/will end up doing the get up with Dd and her breakfast etc in the morning?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 10/09/2022 22:04

He should get the lie-in.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:04

*Put it away

OP posts:
123ZYX · 10/09/2022 22:05

What time does DD wake up and what time does your DH have to be up for work?

AppleKatie · 10/09/2022 22:05

He should work more equally with you generally. Tomorrow specifically it’s not clear cut.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:05

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon Curious as to why? Because he goes out to work?

OP posts:
Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:06

@123ZYX He has to leave the house at 8, she wakes around 7.30 ish…I get that he’s getting ready and don’t expect him to do during the week tbf

OP posts:
Chdjdn · 10/09/2022 22:07

What time does your DD get up? Even with DH working we shared the early mornings.When we have mornings where’s its not clear cut whose turn it is one of us will get up then go back to bed once the other person is up.

lavenderlou · 10/09/2022 22:07

What time does DD get up? What time are you up with her during the week? Can one person get up and do breakfast etc then go back to bed for a bit while the other parent gets up?

NoMoreChubRub · 10/09/2022 22:08

Id like to say you.
Altho i wfh very flexible some weeks literally 1hr work some more.
Dh is out working roughly 7 till 7 weekdays.

I always get a lay in weekends
Because a, dh never hears our poor sleeper dc wake which can be once or 10 times!
I do breakfast everyday for them and pretty much everything else. As when he gets in at 7 he sees the kids mostly puts them to bed we eat clean up shower etc and it's late

So he likes to let me lay in. Although much to my disgust and the last 2 weeks ive been awake normally time and vant get back to sleep.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:08

@AppleKatie We alternate doing Dds bedtime and the person who’s downstairs washes up from dinner…I always make the dinner though

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 10/09/2022 22:08

Yes, he’s worked 6 days out of the 7.

He’s probably exhausted.

YouLittleBeauty · 10/09/2022 22:08

One of you could have a lie in and then the person who gets up with child has an hour or two for a nap.

If you're talking about a generally good relationship where you both care for and respect each other's contributions to the family.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:10

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon Being at home isn’t considered being any type of work at all then or also hard and exhausting? Genuinely asking

OP posts:
SproutsAtChristmas · 10/09/2022 22:11

I always say if it doesn't work out that DH and I can have a "lie in" each at the weekend then we both get up. It stops any resentment later in the day.

Another option is you get up in the morning, give DH a lie in but then once DH is up you go off for a nap (or vice versa)

Stompythedinosaur · 10/09/2022 22:12

Depends who got the lie in last time there was only one going - we used to write it on the calender. The other person could have an afternoon nap.

Both of you are working hard and both of you are probably tired.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 10/09/2022 22:12

It counts, but it’s not the same as having to get up and work all day.

I was a single parent. It’s hard. But I find work more exhausting.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:12

@Chdjdn She’s not up massively early, so he wouldn’t even have time to sort her during the week tbh and I do get he has to get up, get ready and just go. How this will be when she has to be up earlier and ready for school and me for work though..I don’t know…I like to think we’ll share but 🤔

OP posts:
FuoriComeUnBalcone · 10/09/2022 22:13

How old is your DD?

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:14

@Stompythedinosaur We were away on holiday last weekend, so both of us were up, it was his turn to do Dds bedtime when we returned come on the Sunday night and he asked me to swop as he had to be back at work the next day…I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:14

@FuoriComeUnBalcone 3

OP posts:
lifesnotfair321 · 10/09/2022 22:15

I disagree. As a mum won't been a SAHM and a working mum- I think being a SAHM is just as stressful. It's much more challenging emotionally. If you've not had a lie in for a week he should do it- my Dh wouldn't let me have done every single day as well as everything else.

FuoriComeUnBalcone · 10/09/2022 22:16

Sorry, x post. I see she's school age.

I think your DH should get the lie in as he's been working 6 days but I definitely think you should go back to bed if you're still tired.

You could go back to bed while she's at school during the week but he doesn't get the chance.

Original poster
Joelinapinksuit · 10/09/2022 22:16

It probably sounds like I’m being petty, but the only one thing I look forward to is that couple of hours in bed in the morning..I don’t even sleep as can’t get back to sleep. Happy to do more for the rest of the day. Just because of being ill too, I can’t face tomorrow and then another whole week of it until next weekend

OP posts:
LionessesRules · 10/09/2022 22:16

Whoever gets up tomorrow gets 2 lie ins on the upcoming bank holiday weekend.

In this house, I'd have got up, and had an afternoon nap.

FuoriComeUnBalcone · 10/09/2022 22:17

Ah, she's 3, sorry didn't read properly and thought she was at school. Hmm, that changes things. I'm torn!