Men can’t look or find anything themselves

[Thesesoundsfallintomymind]

Is it only me?!

Dh drives me insane with asking where everything is, if I say I don’t know, he says ‘Well you had it last’ or something…he never just looks for things properly.
I feel like shouting ‘Just fucking look for it!’

Why am I the holder of all
things 😫

I don't know why some posters are being deliberately obtuse. Of course it's not all men but women being the default 'mental load' carriers is a well documented experience.

Exactly the same in our house!

Even my 9 year old admits to having a 'man look' often 😂

Man sight. DH gives Long winders explanations about why he couldn’t see what was in front of bloody nose.

wrong box. Wrong place. No label. Not where it usually is etc etc

"my teenager does the same, but i now say 'if I find it within 1 minute, you owe me a pound'."

You are a genius, I will be implementing this forthwith.

DH also does a good line in "don't look in there, I already have". It is indeed usually in there.

On the plus side, if you ever want to conceal nice food in the fridge so that your husband doesn’t immediately scarf all of it before you get a look in, I’m thinking posh serrano ham etc., you can hide it behind the anchor butter.

My husband, who has worked from home for years, once made a series of furious phone calls to me (in my office in Manchester, where I was trying to get accounts signed) because he couldn’t find the tin opener. Had looked everywhere apparently. Had every drawer out. I must have lost it on him. Crisis! I found the sodding thing one minute after returning home. It was in the cutlery drawer.

That's so true about it being incredibly easy to conceal the nice food in the fridge / cupboards. Just put it half tucked behind something else and it will never be found.

I asked my husband how the hell he managed to find things before I came into his life. He said he just bought new things to replace the stuff he "lost", and threw away the old ones when he eventually found them 🙄

(Or not as the case may be. I suspect this is why he had two ikea tool sets)

I am trying to train my DCs so they grow up into competent men...
If it turns up in the first place I look for it, it'll cost them a tech ban. It's amazing how they then focus...

Yep the round things in the front of his head are just for fancy.

This. The correct response is "Dunno'.

If my DH asks again, "Still dunno".

If I'm feeling particularly cruel, I tell him that I saw our 4yo playing with it last. I then listen while he interrogates said child. The 4yo loves looking for things and will misremember putting whatever the thing is (even if DC has never seen it before) in the toy box or down the side of the bed and lead an increasingly frustrated DH on a wild goose chase around the house.

Can I join in OP. The absolute worst is them not being able to find something in a fixed space ie. the fridge or cupboard.

“Not in here. Where is it?”
”It is, on the top or middle shelf”
“Nope definitely not here”. Starts moving stuff around in the fridge
”Sure you looked at the top 2 shelves under everything?”
”YES!” Starts to get irate.
I start to move towards the fridge and just as I approach
“OHHHHH, got it”. All happy again despite moving everything in the fridge to the wrong shelf.

GIVES ME THE FUCKING RAGE! USE YOUR EYES.

ok, I’m calm again now. Thanks for that.

Nora Ephron wrote about "Refrigerator Blindness" in Heartburn. It was very funny.

Yes, so true about being able to find nice food 🤣I store my dips and choc under/behind the bag of salad…I’d so easily spot that…never has

My (lovely) boyfriend does it too. He asks before even looking. It's disrespect of my time and energy. It makes me mad. I now deal with it by ignoring or saying i don't know.

@HappyMackerel Yes, that’s it, mine also asks before looking or then does a half hearted look then asks again, but sometimes in an almost accusatory way, as if I should know where everything is at all times…why??!

Stop excusing it, it’s lazy, self interested and unattractive.

your man is more than capable of finding his own stuff.

Every sodding day! Maybe it was slightly endearing when it was just us but now we have a toddler it drives me insane! “look with your eyes” is my current response

It’s the opposite in our house.I’m usually the one saying “Do you know where X Y X is?” but in my defence it’s because household objects get used for totally random things. The steak knives gradually migrated to the garden to be used for cutting string/twine/pruning…. As did the kitchen scissors. The inside brush became the outside brush. The new ‘guest’ towels got used to dry off a muddy dog. Tea towels got used to mop up a wet floor…..Things get moved and left in completely random places. Drives me batty!

Exact opposite in our household. I can’t find things, DP comes in the room and it’s in plain sight under my bloody nose. It’s like I have an actual blind spot when looking for something urgently!

I sometimes feel like "Where's the..." is the most frequent phrase out of DH's mouth.

In our house it’s called
doll eyes
He’s unable to to look anywhere other than straight infront of him

DH does this thing where he opens the fridge ;
'oh we haven't got any X'
'yes we do, I bought some yesterday'
'I can't see it'
'try moving things and see if it suddenly appears'
'oh it was hidden behind the cheese'
'you were the last person to use the cheese'
Silence.

We had the demonstration of one of the other "man" things today.

On holiday, going somewhere different to visit. "Oh it'll take about 35 minutes. I looked on the map before we left" 20 minutes later "on no this isn't the road I was expecting!" "Why didn't you just turn on the satnav?" I programme the satnav to destination. Yup it's still 35 minutes away! "Why not just turn on the satnav in the first place? It's just you and me! Who cares if you didn't get it right by reading the map correctly?"

Ditto not asking for directions.