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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen party politics

51 replies

Fuzzyduck31 · 10/09/2022 08:17

AIBU - I went on a hen do for my best friend from school as her bridesmaid with ten other hens. We arrived later as we had to work that day. On arrival the only bed left is a pull out mattress on the floor while everyone else nabbed the best rooms in the villa. Although I am one of three bridesmaids I have single handedly made all the decorations, games, party bags and bought a load of goodies for the bride. AIBU to be annoyed about having the worst bed in the villa?

OP posts:
Blinkingheckythump · 10/09/2022 08:18

Last there, last bed. Unfortunately that's just the way it goes

XtinaCaligulara · 10/09/2022 08:19

You snooze you lose

YABU

GeekyThings · 10/09/2022 08:21

I'd be annoyed if I'd paid to stay there and ended up on a mattress, especially if it was for more than one night. When you arrive isn't really the issue in that scenario, no one should end up on a mattress on the floor unless it's a freebie!

hopeishere · 10/09/2022 08:22

I'd be raging. But I would also have booked somewhere with beds for everyone.

dudsville · 10/09/2022 08:23

This is the wrong villa for your group. No one should have had the mattress on the floor. It would have been a martyr who would have taken it for you. So yes, last there gets the worst, but that would have been the case for anyone in this group. I'm sorry for you. While i wouldn't mind the firm bed i would not like not having my own room!

pictish · 10/09/2022 08:23

Blinkingheckythump · 10/09/2022 08:18

Last there, last bed. Unfortunately that's just the way it goes

I agree. It’s not personal it’s just timing. Unfortunate for you.

GCAcademic · 10/09/2022 08:23

XtinaCaligulara · 10/09/2022 08:19

You snooze you lose

YABU

Well, it's not really snoozing if you have to work later than other people (or work at all) is it?

toodlesthen · 10/09/2022 08:25

It's a difficult one, as someone has to sleep on it...

You could do a bed/room swap/share but not sure how long you're away for and how close you are to the others (thinking sheet changes etc, not that it would put me off if they were my friends).
Honestly, you're better off sucking it up and enjoying yourself, and if you feel put on for having to do the bags etc. Know for next time.

Don't let it put you off having fun though!

Willbe2under2 · 10/09/2022 08:28

YADNBU! At every hen I've been on the organiser has had her choice of rooms/beds second only to the bride (unless another member of the party has had a disability which means they need a certain room) regardless of who arrived when.

Slightlystressedbride · 10/09/2022 08:29

I'd have been annoyed, having been in this exact situation before with holiday organisation.
But a few points...
As one of the organising bridesmaids, I'd have allocated rooms to people in advance, and had bridesmaids tell them where they were sleeping on arrival. Firstly so this doesn't happen, but more importantly to mix people up and make it less of a competition to bag the best room. As a bridesmaid I'm surprised you weren't there to help set up, but if that was unavoidable then at least deciding it in advance means you knew you had somewhere to sleep.
Finally it's a bit shit that anyone was going to have to sleep on a camp bed tbh, especially as I assume you were all paying the same! Someone was always going to be annoyed so in many ways you're (rightly) taking that one for the team as a bridesmaid!

rookiemere · 10/09/2022 08:36

Do you have your own room ?
If it's the living room i'd make it out of bounds for everyone else, then they might want to change.
But somebody had to sleep there - not sure why you thought it definitely wouldn't be you.

ZombeaArthur · 10/09/2022 08:36

Which one of the group do you think should have been allocated the worst bed?

XtinaCaligulara · 10/09/2022 08:39

@GCAcademic

Of course it is

The reason for the OP being later doesn't really matter

She arrived late

Got the last bed

Pretty simple concept for most adults to grasp

20viona · 10/09/2022 08:39

I agree with most others, you arrive last, you get what's left. Someone has to have it.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 10/09/2022 08:41

Why didn’t you book a villa with enough actual beds for everyone? It’s crazy anyone should be sleeping on a mattress on the floor

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/09/2022 08:42

Theeyeballsinthesky · 10/09/2022 08:41

Why didn’t you book a villa with enough actual beds for everyone? It’s crazy anyone should be sleeping on a mattress on the floor

Yes. Who do you think should have slept on the floor instead?

Sally872 · 10/09/2022 08:43

I would have not left that bed for the bride. But after that definitely first come picks a bed.

Well done for doing decorations, but that is a seperate thing.

SirChenjins · 10/09/2022 08:45

If you all agreed to the accommodation and its lack of actual beds, and if you didn’t agree in advance who was having the mattress then I think unfortunately it’s just one of those things - someone had to have it and I don’t think your being bridesmaid automatically means you get a bed, sorry. I hope you all have a fab time anyway 😊

BuffaloCauliflower · 10/09/2022 08:47

Why is anyone on a mattress on the floor? You should have booked somewhere with enough beds for everyone.

Darbs76 · 10/09/2022 08:47

That’s rubbish. I remember going on holiday with 2 friends. I booked it, did all the arrangements, had my drive drive us and pick up from airport and I got the rubbish bed. I’ve never forgotten it! Of course still friends with my life long friends but I thought it was a bit selfish of them not to offer to share the better beds

washingbasketqueen · 10/09/2022 08:50

Who do you think should've slept on the pull out bed?

Snooze you lose.

caramelsauce · 10/09/2022 08:54

I would be annoyed at whoever booked the villa without a proper bed for everyone.

MintyChipton · 10/09/2022 08:56

I agree with others. The issue is you've booked a place without enough suitable beds. You were presumably fine with the idea of someone else sleeping on the crappy bed.
Perhaps it would've been a good idea to ask for volunteers for the worst bed beforehand at a discounted rate.

Scepticalwotsits · 10/09/2022 08:58

with events like this it’s best to be upfront - bride get x room everyone else as they arrive

or

room 1 bride
room 2 x price
room 3 x price

etc

first to pay for each one gets that room. that way if you want a bigger room you can have it, but you pay for it. So hopefully no one is on the pull out, but if someone is on it they may be happy because they get to pay less

WoodlandMummy · 10/09/2022 08:59

Whoever booked the villa is the person you should be angry with. What a shitshow, hiring a villa without appropriate sleeping facilities. Someone was always going to be pissed off. V thoughtless of the organiser.

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