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Original poster

To ‘interview’ my lovely grandma for memories

50 replies

chatterbug22 · 09/09/2022 20:17

I’m not sure if it’s quite an offensive thing to do and if she’ll wonder why I’m doing it.

Bless her soul, she is 90 now and although she is a tough cookie everything with the queen has got me thinking about how cherished ones don’t last forever. She has a very large family and crystal clear memory, she can remember exceptionally detailed memories about all her many children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren and her own neighbours and what they did for a living when she was only a tiny child herself. She is very sharp and no signs of forgetfulness thankfully.

I’d just love to ask her lots of questions about her life growing up and write down her answers and experiences in a lovely book or something, like a keepsake for the wider family. Is this patronising though?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 09/09/2022 20:19

I wish I’d asked my beloved great aunt more questions. I heard the same handful of stories a hundred times and wish I’d got more detail and day to day stuff about her earlier life.

WildOats5678 · 09/09/2022 20:19

I don’t think it’s patronising at all! I did it for both my Nan and Grandad and asked about their whole lives and I made a journel about it. I think your Grandma would probably love to talk about it and go for a walk down memory lane.

Delabruche · 09/09/2022 20:21

I wish I'd done it! Do it now if she's willing. Don't put it off.

Barleysugar86 · 09/09/2022 20:21

Yes! Definitely do. It's amazing to have their voice to listen to once they are gone. Just make sure its at a time she is relaxed and happy :)

OwlBarn · 09/09/2022 20:22

No. 100% not. Do it. & do it now before its too late.

When I was at school and about 12 or so (I forget how old exactly old enough to be sensible and inquiring but young enough to be curious), we were given a project to interview our oldest relative about their life and record it in a 'neat' presentation format q&A.

Many years later and she's long gone, I'm so grateful to that teacher for giving us that project. It's a treasure of family history.

There are books that you can fill in for this especially in America. Sort of 'my life' kind of books if you are struggling for questions.

Barleysugar86 · 09/09/2022 20:22

Oops. Just reread and realised you meant to write them down. Id' strongly advise recording her talking if you can. It can bring back so many more memories than written notes.

Chattycathydoll · 09/09/2022 20:22

I actually did this with an older neighbour, she had no family nearby but was a lovely lady. Taught me lacework. I told her she was a wonderful person worthy of a proper biography, and I’d like to get as close as I could to giving her one. She thought it very funny but was happy to reminisce for me. I still miss her, she was so nice.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 09/09/2022 20:23

That sounds like a lovely idea. It's suggest recording it, either audio or video, to listen back over too.

SameTimeNextWeek · 09/09/2022 20:24

I'd absolutely do this. Great idea. Definitely record audio/visual as per pp. Will be a huge comfort x

twordle · 09/09/2022 20:24

100% yes & record it. My DGM died recently & whilst it would be hard to watch now, I'd love more videos of her. Treasure every moment x

StrawberryFizz27 · 09/09/2022 20:24

If always wanted to get a dictaphone and get my Nan's life story but never ever got round to it. She died almost 6 years ago and we only have 2 silly videos of her.

I know she knows how very loved she was, by me and the whole family but I wish more than anything in the world I had recorded her.

You should absolutely do it.

FabulousFlamingo · 09/09/2022 20:24

Such a lovely idea! Could you get something like this to prompt you?

Dear Mum, from you to me Tree... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1907048006?ref=ppxpoppmobappshare

I think there maybe a grandma option too?

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 09/09/2022 20:25

Neither me or dh have family. Ds needed input from older members for homework.. I took him to a customers house ( cleaner) - those people were thrilled to talk about The Old Days!! Go for it op.

Brillig · 09/09/2022 20:26

Absolutely do this, OP. And film or record* *her if possible. I lost my beloved mum when she was in her 90s and all I have is a couple of telephone messages and a tiny fragment of film. I’d give anything to see her again. And she knew all sorts of family stuff that I so badly wish I could ask her about when I’m doing family tree research.

twordle · 09/09/2022 20:26

Oh & she'll know why you're doing it.. just be open about it. If that feels awkward, maybe get children involved (if you have any) & say it is for a school project as per PP.

WingingItSince1973 · 09/09/2022 20:27

I wish I had done this. It's a lovely idea xxx

CraftyGin · 09/09/2022 20:27

Do it!

KohlaParasaurus · 09/09/2022 20:31

I'd strongly encourage you to spend a lot of time with your great aunt and make a written record of those precious stories while you have the opportunity, and if she has photographs go through them with her. I wish I'd taken more notice of the tales my grandparents and other older relatives (and also my ex in-laws, my children's grandparents, now both deceased) told me when I was younger. Everyone has a fascinating family history one way or another. I'm now doing this with my own parents because one day one or more of my children may want to know more about where they came from.

RobertsRadio · 09/09/2022 20:31

All my grandparents died before I was 20 yrs old and I would have loved to have had the opportunity to know about their lives. I think it's a wonderful opportunity to get those memories down now and think recording your DGM's voice and words would be better rather than trying to write the words down. You can then transcribe from the recordings.

MerylSqueak · 09/09/2022 20:32

I'd just ask her if she'd like to do it. We have some memoirs from family members, some of which were recorded; some written. There are many more I would like to have. They're wonderful.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/09/2022 20:32

No it’s a great idea.

I’d think about what you want to as her about as well as your family, like the big events she lived through, and social history - housework, health before the NHS, the cost of things

Connecting personal history to the big sweep of history is always really powerful.

Ouchiehelpneeded · 09/09/2022 20:33

This podcast has some good advice on how to record family history.

I keep meaning to do this with my parents. I think it's a lovely idea.

mellicauli · 09/09/2022 20:35

Do it!

I had a school project where we had to talk to older people about what was like when they were young. I asked my grandma and got a really long and detailed letter about what life was like for a young girl in pre-WW1 Germany. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

toooldtocarewhoknows · 09/09/2022 20:35

My grandmother was 90. I spent a lovely afternoon going through her photograph collection, asking questions and letting her tell me all about her family (in the photos).

It was a specially treasured time. She loved retelling her memories and I loved listening.

She died shortly afterwards. I still have the family photos with all the notes I made that day.

Please do it. Asap!

Brillig · 09/09/2022 20:37

Just to add, many years ago I helped a friend record a chat with her grandmother for exactly this purpose. Her gran was a fascinating lady who talked about her memories of seeing Queen Victoria go by in her carriage at her Diamond Jubilee - and later, as a young woman in WW1, she’d worked in a munitions factory. It was living history.