To wish I could have a permanent job?

[Bedknobsandbroomsticks2]

I've made mistakes with jobs in the past, for instance my first 2 jobs after graduating were 0 hours contracts, and eventually I couldn't live on them financially so left each one after around a year respectively.
I left one job after 1.5 years after constantly being overlooked for a promotion and people with less experience etc. Getting promoted right in front of me. Despite having also been there 1.5 years.
I left a job after a similar amount of time due to a bullying manager. I had applied for roles in other depts but not been successful.
I left another role after a year due to being put on informal capability procedures (school role).
One job I had for 4 months, but in those 4 months I worked in 3 different settings.
Once I moved as the manager was a total bully, the second I moved as I had a service user who was violent, but they kept that quiet and then he punched me in the face out of nowhere, and also ran off and bit a 2 year old child whilst in my presence (i am not blaming the service user) I just can't believe they didn't mention the complex needs at all. It's not something I am comfortable or experienced with. The next place, I was the only quiet person amongst a group of self-proclaimed 'crazy and loud' women. They were nice, but I knew I'd find it very difficult as an introvert.
I'm currently with 4 different agencies and flit between different roles with them. I've been doing this now for 1.5 years, and even within this time I've walked out of places after a week as there was a very bitchy staff atmosphere, or the role wasn't at all what I'd thought it would be etc.

Anyway I manage my hours, I always get plenty of work and I think my pay is correct for what I do.
However I've never held down a permanent job for over 2 years and I'm 31. Some friends make jokes about it but inside I'm ashamed. I shouldn't be, being an agency worker is very flexible and I've worked in so many different settings right now. Sometimes I do wish I could be in one place permanently where I could progress.
I'm on around 23k a year I believe, whilst by no means a very poor salary it is still quite low compared to what most people my age are earning.
I'm qualified as a teacher, I have a degree and I'm multilingual. However I've done a lot of supply and I simply cannot manage behaviour, it's the reason I don't want to go for a full time teaching post.
I'm also scared of bullying again after having experienced it in a few places. I have reported, told people not to speak to me like that etc. But these people are everywhere. In a temp job it's fine, you don't have to ever see them again but when its your manager it's different.
I just don't know what to do. I do recognize that I've given up on roles far too soon in the past.

Anyone reading your resume will be very wary when they see how many different jobs you have had. Go radical and completely change careers as obviously you are in the wrong sector changing so often. Try and think outside the box and apply for something that has no interaction with children or service users as this is not suiting you. That's fine as everyone is different.
I have a friend who has changed jobs at least every year for decades..highly qualified but can't work with people . I have never once in all those years heard her question herself as she always blames other people and leaves. I have been in teaching years. I have taught in 12 different schools, moving mainly to do with my dhs career and l have never been bullied in any setting or even had to " stand up for myself" except in one situation. There is pattern in your work experiences. Maybe some counselling to help you unpick why that's happening would help and l mean that kindly.

In the kindest way OP, you don't sound very resilient. You talk a lot about being bullied or shouted at, but I wonder if your expectations of how you should be treated are out of whack? Are people truly shouting, or just raising their voice and speaking quite sternly, because that's not shouting?

I have a friend who talks a lot like you and has a similar issue but she basically expects to be treated super gently and kindly 100% of the time and it's not a realistic expectation. In the working world people have off days, they might be tired and snappy as they are under pressure to meet a deadline. My friend felt that if she went to a colleague for help and they fairly snappily said 'i don't have time I'm busy!' that they had shouted at her/bullied her, when in practise she'd just caught them at a bad moment.
You say a student shouted in your face....well teenage boys can be horrible but you are the adult, either ignore it or take action according to the schools behaviour policy? It sounds like you take these occurrences very personally.

Yeah and I'd expect that person to apologise later for snapping at me, even though it does happen sometimes. Yes I do expect to be treated with kindness and respect.
But my examples were far from someone telling me they were busy, I'm talking about someone knocking something out of my hand on purpose. Would people be happy if their partner did that?
I had someone create lies to me and suddenly turn on me for no reason.
And even if they're not bullying as such, I don't want to work with people who are constantly arsey, always talking about others behind their back, micromanaging, etc.
But they're my standards and what I want to adhere to. I accept people have off days but i wouldn't put up with being regularly snapped at. Everyone's stressed, no excuse to take it out on others.

I've never had issue with obtaining new roles so I don't think people are wary of my CV, but I do hope I can find something permanent soon and I will try to be more resilient.

You have to complete your ect years within a certain amount of time after qualifying in order to solidify the training. You must have managed behaviour to pass the training year? What subject?

But you’re having an issue obtaining a new permanent role at the salary you want so you obviously are having an issue?

I agree with others that it doesn’t sound like schools or working with service users is the right fit for you. It takes a lot of resilience to do those jobs. There’s no shame in acknowledging that, it absolutely wouldn’t be the right fit for me either. It sounds like you’d be better off taking a salary drop for a bit more stability in something that might suit you better and enable you to progress your career.

What do you think you are good at? What aspects of your previous roles have you actually enjoyed?

I don’t think it’s helpful to apportion blame to anyone in this scenario. What you need to do is focus on getting what you want.

My guess is that your confidence is not great and that affects other people’s confidence in you.

Gaining confidence is not a quick thing, you will need to work on it like it’s your new, full-time job. But guaranteed it’ll change your life for the better.

So your friends have permanent jobs, well good for them. Your time will come. It really is about believing in yourself and not some magic work skill.

Maybe start with some self help books, but also dedicate time to your well-being such as exercise (that you enjoy) and only seeing people you want to see.

It might be worth engaging with a careers consultant or a therapist for a little while. You’re worth it.

You're right, I do need to build my self confidence.
I think I've always had a thing of never being taken seriously, especially in teaching, as I apparently look very young for my age. I also probably do give off a lack of confidence.
My subject is also one that a lot of students are made to take for GCSE even though they have zero interest in it, and know they won't use after leaving school.
Yes I got outstanding in my PGCE, I've no idea how I did manage really.

I do also struggle in jobs with being more quiet and introverted, I do make conversation but I find it hard when for instance it's just you and someone else all day on your own (this is sometimes the case in support work). Especially if they're a very extroverted loud person.
So I try to look for things where I can work alone or not constantly with the same 1 or 2 people.

As a supply teacher it's not your job to give detentions. That's the joy of supply you just call for someone else to deal with it! Sounds like you've been in the wrong schools!

I think you need to try being an ECT if you can. I can't actually believe I'm saying this as I never recommend teaching for various reasons but never for the reasons you've given. You've just assumed you can't do it yet you've never had a proper teaching post. If it's about money then go for it.

Otherwise accept starting at the bottom somewhere else and look for your dream job. You might get lucky with pay but it's unlikely. Your friends with more money have built up to that through career choices.

Also being a bit brutal it does sound like some of this is your issue, some CBT or similar might help you build some resilience. Work colleagues are always going to present problems you can't just leave everytime it gets a bit tough.

I hope you figure out what you're looking for. You need to prioritise your ideals now, is it about the right job or the right money?

Ps ignore your friends they sound insensitive!

As a previous poster said, what about setting up your own private tutoring business? You could tutor online or in client’s homes. When tutoring a child whose parents are paying for the time the child will generally be more interested and that's half the battle! Being a qualified teacher with teaching experience you could charge a decent amount too. You could even start whilst in other employment and see how it goes.

Maybe ask your friends if they have any insight or advice for you?
I'd also perhaps look to build skills of assertiveness and resilience.

Have you considered work from home roles OP?

And even if they're not bullying as such, I don't want to work with people who are constantly arsey, always talking about others behind their back, micromanaging, etc

I still think the issue is the reality between your own expectations and how workplaces are.
In the kindest way, in 99.9% of workplaces you get the gossip, the know it all and the interfering so and so. The more people thereare, the more you'll get this behavior ... just remind yourself, they are your colleagues not your friends.

think I've always had a thing of never being taken seriously, especially in teaching, as I apparently look very young for my age. I also probably do give off a lack of confidence

This is your own perception of yourself. This is what you subconsciously tell others about yourself. They are picking up on it - especially children / teenagers who are masters in spotting weaknesses!
Some coaching/ councilling can help with this.

It definitely sounds as though teaching is not for you. You can’t be sensitive and introverted around teenagers with attitude, they’ll see you coming and rip you apart.

Too many allegations of bullying is unlikely and those who were promoted were likely on their skills, teaching teens takes a lot of balls sadly, you only have to see some of the posts on here slagging off teachers for daring to challenge their child.

You need to change to teaching different people, multilingual is also a fantastic skill and should open many doors for you, a friend of mine taught adults in prison and she struggled with teens but found her niche working with adults, the prisoner were really respectful and she had the support of the staff, also as others have said maybe colleges or evening classes, private tutoring or overseas teaching English (depending on situation of course)

Have you thought about trying for a job as a governess/private tutor? These can be very well-paid and if you're just working for one family /with one child then behaviour is generally less of an issue and you don't have to worry about managing a whole class.

Managing behaviour can be really hard, depending on the school you're in. Supply is hard - I've been there. If you like the idea of teaching, but don't want to deal with awful behaviour, you could try applying to schools with better behaviour (e.g. private or grammar schools- I know they aren't immune to behaviour issues, but are often better). You could try online teaching, or adult teaching.

I'm a languages teacher and have worked as a self-emoyed, peripatetic primary MFL teacher and have taught adult classes for quite a few years. But I've just gone back to full time secondary teaching this month in a lovely school with excellent behaviour - it's bliss! I applied for quite a lot of jobs unsuccessfully before this one (probably because I didn't have recent enough ft secondary experience), but it was worth being patient to get this job!

I also think you should look at an alternative career. Even tutoring would require some behavioural management abilities. Passive teachers who can’t manage behaviour in class can make life a living hell for quiet well behaved children who have to sit in classes of chaos.

Are you interested in data science? You can find roles in this space where there is limited interaction with others.

Have you looked at www.gov.uk

Search for jobs
Put in your postcode or any town

I have seen jobs where multiple languages are required

Have you looked at civil service jobs ?

Thanks everyone. I did set up a tutoring business but barely had any interest, it's not something I could do full time sadly.
I'll have a look on the gov jobs website now!
Does anybody know a good website for private school jobs?

I left one job after 1.5 years after constantly being overlooked for a promotion and people with less experience etc. Getting promoted right in front of me. Despite having also been there 1.5 years.

Other people have been insightful about the teaching and walking out aspects, but this jumped out to me too. 1.5 years is nothing really. Sure, someone else who'd been there that long got promoted, but you were already on alert having been 'constantly overlooked' for promotion. I wouldn't expect a promotion within that length of time. Generally, in professional jobs (but in all kinds of jobs too), they say it takes a year to get used to a job, a year to be in the groove, and a year to start getting bored of it and needing to stretch into the next level. So that's an average of three years, and often it can be more. To be expecting promotions and feeling overlooked so early into a role is really impatient.

This speaks to the pattern of snapping and walking out, or instantly judging someone new on your past bad experiences. You either need a big re-set of expectations so you can change your inner rhythm to fit with the world/workplace/people around you, and be more open/patient/forgiving rather than less. Or else you need to accept this is how you are and that temp roles, freelance or working for yourself might be how you do your best work.

You really don't sound keen to try other types of job but if you werr bullied at school, I really don't think working in school environments is right for you. Higher education and civil service entry level admin jobs (which require no previous experience) start at £22k upwards and are far less stressful than any form of teaching. These days, many jobs offer wfh or hybrid working with hot desking so you are not stuck sitting next to the same person every day. I would think on. There is more to life than teaching. Somebody once said to me that teaching is, 'life-force draining' and they weren't wrong. It's a job for extroverts because of the relentless amount of social contact. You havr said you're an introvert. Maybe contact the National Careers Service and get some advice.

As others have said, managing behaviour is tough for everybody at the start, and it takes years to settle down as secondary school kids try it on with new staff no matter who they are. They will be especially ruthless with supply and cover supervisors. With starting new jobs all the time, especially non-teacher roles, you’ve had the worst of all worlds.

The secret to behaviour and being respected by the kids is:

1. consistency (in everything - expectations, marking work when you say you will, giving homework on the same day each week)
2. liking the kids. Especially the ones you really don’t like! You’ve got to make them believe that you can see the best in them, deep down, and that you like them for that, even though they’re being turds.

And rarely TELL them you like them. That will lose you respect straight away. SHOW them you like them. They will believe that then. You need to be the ‘bah humbug I hate kids corner of mouth twitches teacher. The one where the kids think you’re a grumpy bastard / evil witch - who likes them. That makes them feel special.

(Sometimes you just have to imagine the things you like about the kids because they’re really not showing you any redeeming qualities! But if you can keep it up, even for a year or more, they will usually show you what you expect to see).

But you have to really stick at it to get to this place! I’d say it takes a minimum of 3 years and more likely 5 to really settle and get to grips with secondary.

Does anybody know a good website for private school jobs?

You'll find them on the TES website alongside the state school jobs.

I'm not so sure that behaviour will necessarily be any better in some private schools until you're established.

If as you said you've taught adults before and you have a PGCE you do have other possibilities if you want to stay in education.
Look at getting into Further/Higher Education teaching whichever language it is. At some stage you'll need to do a Cert in Further/Higher Ed but often this will be funded by the employer.
Adults are mostly far easier to teach than kids/teenagers.
Try independent schools, presuming less classroom management issues.
Do a TEFL course (Cambridge CELTA/Trinity Tesol/ ESOL courses...will also open a few more doors in Adult education...colleges, prisons etc
Look at some if the publishing companies .... Macmillan, OUP, Cambridge etc.... there may be something... also look at some of the examining bodies.
Are there any admin roles you might be interested in....Look at Unis near you