The Queens death - raw emotions surfacing

[Greyarea12]

I have started this post due to one I have just read and some of the comments from people who are experiencing what I am the now.

I thought i would do this post for people who would like to express how they feel about the Queens death bringing up raw emotions around their own loved ones deaths.

For me, my Dad died 6 weeks ago. Watching the Queens family rush to say their goodbyes and being to late, brings up some very raw emotions and memories for me from 6 weeks ago. It is exactly what happened to my family.

Knowing that her family have that awful, stomach churning physical pain inside them reminds me of the very early days of how I felt when my Dad passed over.

I have found myself in tears most of today so far, not so much over grieving for the Queen, although it is very sad what has happened, but because i miss my Dad so much and all this takes me back to 6 weeks ago.

I see so many saying they don't understand why people are sad but all I can think is - anyone who saw me driving to the school this morning with my eyes filled with tears (not crying) may of looked at me and thought, oh god, not another one. What they don't know is my Dad died only 6 weeks ago, I am grieving and what has happened is bringing all my feelings and emotions to the surface. The radio are playing some very sad songs that are also making me emotional, infact right now, my Dads reflection song at his funeral, 3 weeks ago, has just came on.

I am so sorry to the many people on here, who i have seen comment on a post, who are grieving and experiencing some very raw emotions at the moment ❤️

I lost my beloved Grandmas just before the pandemic and just a couple of months ago respectively and in very similar circumstances to the Queen's death ie well and active and in their 90s with a rapid and sudden deterioration. It does remind you of it and they both adored the Queen so that compounds the sadness in some ways because I want to phone them and talk about it.

My colleague lost her dad only a few days ago and one of the things which was helping her to cope was an almost isolation of the grief to her own life. Now, everything is about loss and grief, the radio and other media outlets, the man in the shop, the woman on the street, they're all talking about it. My colleague I think feels that the essence of "life goes on" which will eventually spur her through, has been lost because the nation is halted in official mourning. It's inescapable.

It's not a connection between disparate events @ChagSameachDoreen It's grieving in peculiar circumstances which compound your sadness.

I'm so sorry Grey.

I agree OP, my mum died suddenly in June at just 67 and the general air of sadness today has really affected me

Yes. My Grandma died earlier this year and she looked a lot like the Queen and it has brought it back a bit. I kind of always felt like the Queen was a Grandma I'd never met which probably sounds a bit strange!

My lovely nan died last November. It’s brought it all back. The rapid change to frail and small. Weight loss. The gathering of family.

Thinking of all of those too going through hard times

I’ve been the same and I couldn’t understand why. But I think it’s all the triggering language that’s used around times like these, it’s bring past bereavements and emotions back.

Raw emotions here too.
Mum died in April- I was due to visit her on Saturday she was rushed into hospital Friday night, I am certain she held on to say bye to me Saturday and died later on that night. That journey, that feeling is burned into my memory now and it all came back imaging her children and grandchildren saying goodbye.
It's really shaken me.
Sending hugs to you

It's really sad to read everyone's stories but at the same time I feel like I have this feeling of its comforting to know that I'm not the only one who is feeling raw emotions today due to my own bereavement.

It is also nice to have people be able to talk about how they feel today without being slated for being upset.

I understand people don't know what others are going through, but if anyone reading this has found themselves wondering why their colleague/friend etc is down or upset - please take a moment to remember that you may not know what they have been through/going through and what effects recent events are having on them due to their own personal experiences.

My mum is in her 90s and it has upset me as we don't get to see her often.

DH died in February, yesterday was like a sucker punch of grief that very few people seem to understand.

I agree OP. Most of last evening I was crying off/on. Likewise this morning, driving to work, listening to the tributes of our local radio station together with the sad music just set me off again. I would never consider myself a 'royalist' however, the Queen's death has affected me more than I ever thought it would.

Is it because she's always just 'been there' and I thought her immortal? Which is stupid because of course she clearly isn't but why should I feel her loss so keenly when I didn't 'know' her or ever meet her?!

It is bizarre for me to feel like this however, I have put it down to the fact that my lovely DM is on end of life care and I guess I have been 'grieving' for her ever since she had the diagnosis. It's all very sad. 😥

@Onlyhuman123 I am so sorry. My grief definitely started when my Dad was put end of life care. The day he was put on it was the same day his deterioration started and he died less than 2 weeks later. I am so sorry you are going through it.

Yep me last night. Its tied in with an other 'end of an era' situation. I think we kind of know we will never see another monarch like her, its very final and its a moment in our lives we will never forget.

The queens death will always be tied in with the death of my marriage. When I remember one ill instantly remember the other.

Ive had to put a podcast on whilst I work as the radio is playing very sad music and its getting me in bits, I never realised I felt this sad about my marriage ending tbh.

its all very weird.

Same for me. My mum died nearly seven years ago. She loved the Queen and would have been so upset.

Her death has brought back memories of my DF. He always used to tell me how his family got their first TV to watch her coronation. It’s made me very sad that the link through her has gone now.

My Mum died 5 years ago aged 93. Have been thinking of Charles and his siblings. Losing your last surviving parent is a significant rite of passage no matter how old they - or you - are.

My mum was very much the same (!) She died 17 years ago and was a staunch Royalist. She would have been so sad that the Queen has passed away but also looking forward to the funeral and the coronation of Charles as well. I've felt so very sad since the news yesterday, I guess it is triggering memories of my mum for me and how much she loved the Queen. Grief is a strange thing! Even 17 years later it can still feel raw as if it happened yesterday.

Thank you @Greyarea12 I'm equally sorry for your loss.

It's utterly devastating. Especially when end of life was given last December(?!) and here we are 10 months later and she's still with us, enjoying life as much as she can. So I'm grabbing any free time I can to spend with her as I never know when will be my last.

A light-hearted one.. my youngest daughter & I were chatting last night that my late mum (died end of June) would be absolutely THRILLED that her & the Queen died in the same year.. it's just how she was!
We pictured her telling everyone in Heaven.. ;-)

Having said that (the light hearted post) I'm finding myself wondering if the Queen's last meal was good.. if she was awake & frightened at all.. this is not good, is it? I can't even put the tv on to take my mind off it as all the programmes are full of it.. :-(

Feel completely the same. I'm desperate to chat to my Dad and Nan and Grandad. My Grandad died 17 years ago, my Dad 3 years ago and my 98 year old Nan is in a care home and I cant call her. I'm making plans to spend a weekend to visit her soon.

It's strange, I just want the family that made feel small and cared for around me right now, but most are gone.

I don't know why the Queen's death has brought this to the surface particularly.

I totally get this. My grandmother died 15 years ago, and the family all rushing to be
by the queens side reminded me of this. The queen often reminded me of my gran (probably the white hair and being head of the family)

my mother in law died suddenly earlier this year, and I feel raw anger that my husband didn’t get to say goodbye

I think my grief at the death of the Queen is because, like parents and siblings, she has always been a part of my world, even if totally peripheral.

All of my life I've been aware of her, she's on TV or in the news most days for something. I've never met her, but that makes no difference. She's always been here in my world- and everyone else's.

It's still so early for you @Greyarea12 and yes bound to be triggering.

I'm two years since losing my mum (got the dreaded phone call that she was being resuscitated, she'd collapsed suddenly at home). I was there within the hour but she was already gone.

Being told the family were rushing to be by her side was very poignant and emotive for me, I've literally 'been there'

Be kind to yourself. Its hard to lose a parent. Really, really hard ❤️

@Greyarea12 my dad died of cancer 5.5 years ago, the story of the Queen's death and the family rushing to be with her made me feel exactly the same. The fact that your grief is so raw must be very difficult. I couldn't stop crying yesterday and it made me realise how much I suppress my grief over my dad.

@Sophoclesthefox I'm sorry for your losses and I hope you are feeling abit better tonight.