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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have given the other kid the job?

121 replies

ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 21:41

TLDR: IABU should have waited for 17 year old student to come in
IANBU fine to give job to 13 year old who did

My family own what is increasingly normal in a rural area, a post office/shop/mixed take away/delivery hub (I've NC as this is outing if parent is on here, obviously I'm hopeful they are and that you all say IANBU and then we can just pretend this hasn't happened)

We have been looking for staff, ideally those in sixth form, but anyone who can do part time odd hours. Two positions advertised two weeks ago.

On the first day a parent came in and asked about the position, I explained and they said it would be perfect for their 17year old. I told them to send 17year old in and I would have a chat.

17 year old hasn't come into chat with me, one job has been taken by a retiree who is perfect for what I want.

On Monday a 13 year came in after getting off school bus and asked about the job. I said sorry but 13 is too young and I wasn't allowed to employ a 13year old.
Tuesday 13 year old comes back in with a gov print out on what 13 year olds are allowed to do, is very polite and says they can do these hours according to the government if I get a work permit. I take parents number.

I speak to my insurance and the parent and this is legal and will work so today they come in, I show them what they will be doing and remove the advert from the window.

Parent of 17 year old comes in and asks about the job vacancy, I say both have been filled but if 17 year old comes in I will take details and contact them if either don't work out. Cue parent shouting and yelling at me at how the job should be their child's. They then find out the position has gone to a 13 year old (village nothing is unknown for long) and then goes on a fb rant about child labour, snubbing their child etc.

I haven't replied to FB post hoping that those that know us will know we wouldn't do that. I'm confident I'm not unreasonable but the fb post has unsettled me so thought I'd ask you vipers what you think.

Obviously this is my viewpoint, I guess the parent feels differently but the fact is the 17 year old hasn't been in to see me.

OP posts:
Twillow · 07/09/2022 22:39

You did the right thing. Paren mouthing off because their child let them down is unacceptable - and you got a lucky break because that parent would be doing the same at every perceived injustice and their child is probably lazy and entitled!

Quveas · 07/09/2022 22:40

I live in exactly the sort of village you describe. Don't respond to the FB post, that's just trashy. Select "that person" - you know the one, because we ALL know the one - and tell them, in strictest confidence, the entire story and how nasty juniors parents have been and how upset you are at their behaviour. It will take no more than 4 minutes to reach the outer limits of the village, and about an hour to cover the entire county. And you will have said nothing. The village gossip can outdo FB every time :-)

Blueberrywitch · 07/09/2022 22:40

I would definitely reply but keep it very positive with absolutely no snark whatsoever. So just “We are a family run local business and were pleased to have such interest in our support roles, all applicants had a chance to come in and chat to us and we are sorry that on this occasion it wasn’t possible to interview your child before the position was filled. We follow employment law and the young employee in question showed excellent initiative and a self starter attitude in applying for the role and we are really pleased to have them on board. We hope to see you in the store soon and of course welcome your son/daughter to apply for any future positions”

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 07/09/2022 22:40

ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 22:02

"I considered every applicant that came into see me. All positions have been filled in line with legal requirements".

I missed this, I think this is what I will do. Thank you for your thoughts on this.

Do make it clear the 17 year old never came in otherwise you risk being misinterpreted!

FallSky · 07/09/2022 22:42

Yanbu. Asking about a job doesn't secure it and the 13 yo sounds amazing and will go far!

I would like to say please don't rule out young people who need a parent's support initially though. They may have SEND that isn't obvious and it can take a longer to build their confidence in tackling things like first job applications/interviews etc alone.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/09/2022 22:42

I’m impressed with that 13yo and I would have given them the job too. How can you give someone a job that doesn’t even come in to ask on their own behalf? Too bad for the 17yo

dontyouwishyourgirlfriendwas · 07/09/2022 22:43

YANBU! I’m sure it meant the world to the 13 year old that their hard work and tenacity paid off. Also many employers would just say a flat no because it takes a lot more effort to employ someone that young, so I applaud you for that. The 17 year old will find another job (that is if they actually want a job which it sounds like don’t). A bit uncalled for to rant on Facebook like that, but I’d just assume this woman was a bit odd and try not to think too much of it. You did nothing wrong.

mogsrus · 07/09/2022 22:43

Employ the 17 yr old. You will find out, possibly on the first day that he has no intention of working as he won’t turn up & if he does i guarantee, won’t be on time with some very poor excuse. You did the right thing, hope it proves the best move

iwannabea · 07/09/2022 22:43

i hope you’re paying more than min wage

Upwiththelark76 · 07/09/2022 22:44

Congratulations to the 13 year old who has shown motivation , determination and a desire to work! Congratulations to you for giving the year old an opportunity !

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/09/2022 22:44

The only way YWBU was if there was a closing period for the job, that hasnt yet passed. So deadline for applications was at the end of this week or something.

I'd just reply and state that 'there must be some mistake, as your 17 year old did not apply for the vacancy or contact me about it'

Mamma80 · 07/09/2022 22:45

Copy the link to this and post it in the FB comments.

FrangipaniBlue · 07/09/2022 22:48

17 year sends parent in TWICE to advocate for them.

13 year old comes in on their own and off their own bat researches why it's ok for them to have the job.

Even if the 17 year old came in after the first parent visit, I know which one of the two I would rather have working for me........

Itstrueiagree · 07/09/2022 22:48

Sounds like a pushy parent to me. I'll bet the 17 Yr old simply didn't want the job.

Underthehills · 07/09/2022 22:50

Quveas · 07/09/2022 22:40

I live in exactly the sort of village you describe. Don't respond to the FB post, that's just trashy. Select "that person" - you know the one, because we ALL know the one - and tell them, in strictest confidence, the entire story and how nasty juniors parents have been and how upset you are at their behaviour. It will take no more than 4 minutes to reach the outer limits of the village, and about an hour to cover the entire county. And you will have said nothing. The village gossip can outdo FB every time :-)

Absolutely this.

kateandme · 07/09/2022 22:52

Ha 13 year old sounds great.
if it is a rural village where people boycott or come in or go around tutting and whispering op I’d have to say something.simple facts like op have said.before Chinese whispers start because then things will have already started against you.this way you’ve stopped the commentary dead.
but then don’t get into a argument or back and forth.this is something worse.
people will take the facts and anything further will be pointless and damaging.

FarFromHome2 · 07/09/2022 22:53

iwannabea · 07/09/2022 22:43

i hope you’re paying more than min wage

On this point, I know that you can pay far less for younger workers, but also hope that if they are doing the same job as ana suit would be (to the same standard) that they get a similar wage.

PostladyPatty · 07/09/2022 22:54

2 weeks and the 17 year old didn't come to see you. Their loss

Aubriella · 07/09/2022 22:54

That 13yo will go far. Keep them.

Tophy124 · 07/09/2022 22:55

I’d reply something short stating they didn’t come in so can’t be employed for a job they didn’t apply for.

very impressed by the 13yr old!

17yr olds parents would probably have been drama anyway and clearly overly involved in sorting out their life for them

Cw112 · 07/09/2022 22:57

That 13 year old is awesome!! So impressive. And as a business you're not obligated to take anyone on you don't think is the right fit. Parent is being absolutely unreasonable and if their kid wanted the job they'd have been in asking with their cv.

AWayWithWords3 · 07/09/2022 22:59

The fact that the parent kept coming in for her 17 year old. If the 17 year old wanted the job, he would have come in himself.
You definitely did the right thing. The 13 year old seems keen, and went to the effort of not only coming in and asking for the job, but researching and bringing in info to support him having the job. He showed initiative and will probably go a long way this kid!

AWayWithWords3 · 07/09/2022 22:59

SavingsThreads · 07/09/2022 21:51

I agree. Reply and say you would have happily considered their child....had they applied for the role!

Exactly!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/09/2022 23:00

Another vote for the resourceful 13 year old - you won't regret it OP

Bottom line on the 17 year old is that they didn't bother to come in so there's nothing to discuss and the mother's being a complete idiot. You were right not to respond on Facebook though; there's no point in encouraging her attention seeking

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 07/09/2022 23:01

The fact that it’s the parent doing the chasing up and not the 17yr old means I would not employ him at all.