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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have given the other kid the job?

121 replies

ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 21:41

TLDR: IABU should have waited for 17 year old student to come in
IANBU fine to give job to 13 year old who did

My family own what is increasingly normal in a rural area, a post office/shop/mixed take away/delivery hub (I've NC as this is outing if parent is on here, obviously I'm hopeful they are and that you all say IANBU and then we can just pretend this hasn't happened)

We have been looking for staff, ideally those in sixth form, but anyone who can do part time odd hours. Two positions advertised two weeks ago.

On the first day a parent came in and asked about the position, I explained and they said it would be perfect for their 17year old. I told them to send 17year old in and I would have a chat.

17 year old hasn't come into chat with me, one job has been taken by a retiree who is perfect for what I want.

On Monday a 13 year came in after getting off school bus and asked about the job. I said sorry but 13 is too young and I wasn't allowed to employ a 13year old.
Tuesday 13 year old comes back in with a gov print out on what 13 year olds are allowed to do, is very polite and says they can do these hours according to the government if I get a work permit. I take parents number.

I speak to my insurance and the parent and this is legal and will work so today they come in, I show them what they will be doing and remove the advert from the window.

Parent of 17 year old comes in and asks about the job vacancy, I say both have been filled but if 17 year old comes in I will take details and contact them if either don't work out. Cue parent shouting and yelling at me at how the job should be their child's. They then find out the position has gone to a 13 year old (village nothing is unknown for long) and then goes on a fb rant about child labour, snubbing their child etc.

I haven't replied to FB post hoping that those that know us will know we wouldn't do that. I'm confident I'm not unreasonable but the fb post has unsettled me so thought I'd ask you vipers what you think.

Obviously this is my viewpoint, I guess the parent feels differently but the fact is the 17 year old hasn't been in to see me.

OP posts:
ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 22:02

"I considered every applicant that came into see me. All positions have been filled in line with legal requirements".

I missed this, I think this is what I will do. Thank you for your thoughts on this.

OP posts:
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 07/09/2022 22:03

You have no proof a 17 even exists who wanted the job!!
Bet she would have been bringing him to work and picking him up also!!

Sussex34 · 07/09/2022 22:04

Winniewonka · 07/09/2022 21:58

I don't do FB but if someone was publicly having an uncalled for rant about me or my business, I would definitely set the record straight. Quote employment rights regarding 13 year-old and say their 17 had two weeks to come in for a chat as asked. Despite assuming that they weren't interested, you did offer to consider them as a reserve candidate. Otherwise, people may start to boycott your store.

100% this. The 13 year old sounds FAB - such determination! I would get on FB and outline the facts in a really straightforward and non confrontational tone. No way would I let someone publicly shame my business with that backstory.

SavingsThreads · 07/09/2022 22:04

ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 22:02

"I considered every applicant that came into see me. All positions have been filled in line with legal requirements".

I missed this, I think this is what I will do. Thank you for your thoughts on this.

Add "which your child did not" to that point about applications!

cestlavielife · 07/09/2022 22:04

Definitely keep it formal
"I considered every applicant that came into see me. All positions have been filled in line with legal requirements".

Johnnysgirl · 07/09/2022 22:07

Of course yanbu. Did the 17 year old's parents actually assume you would give him the job without even meeting him? Just because they asked?!

Johnnysgirl · 07/09/2022 22:07

The 13 year old sounds fab.

FarFromHome2 · 07/09/2022 22:10

You did nothing wrong.

I hope that the thirteen year-old does well, they’ve shown great initiative and should be commended for it.

Longdistance · 07/09/2022 22:11

The 13yo has shown more maturity than the 17yo and it’s banshee mother.

theemmadilemma · 07/09/2022 22:12

She's a cunt. 💃🏼

And how I would you not give the job to the 13 year old that went out of their way to show it was possible to employ them?

MNCar · 07/09/2022 22:14

I’d reply we employ people based on legal requirements and we can only consider those who actually apply for the job. We are delighted with our recent recruits.

impossible · 07/09/2022 22:15

Just to add to this, of course YANBU. The 17 year old didn't come to see you during two weeks so couldn't be considered. You gave the job to the best applicants.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/09/2022 22:17

Helicopter parenting

ignore the post

I expect the 13 year old will do v well for themselves!

Booklover3 · 07/09/2022 22:25

Another voice here adding you’ve done nothing wrong but that you should set the record straight politely

whoopdedo · 07/09/2022 22:26

You have done nothing wrong. The parent of the 17 year old was rude and entitled. Did they expect you to wait forever for their child to come in? The 13 year old beat them to it (and in an impressive way). You snooze you loose as they say.

readsalotgirl63 · 07/09/2022 22:27

Agree with everyone else. Politely but clearly set the record straight and go the 13year old !

Lindy2 · 07/09/2022 22:30

The 17 year old is nearly an adult. Their parents really shouldn't be involved in their job hunting.

You can't hold a job for someone who hasn't bothered to come in for an interview. How long exactly did they think the world would stand still waiting for their child?

You've done nothing wrong. I'd put on Facebook that their 17 year old was invited to come and have an interview but unfortunately did not come and see you. Obviously therefore the job went to another, very deserving and enthusiastic candidate.

Emmelina · 07/09/2022 22:32

The 13 year old is very proactive and actually wants the job. The 17 year old probably didn’t even know anything about it but Mummy came in on their behalf - an almost adult who would be selecting a university place and somewhere to live independently very soon if they were so academically inclined.
I’ve asked about many things in my life, it doesn’t automatically make all of them mine!
You made the right choice. You’ve still only ever met the 17 year old’s mother!

Zib · 07/09/2022 22:32

13yo with initiative vs 17yo who needs to get mummy to find a job for them? No contest! The younger kid really has a go-getting attitude! You made the right choice

ICanHideButICantRun · 07/09/2022 22:33

That 13 year old sounds great!

As for the 17 year old... I would write the absolute truth - dates, times of his parent's visit etc, the boy not turning up, the other one turned up and then quote the law.

Oblomov22 · 07/09/2022 22:34

Response is perfect.

13 year old showed initiative. 17 year old didn't come on. How does parent explain that? That whilst she asked, her dc never followed up. Stupid precious mother!

ShopOfAllTrades · 07/09/2022 22:35

Thank you all.

It has been a long day, I'm not usually one to doubt myself. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

OP posts:
WhatsitWiggle · 07/09/2022 22:35

I'm impressed by the 13 year old. Confidence, initiative, persuasive - good skills at any age but especially in a young teen. I hope their work is equally as impressive.

17yo had their opportunity and chose not to take it. They and their parent need to learn that you do actually need to show up for a job interview, no matter how informal.

Almostlegible · 07/09/2022 22:38

I wonder if the 17 year old lied to the parent and said they’d been to see you.
Maybe post ‘There seems to be some confusion here - I’ve never actually met your child’.

cheninblanc · 07/09/2022 22:38

17 year old should've come in themselves ASAP, 13 year old sounds a great worker with good initiative. Yanbu

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