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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mother collects books but doesn't pay .

83 replies

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:08

I've been clearing out some of my children's books on a local whatsapp small community group village yesterday. All books get snapped up, mums turn up to collect and pay.

One mum texts me and says she will come to pick them up the next day. When she arrives she says " I don't have any money on me" (it's eight pounds). Then she mentions the school name that our kids go to.

So split second decision and I had to hand over to her and say you can transfer it to me later.

what a bloody nerve. Well, I will never sell to her again.

Isn't it rude, entitled, and shameless ?

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 07/09/2022 10:30

Zonder · 07/09/2022 05:26

I never have cash either. But I would ask if they use PayPal. I love PayPal.

If you're going to buy stuff face to face, you GET cash before you go.
Turning up empty handed just makes you look like a CF

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 10:31

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

Like,everyone? IT is 2022.

nomistake · 07/09/2022 10:36

What a load of drama over nothing - she paid.

FuzzyPuffling · 07/09/2022 10:38

When someone contacts me wanting to buy something I'm selling, I always say "I'd like payment in cash please". Nice and clear

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 07/09/2022 10:49

slashlover · 07/09/2022 05:18

So she did pay in the end? Why lie in your title?

Show quote history

I thought this. The OP got the money, BEFORE she posted this thread. What a ridiculous pointless thread. Confused

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/09/2022 10:53

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:53

Good news is she sent her mother in law to come round and pay in the end.

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

I never carry cash these days. If I'm in town and I see buskers (some good ones near where I live) I feel bad as I hardly ever have cash on me. Bought a CD with ipay the other day from one of them.

Kennykenkencat · 07/09/2022 11:03

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:53

Good news is she sent her mother in law to come round and pay in the end.

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

I never carry cash. I haven’t carried cash since 1980 when I was allowed a credit card. I don’t own a purse or even a handbag. Every purchase is by credit or debit card which I keep in my phone case.

But if I know I need to pay for something that has to be in cash then I do draw the amount out at a cash point
I wouldn’t turn up without money expecting it to be handed over.

SoftSheen · 07/09/2022 11:06

You voluntarily agreed that she could take the books and pay later, she did in fact pay later (without any further prompting), there is absolutely no issue here...

TheEponymousGrub · 07/09/2022 11:07

Why has anyone voted YANBU??

Tohaveandtohold · 07/09/2022 11:10

So like many people, she didn’t have cash and probably thought there are other payment methods you’ll accept like PayPal, etc but you didn’t and handed over the book and she sent her mother in law to pay.
Such a pointless reaction from you and a weird thread as well. You were not scammed, she paid you, so what was all the issue

LimpBiskit · 07/09/2022 11:14

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:53

Good news is she sent her mother in law to come round and pay in the end.

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

I've not carried cash for years and over the last couple, I don't carry my cards either. Everything is done via my phone.

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 11:15

TheEponymousGrub · 07/09/2022 11:07

Why has anyone voted YANBU??

Erm, maybe because they think the OP isn't BU?? Just because she got the money in the end isn't the point; this woman should have paid on the spot.

'I'll do a transfer' seems to have become the modern equivalent of 'the cheque's in the post' and the fact is that some people do this on purpose because they hope the person owed will feel too awkward to push for the money. I've been subjected to this myself on more than one occasion and I agree with the OP, it's rude and entitled.

'I don't carry cash' isn't an excuse either; it's reasonable to assume cash will be expected for small transactions like this unless an alternative has been discussed.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 07/09/2022 11:19

Unless the MiL popped round at 3.15am to pay you I don't understand why you posted.

Maybe she thought she had a tenner in her phone case but realised she'd spent it already. You were "happy" with her transferring you the money and you got cash in the end anyway.

Such a lot of drama over basically nothing.

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 11:23

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 11:15

Erm, maybe because they think the OP isn't BU?? Just because she got the money in the end isn't the point; this woman should have paid on the spot.

'I'll do a transfer' seems to have become the modern equivalent of 'the cheque's in the post' and the fact is that some people do this on purpose because they hope the person owed will feel too awkward to push for the money. I've been subjected to this myself on more than one occasion and I agree with the OP, it's rude and entitled.

'I don't carry cash' isn't an excuse either; it's reasonable to assume cash will be expected for small transactions like this unless an alternative has been discussed.

Show quote history

People aren't perfect. On occasion, you might think you have cash and then realise too late that you do not.

It must be exhausting to go through life always assuming malicious intent rather than realising that people sometimes make mistakes.

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 12:36

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 11:23

People aren't perfect. On occasion, you might think you have cash and then realise too late that you do not.

It must be exhausting to go through life always assuming malicious intent rather than realising that people sometimes make mistakes.

Show quote history

Yes, it probably would be, if I did assume that.

Of course people make mistakes. But this woman sounded like she never had any intention of settling up in cash, which I do find cheeky.

Q2C4 · 07/09/2022 12:46

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:53

Good news is she sent her mother in law to come round and pay in the end.

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

I rarely carry cash but then I tend to pay for things like this via PayPal which you can do wherever you are when you pick an item up.

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:48

Foolish of you to hand the goods over without receiving the cash at the time and say it’s okay, then to come online to complain about it.

Next time, wise up and don’t say yes when in actuality you meant no

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:50

Bumblegreen · 07/09/2022 03:53

Good news is she sent her mother in law to come round and pay in the end.

But who goes out and not carries cash ?

A lot of people….you haven’t heard of contactless!?!

It’s an easy mistake to have forgotten the money but really if you felt uncomfortable with it- you could have equally said no.

phishy · 07/09/2022 12:53

Cash is king. I can't count the number of times I've landed bargains because I've had the right cash in the right denominations.

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 13:12

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 12:36

Yes, it probably would be, if I did assume that.

Of course people make mistakes. But this woman sounded like she never had any intention of settling up in cash, which I do find cheeky.

Show quote history

She doesn't sound anything like that at all. You have literal no basis for that assumption other than your own bias.

Harridan1981 · 07/09/2022 13:13

Sounds like she was passing so popped in to collect, and then settled up later 🤷

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 14:05

She doesn't sound anything like that at all. You have literal no basis for that assumption other than your own bias.

Well, there's the fact that she turned up and announced she didn't have any money on her. As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to pick up something that needs paying for, you make sure you have the money with you.

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 14:06

Harridan1981 · 07/09/2022 13:13

Sounds like she was passing so popped in to collect, and then settled up later 🤷

Imagine if shops allowed people to 'pop in to collect and settle up later'...

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 14:13

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 14:06

Imagine if shops allowed people to 'pop in to collect and settle up later'...

Show quote history

Imagine if my aunt had bollocks, she'd be my uncle.

OP is not a shop (but in my village shop, you can absolutely settle up later)

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 14:14

bringincrazyback · 07/09/2022 14:05

She doesn't sound anything like that at all. You have literal no basis for that assumption other than your own bias.

Well, there's the fact that she turned up and announced she didn't have any money on her. As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to pick up something that needs paying for, you make sure you have the money with you.

Must be nice being perfect and never ever getting anything wrong or forgetting anything.
Perhaps you could write a book, or start a blog?