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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain the SCOPAY system is sexist?

79 replies

Botharms · 06/09/2022 13:59

The schools here use SCOPAY to collect payments for lunch, trips etc.
My problem is they only send one link out to register, which only allows one parent/guardian to register.
For the second parent to register they have to hassle the school to send a second link and wait for them to get round to it.

With separated parents, the "secondary parent" often doesn't know they've not been sent the email asking them to sign up until it's too late.
For parents who live together the "secondary parent" still has to go in and pester the school, and parents often don't get round to it (it's a hassle and you don't want to bother the school and be seen as a problem parent) - so all the responsibility and admin falls on to the "primary parent".

Where this becomes sexist and appears to break the 2010 Equalities Act is that the "primary parent" is disproportionately the mother - or is assumed to be the mother by the school. So although SCOPAY haven't directly set out to dump more work and responsibility on mums and exclude dads that is the indirect effect of their system.

I know SCOPAY isn't setting out to be sexist, but it's pretty obvious that more childcare/child admin is done by mums, and that with separated parents the "primary parent" is normally the mother (even if there's shared care the school tends to assume it's the mother)

It would be simple to resolve - just send out 2 registration links for every child, or at least send out 2 links for every child with 2 registered adults.

OP posts:
wb3 · 08/09/2022 20:35

If this is indirect sexism, I'm not bothered by indirect sexism.

CastleCrasher · 08/09/2022 20:45

I can relate. I'm married to the father of both my DC, so it's not a major issue for us, but we've deliberately put DH down as 'primary' parent and me as 'secondary' on all forms for school, daycare and anything associated with them.

Who still gets all the emails, phonecalls, notes home etc? Me. Every. Single. time. It's assumed that "mum" is the default carer and admin person regardless of how the forms are completed it seems!

SummerSazz · 08/09/2022 20:50

I'm separated and ExH has all the scopay stuff allocated to him. I'm very pleased not to have to get involved!

FarFromHome2 · 08/09/2022 20:51

Botharms · 08/09/2022 10:00

That's a bit harsh. How is pointing out a flawed system being desperate to be a victim?

The assumption from Scopay (and several posters here) that there's one primary parent and it's fine to exclude the other parent, is irritating. It disproportionately excludes dads, and it disproportionately dumps more work on mums.

Yes it can be solved by having a joint account if you're happy to share an email address (less likely after divorce although you could set up one that instantly forwards emails to both parents).

Yes it can be solved by asking the school for a second set of log in details, but there's always a delay and I've now had to do this 5 times at 2 different schools.

I'm not claiming to be a victim, I'm just raising an issue of minor sexism that harms both men and women. It's just one of the many little sexist things that gradually promote/reflect our society's view that women should concentrate on childcare and it's ok/expected for men to take a back seat. If we don't push back we're left with "women should know their place - at home with children and men should know theirs - at work earning money and leaving childcare to women".

Again it's not a big deal, just an irritation, First Direct's policy to refuse to acknowledge women's earnings as significant as men's when calculating mortgages is far more significant, then in the wider scheme of things there's food and fuel prices, war, floods and famine.

Dear God.

It was your choice of who to put first. The only possible way for there to be discrimination in the system is if you yourself put it there.

You do not need two logins, you can share one.

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