To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

The OP doesn't have an income of 65K because she's paying a great wodge of tax on that. So really we shouldn't talk about income pre tax as that's not at all an accurate reflection of what people really have coming in!
And she won't be getting any help - those on much lower incomes can often be better off since their housing costs/council tax are supplemented with benefits, free prescriptions, winter fuel allowances (if pensioners), bus passes (again if retired) and many on lower income will be getting extra cash going towards the heating bills. The OP won't get any of that, but will have a mortgage (with potential interest rate rises) and childcare costs. Someone said utilities were £400 - not in my experience. My council tax is approx £170 (band d) water is £60, electric is £270 (and going to rise). Then add on internet, buildings and contents insurance, things like plumbing/boiler insurance, maybe life/employment cover. It might cost more on petrol now to get to work, literally everything is becoming more expensive and the OP will get no subsidies from anywhere. A 65k income post tax really doesn't go very far.

Single parent, net income £2300 a month. Mortgage £1100. We manage ok. We definitely live on a tight budget but it's by no means miserable. I suspect the next year is going to be difficult but thought I'd say for balance - you will be amazed at what you can live on when you get used to it

To the previous poster who mentioned swimming lessons... Just to mention, I found one to one lessons worth the investment. Progressed more in a first couple of lessons than a whole year of group lessons.

Sounds like you have piss poor money management. Maybe you would get more sympathy without the struggling to survive comment?

but the OP hasnt given enough information to be given advice

I earn nowhere near that amount OP and I'm not offended by your post so dont worry. What others dint understand is that those who earn more have higher outgoings and more expensive bills but when things start to get more expensive but your salary doesn't go up you can't afford it like you used to and start struggling. You either need to start budgeting really well and write down a list of your income and outgoings and see where you can cut down to save some or you may just have to accept you can't afford some of the things you're doing OP sorry 😥 I'm not very good at money advice because I don't have much of it but I'm sure you'll get some more wise and less rude people along soon x

@ImAvingOops those on much lower incomes can often be better off since their housing costs/council tax are supplemented with benefits, free prescriptions, winter fuel allowances (if pensioners), bus passes (again if retired) and many on lower income will be getting extra cash going towards the heating bills. I honestly don't think the help is as much as you think. If you get all you have listed you will be on a very low income and even with help it will still be relatively low to average earnings. I think entitlement to prescriptions, winter fuel allowance etc goes I've you earn £9k a year.

The other thing to remember for people in the OPs position is that, due to the increased cost of living, their disposable income could have taken a huge hit and they need to adjust.

Say they had £600 pm spare a year ago to do what they wanted with, but now their food bill is £100 more, their utilities are £100 more, their petrol bill is £100 more, their mortgage is £100 more and their other bills like phones, broadband, council tax etc etc have all gone up by a few quid each and come to £50 more a month, they've seen a healthy £600 monthly disposable income drop by 75% to £150 so what they can afford is far less than it was so takes some adjusting to as they can no longer afford to go for a day out, meal out, buy clothes etc etc without thinking about what they're spending.

Living beyond your means my love. Simples

Not being goody because I totally sympathise but can’t you pause the kids activities for a while? Plenty of kids get by without swimming/gym lessons. My ds is a fab swimmer and just had free lessons with school.
Also will you be entitled to free nursery spaces soon? If not could you move to a cheaper nursery or get some grandparent help temporarily?
Do you have more than one car to run? Could you sell one and use public transport or buy a cheaper car?
Anything else you could give up? Salon appointments, drinks out, subscriptions, season tickets, etc

Suggest you sit down with your DP, a excel spreadsheet and bank statements and do some outgoing maths.
Generally people spend when they don't realise and it adds up it's not necessarily big things.
So a daily coffee on the way to work, buying lunch each day, days out etc only when you see it listed in black and white per month do you realise how much you spend.

Also look at anything on finance this tends to be one which adds up especially for cars. Is there any you can change or if coming to the end a cheaper alternative including looking at the second hand market.

Mobile phones are a easy way to save foe instance going sim only if at the end of contract you can be on £7 a month rather then £40ish. Price comparison sites are great for this and will tell you the network some of the smaller companies use.

It’s peoples fixed costs, often put in place when times were better, that matter.

Not a high family income?

You're kidding aren't you?

It’s crazy isn’t it?!

I think it’s just a combination of things at the moment

unfortunately I knew you’d be attacked for daring to post such a question.

Sadly the high house prices/private rent seem to eat up a lot of people’s income

mind you these high prices are only making the banks rich!!!

If you can't cope on £65k, you need to take serious look at your outgoings.

How many activities do the kids do a week?

Do you buy coffees while you're chauffeuring them around?

Could you take public transport instead to save on fuel?

Try batch cooking then freezing to save on cooking costs.

And buy some jumpers for the winter...

It’s about 4.2k a month plus child benefit

but it does depend on outgoings

is your mortgage big op?

This is the issue, isn't it. Previously, some people had "spare" money which was going into savings for a house deposit, or to pay into their pensions, or towards their children's uni costs, or towards a period of maternity leave. Now, people are very lucky if there is any "spare" left after food and bills and rent and petrol. Eventually, first time buyers will give up, no-one will have enough in their pension for retirement. 18 year olds will all be forced to go to home universities as they won't be able to afford to live away, and parents will be forced to return to work sooner than they wanted after having a baby. As for discretionary spends like going out and holidays etc.....well......the only people doing that will be child-free couples on good salaries, and those who have inherited a lump sum.

Even those who have paid off their mortgage are likely to have retirement looming, so I can't see them splurging on non-essentials for very long wtih the way things are rising. Mind you, there was a thread on here the other day about how people seem to be being ostriches and in denial about the state of things, and going out of their way to keep their standard of living.

Things I’ve done this last month to make the future a bit more affordable:

• switch my weekly shop to a more budget supermarket

• take packed lunches at weekend days out

• stopped a lot of subscriptions I’m not needing or using

• cut swimming lessons and just do pay as you go now - as long as he’s still confident in the water he’ll get the hang of swimming later

• starting to think about how to heat/keep myself warm in my small home studio through winter because I work from home (you can get a hot water bottle or your feet!)

• put my daily rate up - I’m self employed

We went on Martin Lewis' website, and there is a budgeting tool spreadsheet thingy on there and it is absolutely brilliant for you to see where you spend all of your money, and we were SHOCKED honestly. We, like you we aren't mega high earners but earn comfortable wages and couldn't understand why we were brassic at the end of every month. Once we saw where all our money was going we could budget better. You have to be mega super honest though, we sat with our online bank statements and filled it all in from there.

Op you’ve had a way of life that you’ve lived alongside the economic climate and your earnings and bills etc. that’s been fine.you’ve been doing the right thing and getting by ok.so you’ve been living alongside your lifestyle and means.
things have gone against everyone now.it’s fucking awful.everything has gone up too much for everyone.everything is too expensive.
so all of a sudden the things you did perfectly fine with are 80% up?well of course you will be like wtf because that 80% on top of being fine… your no longer fine.
it sucks.
tou shouldn’t have to. But to be ok you might have to audit now.
and again you shouldn’t have to be fearing on your income.

it’s such a fraught time and there is an air of unease. I think you have to giff CD e anlittle pardon for those who have started on hardship and now have no wheee re to go and no adjustment they can make.they are literally fearful their lives and it’s making a lot of fearful responses and headspaces.
a lot of people have gone into fight or fight mode and that makes everything hard.

The OP doesn't have an income of 65K because she's paying a great wodge of tax on that.

True but gross salary is how we compare incomes across the board.

Although the OP's household is taking home more than they would if one wasn't working and the other bringing in £65k. Mainly because you don't pay much tax on £15k. If you have kids then they'll also be able to claim the full CB entitlement.

The system is a bit rubbish because a single £65k salary would also pay 40% tax above the threshold. The OP is therefore much better off than a single £65k salary and things could be a lot worse.

I'm not judging the OP but they need to sit down and work through it all with a fine tooth comb. Look at what they're spending and make the necessary changes.

I feel you! We are on a slightly lower household income, and have built up credit card debts while I was on Mat leave so are panicking - going to make a strict budget to see where it’s all going!

Nobody I know living in London or the south east earns anywhere near that kind of income. The OP's mortgage is very low, but I'm assuming the OP has a lot of children and the enormous income is stretched thin, so it's understandably difficult now living costs are rising steeply.

I'm sorry you are struggling. You've listed things like paying for childcare, owning a house, gymnastics... take heart that you have the money to do these things in the first place, many don't. It's expensive to just do normal things and it is rubbish. It's only going to get worse. Nobody wants to stop their children doing their hobbies or downsize but I think many people might have no choice.

Sounds like you need to develop better money management skills.

We are a family of 5 on a household income of £42k with a £800 monthly mortgage and manage to have a decent quality of life.

@HairyMothballs
So no mortgage and I’m taking a wild guess that you don’t pay £600 a month childcare either?
I think I’d be quite happy with your 27K if I had barely any outgoings.