To think that some people have become accustomed to living well beyond their means

[LaDamaDeElche]

I was having a conversation with a close family member and, as everyone is doing at the moment, we were talking about the crazy cost of living now and they brought up another family member. Family member A said that Family Member B was worried as they and their partner are on a low wage and they don't know how they would cope and that they're always struggling as it is and saying they have no money. Family Member B goes on a very expensive holiday yearly, think 4/5* all inclusive for 10-14 days, which costs in the region of 5k and every celebration, like valentines, anniversary, birthday etc goes to a really high end restaurant, costing £££.

AIBU to think that this lifestyle isn't sustainable for most people, apart from the well off. If you're struggling to pay your bills it's madness to spend that kind of money when you could do something just as enjoyable and cheaper. Family member A though I was unreasonable to suggest maybe Family member B should cut back and do affordable things more in keeping with what they earn, because apparently everyone deserves luxury things, even if it puts you in debt, as life is for living. I agree everyone deserves to treat themselves, but not if it's going to put you in a ridiculous amount of debt. Before anyone says it's not my business, their lack of money is always being talked about to me and how hard things are etc, so I'm not just sticking my nose in where it's not wanted lol. This is definitely a thing in my family, the feeling of having to go on a really expensive holiday and fine dining on special occasions, whether you can afford it or not. Person B is certainly not in the minority on this. Family member A often goes on two/three 5* hols a year and I have no idea how (as they have a decent, but normal job) unless they have a side hustle playing the stock market or some other secret lucrative business 😂

We don't have much money and when we can't afford something and we say we can't do it, there's definitely a sense of irritation and "just put it on the credit card", "life is for living" etc etc.

I agree everyone deserves to treat themselves, but not if it's going to put you in a ridiculous amount of debt

Well I guess that's their choice to make, but if they're using debt for non-essentials they can hardly whine when it gets them into a mess

Unfortunately it sounds as if they are whining, and that's something I wouldn't be listening to whether it comes from them or another family member.
So they're worried they won't be able to pay the bills? "Oh dear" and change the subject

Yes I agree OP.
One example - my hairdresser.
Her mum died when she was young and I feel like she's never had anyone give her sensible financial advice.
She earns a low salary (she's told me what she earns) and is renting. She has no financial security.
She leases a car. She buys her teenager ipad-levels of gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Her and her boyfriend spend £1000+ on one another at Christmas too. Special occasions are marked with a luxury holiday. And she's terribly generous with her friends - she treated them to a £1200 experience recently!!
I desperately want to sit her down and have a chat about her finances! Of course I wouldn't dream of it, so I just nod along when she tells me all if this info.
There are millions like her up and down the country.

I tried "mmm", "oh no" and "oh dear", but A just wouldn't take the hint 🤦🏽‍♀️ That's when I said what I did about the holiday, as I was getting a bit irritated. Can't go into outing details on here, but I'm paying something health related for my child at the moment which is stretching me to the limit as finances are so tight as is. I usually don't bite with these conversations, but it just really got to me today, especially with the life is for living and that's what credit cards are for, with the insinuation that I'm the odd one for not wanting to shove things I can't afford and have no hope of paying back on credit.

Wow! Her debt must be building. I think people just get out of control with it.